FINDING YOUR TRUE LIFE'S WORK: "DOORS WILL OPEN WHERE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE GOING TO BE"

"If you follow your bliss," Joseph Campbell* said, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there a while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be."

Oprah Winfrey also is a big believer in people establishing new careers by following their bliss and she is a perfect example of the theory herself. People who love what they do, do it well, and are well rewarded for doing it. Life is far too short to stay stuck in a dead-end job collecting a pay check and being unhappy.

We were all given talents. Many of us lost our belief in our gifts because they weren't encouraged when we were children. We may have lost them by feeling inferior and unworthy as a result of thoughtless criticism from teachers or even parents.

We are not supposed to hide our light under a basket. We need to free ourselves-to return to our childhood exuberance and become the very one we truly are. George Eliot wrote, "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

It really is never too late. We have only to get in touch with our spiritual side. But then as the philosopher Teilhard de Chardin wrote, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." It is only that we let our human side, our ego, our lesser self, get in the way of the spiritual self we are created to be. That being is not motivated by fear and resentment but by love.

How do we get in touch with our higher self? Many religious people are not spiritual. Also, many spiritual people are not religious. If you can formulate a concept of a power greater than yourself that you are comfortable with, that is a great start. If you already have one, so much the better.

Begin tuning into the spiritual simply by being still and quiet.  We cannot hear the small voice within each of us that directs and guides when we are noisy and all over the place jumping from one activity to the next. Slow down.

Then begin to meditate. Any meditation method will do. Just still the body and mind so the spirit can come through. Focus on the breaths. Take in deep breaths and watch each go in and out. If you think a thought don't be discouraged, just watch it float over you like a cloud and say "Thought."  You will notice an improvement in your well-being and in your life almost immediately once you start a discipline of regular meditation.

Pray. Even if you aren't sure who, if anyone, is out there, act as if. Talk to this entity, perhaps beginning by saying, "Hey, I don't even know if you're there, but if you are will you show me the way home."

Begin to notice the increased coincidences in your life. Coincidences, they say, are just miracles God doesn't sign his or her name to. Things will begin to change in your life. Something, call it the universe, is trying to get your attention and miraculous events are taking place more often the more you notice them and wonder what message you are supposed to take from them.

Then all things become possible. If our lives are based on love rather than fear, we can no longer show up just to collect a paycheck because we think that's what we're supposed to do in life according to the way we were brought up.  A new career direction may  begin to reveal itself to you.  A life transformation might start with quitting a much-hated job. 

You can help this process by using your non-physical guides. Who are they?  Some believe they are old souls we knew in past lives. Others believe they are the departed souls of friends and family members from this life. But we all have people watching lovingly over us just waiting for a word or sign from you to begin to help directing you. You can ask them questions as you would ask a friend. Ask, "What is my motivation for continuing to stay in the same old dead-end job and what can I do about it?" Then pay attention. Keep an open mind.  Say to them, "Help me, please,  I lack courage, strength and direction.  Guide me.  Show me the way."  Doors will open that you didn't know were there.

Spiritual awakening has to mean a new direction in your career or a new career because being spiritual means that you cannot conduct business as usual unless you conducted your nine to five life authentically and honestly.  You will want to act from a higher ground of love which means honesty, integrity, responsibility and compassion direct our actions.  You will not want to work with the notion of "What's in it for me?" anymore and this will change everything.

You can develop your innate psychic abilities to further direct you. Practice re-learning what you were taught to forget as a child. Guess who's on the phone or at the door before you pick it up or open it. Predict what mail you'll be getting that day. Work on empathy. When talking with a friend try to feel what he feels Then state the feelings to him and ask if you are correct. There is nothing weird or odd about psychic abilities. They are gifts that everyone has but let wither from disbelief and not using them.

The more loving and compassionate you become,  the more you will be on the path to following your bliss. Far from serving as a permission to anything you will desires goes, instead of selfish pursuits you find that you want to serve. You want to contribute to your community and to the world because your heart is full. This is how we are going to change and save this poor planet-by transforming ourselves one by one.  We are evolving as human beings.  Can you feel it in the air?  More people are choosing freedom to be who they are and do what they really want to do.  It always ends in bliss and love.

Following your bliss will put you in touch with the dreams of your real self. Remember that soul? You will find yourself doing things called  work that feel more like play.   Like Joseph Campbell experienced,  invisible hands will reach out and take yours and show you the way to your new life's work.

___________________


*Joseph Campbell--American mythologist, writer and lecturer, best known for his work in comparative mythology.

MAID'S DAY OFF

Housework is anathema to me. I am literally and metaphysically allergic to it. The only slightly larger waste of time I can even think of offhand might be building sand castles on the beach as the tide is coming in. To me it is pointless, petty and doing it is only a harbinger of what I imagine hell must be like. So, of course, I live in chaos and a bit of filth. Yet I try to keep up some sort of pretense of domesticated life when people come over, an event I attempt to thwart at all costs but which sometimes conspires beyond my best lack of welcoming. For example, one lovely Saturday afternoon my lover dropped by. He should have known better by that point in our relationship than to do the "drop-in" but he was playing dumb, I suspect, to get a gander at how his little mystery woman lived behind the door she always kept carefully closed. Not only had he broken all the rules by doing dropping in unannounced, but, horror of horrors, he had brought his two young adolescent sons whom I barely knew having only met them once briefly. What a way to make a good impression! I listened to them calling for me on the other side of the door, and looked around my destroyed living room which led to the mutilated bathroom and then to my slaughtered bedroom. My Gawd, what was I to do?. It was too late to pretend I wasn't home. They had heard me talking on the phone, unsuspecting guests, when they came up the stairs. What a fool I had been. Now I was stuck. I needed to be resourceful or I was about to be thoroughly humiliated. A gleaning of an idea came to me. I messed up my hair and pulled my blouse out from the waist of my pants. I picked up a nearby floorful of items and threw them across the room. Then I was ready to face the music which was definitely in the genre of punk. "Oh hello Jim. Hello boys. How are you all?" Their six eyes were wide as platters as they frankly took a good look at the unravelings of my mind and the physical form of the ennui of my domestic spirit. The younger boy muttered "Holy S**t" under his breath but I heard him clearly and took it as my cue to go into my unrehearsed act. "Isn't this something, boys? Can you believe this? I came home last night and this is what I found. I don't even know what all is missing yet. I'm afraid to find out. What kind of animals could tear up a place like this? What were they looking for I wonder? I just can't believe it!" Their slack jaws drew shut and their eyes focused on me with something that looked like pity. It was working. Hot damn! It was working. "Someone broke in here last night?" asked the slower of the boys. "Did you call the police?" "Oh, yeah, sure I did, but they were long gone. The police didn't do much because I am not even sure if they stole anything yet. I mean my computer is still here, and my TV and my stereo." Jim decided to step in and be my hero. "Well, you are coming to stay at our house tonight. You can't stay here in this mess. Who knows if they'll come back?" Uh ho. I realized I had gone too far. I wasn't ready to leave my happy home where I could roll in my own mess like a pig wallows in mud. I mean I'm quite comfortable in my squalor. I sure didn't want to leave. "Oh, I'll be fine. They're not coming back. For what? They already know there's nothing here to steal. They've had their fun trashing the place." The older boy spoke up, "Well, they sure did trash the place. I never saw anything like this before." "I know," I replied. "Ain't it a shame." I hate housework.

WRITING SLAVES OR "ARTICLERS"

Two want-ads for freelance writers I have recently seen that strike me as a new low for real writers. Today's, on Elance boards, was for an "articler" who, of course, would write articles. The other was for someone who could produce articles at 50 cents each. I tell you it's no wonder I'm on Prozac. If I wasn't already I'd be starting out on it now. All I really want to write for are "Field Reports" which, unfortunately, is having major construction problems and not operating at this time, and "Skirt" Magazine. Both of these publish only personal essays for pay. The question I keep asking myself is do I still have the heart and soul to write personal essays after punching out 500 words here and 600 there on everything from the dieting drug Alli to dining out while dieting? To be continued.

WRITING SLAVES OR "ARTICLERS" Part 2

I just found another new market (new to me) for authors not articlers: Orato.com. It, too, is strictly first person stories. They call them news stories, and, do, in fact, prefer stories that have to do with sizzling news taking place right where you the writer were. But they will also publish stories about love breakups and working at Burger King. You can either pitch your story to the editors or self-publish it. You get paid outright, plus there is something called "tips" for the writer at the end of your story where cash tips can be left. Read the guidelines here. I joined up because it seems to be an informative, edgy and fun website for writers and readers.

WRITING SLAVES OR "ARTICLERS"

CHRISTMAS GIFT OF LOVE

I deleted the picture of Santa with one hand holding a gun to his head and the other a bottle of scotch. Beneath that picture was a bunch of bipolar rants about my lack of Christmas spirit. I decided it was a disgrace to add to someone else's depression this time of year. I am trying to go more upbeat. I will put in a side article that is a sort of generic sounding piece about coping with holiday insomnia, anxiety and stress with honey. Harmless fluff that might help someone, and certainly better than looking at the food critic piece that's been there for some time while I was in my holiday funk. I am grateful for any reader who came back after I left up "My Thanksgiving" for a month. I didn't need to follow it with suicidal Santa. Okay, so right now my fake Christmas tree is parked on its side where it fell off its pedestal. It's wearing its second attempt at lights. It needs another go at it. It looks like Jackson Pollack sprinkled them on this time. Before that it looked like a little person without a stool or ladder put them on. I have no reason to mope. I can forget cleaning up this stall and focus on writing. Hooray! My daughter just told me I am welcome to hold my annual Christmas Eve dinner at her house. My high school best friend, who found me through Facebook after all these years, can just meet me in a restaurant. Things are definitely looking up. I am going out today to bid on jobs at Elance in earnest because it's okay if I win some. I'll have the time to write. I need E-book experience. I feel ready to write E-books and I did download a free how-to-write-an-E-book that is very helpful. Find out how to download this free excellent E-book that comes with a download for "How to Write a Press Release" E-book download here. Almost half the ads I see now at Elance are for writing E-books but they all want to know what books you're written previously. Not so easy to get those clips right away. It's just the kind of big project I need to shake this Christmas funk. My heart goes out to anyone with a Christmas funk. My advice: Let it all be. Pretend you're hospitalized this year and can't do anything but write from your bed. Let it all go. The cleaning, shopping, and the making yourself crazy. Your family knows you love them, and you can show it in other, simpler ways. Life is all too short to lose your stress and sanity because of one day out of the year. Keep the real meaning and just have love in your heart whatever you have to do to keep it glowing. Love, Maryellen

MY THANKSGIVING

"You know some mothers drink. It could be worse," I told my petulant 22-year-old daughter as she was driving me home, at her instigation, from what has to be called a lackluster performance at my brother's for Thanksgiving dinner. "I wish you did drink. At least you'd be awake. You'd be participating. It would be better" was her response. I don't mean to be a miserable old sot that embarrasses her children on social occasions. I do try not to dribble down my front as my heavy chin hangs down the front of my blouse. And I know I do that stir-crazy move. You know the one--the nodding person suddenly realizes she's asleep, shakes and stirs herself completely, sits a bit more upright, and goes right off into another nod. I am a miserable old mother. My vice? I write. I write all night long night after night, and then when holidays happen, and I must go out during the day among the living, I get caught in the glare of everyday reality. I am a writing junkie who just can't say "when". Okay I can try and say "when". But I know I'll do it again. I'm an addict. I'd rather write than sleep or even eat for that matter. Anyone who's been there can tell you it's useless to attempt questions to ease back into the conversation. They know you've been sitting there nodding off and they don't feel like helping. They just laugh at the ridiculousness of your question. "Why were the children baking their underwear?" "Go back to sleep, Mom." Laughter. "I'm sorry," I say now. "No you're not. You'll just do it again. You'll say you won't but you will." She knows me too well this daughter of mine. And I know her. And then it hits me why she's really pissed. She had a big job interview Tuesday. She tried to call and tell me about it and I didn't pick up. I hate the phone. I let the machine take the calls. If i don't hear my kids' voices, I don't bother going over to the phone. She called and didn't speak just so she could be the victim. The brat. I had thought the interview was Wednesday and when I did end up calling her a day late I caught some hell about not being there for her the day before. I've looked and the closest self-help group I can find online (of course, ) is Internet addicts. But that doesn't quite cover it. If I didn't have my Mac I suppose I'd be shaking out my wrist at three in the morning as I turned the pages of my spiral notebook, writing as furiously as I could. Do I have to go live in Las Vegas to be among my fellow time travelers of the night? I think all the noise and action would interfere with my concentration. If nothing else, the heat would keep me from writing. Oh, let me tell you though, my family and friends all have one answer to my problem and it's the same for all of them: Go to bed earlier and keep regular hours. Don't make me laugh. The writing genie only comes out to play at night. Who can concentrate with the neighbors listening to their televisions as though the sets were in another house adjacent to theirs? All the mundane stuff, the everyday trivial bits take up the daylight hours and leave the best time for writing.

FENG SHUI YOUR OFFICE SPACE

Here's one from my archives.  Something to do over Thanksgiving to get those writer juices flowing more freely.

How do you feel when you enter your office at work or at home? Do you feel the way your body feels when it is uplifted with high energy from high negative ions in the forest after a good rain? Do you feel that sense of peace and well-being you get from walking on the beach at dawn? Or do you feel more like you have just entered solitary confinement in a falling down, filthy jail? Somewhere in between perhaps? Help is available.

Feng shui, the Asian art and science that unites energy, time, space, people and the environment can help you increase your work productivity and feel much better while you're working. It requires a few simple changes in your working environment.

Feng shui has been around for over 3,000 years in China. It consists of a complex body of knowledge that determines how to balance the energies in a space. It is based on Taoist vision and an understanding of nature and the idea that everything in it is alive.

Perhaps you would be surprised to learn that Donald Trump, Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg and some of the largest companies in the world including Coca-Cola, Sony, Shell, Procter & Gamble and Citibank use feng shui.

For our purposes here--to come to your immediate rescue--we're not going to get too technical or have you use the Feng Shui compass and the Ba-Gua, a chart you make which outlines the entire space you are in. Plenty of further information is available on the Internet if you wish to delve deeper.

Chi is the term for the universal energy that permeates everything around us from the inside of our bodies, the inside of buildings and on to the outside. The primary goal of feng shui is to direct the Chi inside the space you work in so that it nourishes a good flow of Chi inside your body. Then you can approach your tasks feeling energized, inspired and in tune with nature.

Here are some feng shui basics that will not only get you started but will provide almost immediate results.

The first step is very important. Clear out the clutter. Get rid of everything that doesn't belong in your office, that is ugly and unnecessary. Initially it requires some effort to light the load but keep in mind as you take things out of your environment that don't need to be there, you are lowering your stress level. Clutter can rise to the ceiling on a bookshelf. It always has an oppressive, overpowering feeling. You are freeing the Chi, or life source energy, to flow smoothly around you and keep that energy moving.

According to feng shui doctrine, the position of your desk dictates your power. It should be as far away from the door as possible. You should have an unobstructed view of the door from where you sit. If this is not possible, use a feng shui cure such as setting up a mirror to enable you to see it.

Don't face a wall while you work. If you can't reposition yourself, hang up a picture that provides an eye level scene of something like a long winding road or river.

Define your personal space. A small mat or area rug at the entrance to your work space will inhibit people from walking in unannounced. Hang a bell to alert you to visitors if you can.

Do not let things pile up on the floor. This keeps you stuck in the past, making it hard to finish projects or meet deadlines. Sort through your papers once a month and discard what is unnecessary.

Use symbols of future goals just above your eye level. If you wish a promotion, put a tall plant on top of a bookcase or file cabinet. To reach a sales goal, write your target number in red marker on a green piece of paper and post it over the door.

Integrate organic materials into your work space such as wicker baskets, wooden paper trays, crystal paperweights, and potted plants. These will encourage people to let down their guard with you because representations of nature are reassuring in a business environment.

Keep your dreams. If your job bears no resemblance to the work you dream of doing, incorporate water into your office. Try an indoor fountain or a picture of a moving body of water. Aquariums are wonderful and relaxing. Water keeps you tuned into your desires and encourages you to take steps toward your real career goals.

Don't let items pile up on your desk. Clear your desk at the end of each day. It will be so much nicer to come in the next morning to your clean desk free of clutter.

Have good quality air and light in your office. Keep the office windows open often or use an air-purifier. Use as much natural light as possible. Think about using full-spectrum lights.

Color is very important in feng shui and each color offers different subtle characteristics that affect the mood and tone of your office. If you can't paint, set out objects like rugs or pillows with the color. Live with the colors you love. Light colors invigorate, and dark colors can make you feel oppressed. Use lively, energetic colors like orange or yellow to accent and uplift the energy. This will help not only your productivity, but also your morale and creativity.

Idea Catcher Notebook for Magazine Article Ideas

Okay, knowing your niche market. getting paid for freelance magazine article work, all that's left to grow is to keep those article ideas green and growing. Certainly the clippings files of interesting ideas are growing fatter and staying organized. What's left to do? What's next is to start your ever-present notebook idea catcher, or if there already is one, to expand on how its used and keep it going. They don't get carried around day-in and night-out for only the most profound thoughts and headiest quotes. Those kind of journals end up under the bed covered in dust. They are for musings, intriguing comments and questions heard or stumbled upon, reactions to news, relationship updates, reading responses and questions; descriptions and solutions to problems--you could even draw mini mind-maps. There is so much to write about that will jar loose so much more. Perhaps you're on a bus or a train and it's going to be a moderately long ride. Get out your notebook and write about what your life's mission is. Take the position of a soul searcher, a seeker after truth and justice, an adventurer or a wanderer and write what you think, feel and observe from one of those identities. Go to a movie and if it affects you, write a mini-review. Record dreams and fantasies. What do they suggest about your waking life? Put yourself into the life of an intriguing stranger you noticed. What is their life like? What do they do? What do they dream about? What do they believe? Do they love? Get into it. Get into objects. Arrange them into still lifes and try to understand them from an artistic perspective. What do you do to them and why? Which do you prefer? Write about the experience. What did you learn? Describe your pets. Write characterizations about them. You didn't know them as well as you do now when you named them. Do they suit their names? What would you name them now, if not. What one word would you use to describe your pet? What do you think your pet thinks about, if you think your pet thinks? List major changes in your past life, present life, those coming up and those you would like to make in your future life. Remember as you write to be as specific as you can. Use plenty of sensory words that also can jar the memory and bring forth ideas. Create the sights, sounds, smells and textures for the reader even if the reader is only going to be you. At times go back over earlier entries and rewrite something that grabs you or fashion it into something else--perhaps an article? Take yourself on field trips just for the sake of your idea catcher: a walk in the woods, a trip to the park, a walk along the beach, a trip downtown--all enjoyed in detailed description in your notebook. Sit at a coffee shop and collect bits of overheard conversation. Some people make entire blogs out of these bits and some imagination. The part of the conversation you're not privy to is as engaging as what you do hear. Soon these snippets will grow and flower and become living, breathing articles. Each notation is like a dandelion after the flower has faded and only the skeleton is left. Blow on this feathers and watch what they can become.

Some All Too Common Mistakes Made By Novice Freelance Magazine Writers

1. First big mistake: sending in a totally wrong query letter. Now this query may be wrong because you didn't bother to read the freelance guidelines which clearly state that article submission is preferable to sending a query. Or it may be wrong because you never bothered getting a sample copy of the magazine and, therefore, have no idea what the demographics are--who they write for, what the tone is, what the features usually address--nothing--and this shows through loud and clear in your query. Maybe if you had read the guidelines, you'd know that they only deal with writers' agents and you could have saved yourself some time and trouble. Too bad you're too cheap to buy or subscribe to "Writers' Market"? Or perhaps the query is so terribly wrong because you didn't bother to even run the spell check no less proofread it for mistakes of capitalization, punctuation, grammar, etc. and you've just told an editor you're not really a writer just a mad typer. Finally, it could have been so far, far from being the right query letter because a good query convinces an editor that an article would be right for his magazine, meaning that it is sizzling, attention-grabbing and well-written. And you practically skipped over the expected paragraph about why you are particularly well-suited to write this article for this magazine. Having a B.S. in Biology doesn't convince an editor you are qualified to write about home decor, nor does college membership in that sorority you mentioned. 2. The article you submitted had no lead, for starters. It not only didn't grab the reader, it was so mundane and run-of-the-mill it made him want to just set down the article down and walk away. 3. The flat writing continued throughout the article like last week's 7-Up. There was no inspiration, no real shred of interest shown by the writer. There were too many cliche's and adverbs and not enough facts to make the generalizations ring true. 4. Again, how does a writer submit an article in today's cyber world without at least running the spell check on it? And why not just get a red marker and write "amateur" across the top of the thing if you insist on giving "it's' an apostrophe for possession not "it is"? And what about misspelling simple words like "decor" and "scheme". And if it had been proofread by anyone, perhaps someone would have noticed the use of the word "marvelous" in every other sentence. That is called gushing and it really doesn't have a place in most objective magazine review writing. 5. You submitted a seasonal article for a seasonal issue the magazine already put to bed three months ago. Publishing time is not like real time. In publishing time, Christmas has come and gone and so has Valentine's Day. 6. Your article is 1,500 words long. Had you read the guidelines you would have known that the maximum length they accept is 600 words. 7. Having shared some ego-deflating truths about the query and article, one can't help but wonder if it were actually wise and expedient to call the editor three times to inquire about its status? 8. It's a mistake to grieve early or even middle or late rejections. They are as much a part of writing as buying another ink cartridge for the printer or researching freelance help wanted ads. Paper your walls with them like some of the great writers did. Don't give up--just vow to do better next time. Spend more time on getting to know the market and the magazine. Do your homework. Research your demographics. Outline your articles. And, please, ask at least three friends to proofread and edit it for you.

Meet ED2010: A Website Every Freelance Magazine Writer Should Know

It may  the best magazine writing site going. It has lots of what you need and want. And it's not written in a slick, hard to take business style but a down-to-earth conversational one. ED2010 writes on its "About" section that it is: ...a community of young magazine editors and magazine-editor wannabes who want to learn more about the industry so we can fulfill our dreams of landing top editing and writing positions in the magazine industry... They go on to say that it was born in New York City, but now they have chapters in cities across the U.S., Canada, and in the U.K. They also have college campus chapters. It costs nothing to join. They only ask that you read their blogs, comment on their message boards, and look over the WhisperJobs. Oh, and they sponsor happy hours in your town and towns across the country. Great networking, huh? There is a lot of talk in the freelance press and Internet websites now about what rates freelancers charge, and what rates they should charge. Deborah Ng of Freelance Gigs did an anonymous survey recently, and the results weren't pretty. They were especially ugly now that there seems to be an increasing number of job postings that want to pay one dollar per article. ED2010 has real magazine industries anonymously post some of their positions, geographic locations. job perks and salaries. You can get a solid idea of what actual people at your level are making as they begin their careers, and an idea of what to hope to make later on. ED2010 provides an indispensable glossary to the jargon of magazine writing and publishing. Here's one acronym you don't want to find on your draft from your editor: "MEGO" = "my eyes glaze over". There are many more, including what all the position titles mean from market editor to copy editor. There are resources galore. "Extensive" barely covers all the job boards, freelancing sites, newspaper sites, magazine sites, writing, media and professional resources. The WhisperJobs are from all over the country and include online jobs where you can work from your home. ED even provides human resource email contact info with company email address formats for magazine staff at publishers like Conde' Nast, Hearst, and Time, Inc. There are lists of mailing addresses and phone numbers for quite a few of the heavy hitter magazine publishing companies as well. The college students' section offers internship listings, message boards, advice, and the opportunity to start an ED chapter at a college as well as attend an ED networking event that isn't a happy hour. Speaking of networking, they help manage ED book clubs across the country and will help start one in the area of any person who requests one. But don't think ED is all frivolous, light-hearted fun, games and finding jobs. There are serious blog postings about subjects like whether teen mags are going to be able to sustain their reader base because most teens want to read Cosmo; ad pages everywhere being hit by the recession; will college grads be able to get jobs in this economy next September; and are we soon going to witness the death of print magazines. The interns who write these posts include their complete profiles along with access to their other ED blogs like "Ed's Intern Diaries". The links alone would be worth the price of admission, if there were one. And there's something called "The 60-Minute Mentor Program" for new college grads seeking advice. ED2010 is the place to be for anyone who wishes to write or edit magazines

TODAY IT'S ARTICLES ON MAGAZINE WRITING

Today I am using this freelance writing blog to inform and entertain you the reader, I hope, as I publish three articles as writing samples for a position I am applying for at Suite 101.com. I have finished my first three months there, and now I am eligible to apply for a promotion to a feature writer. I just found out that there is an opening in magazine writing. I need to submit five articles on the topic with my request for this job. I wrote three so far today. I am publising them in the blog so they'll look good and be easier to attach with my request. I hope you find them useful. Okay, let's start with the next post.

Just a funky mood I'm in. It's 6:18 a.m. and I haven't been to bed yet. Been working every freelance want-ad and market write up ad I can find. I want to write something exciting for money. I got two checks this week and it has gone to my head. I'm only happy when I'm writing. But I guess you figured that out by now. I wrote two astrology things--sort of funky soul mates based on sun sign astrology and one what to eat when you have PMS article all for Helium.com Marketplace. I am also working on a few others for them. One about what to eat to prevent cancer and one on Chinese New Year. Yeah, coming up soon the year of the Ox. That's what I am. A quiet, hardworking ox. The more freelance writers blogs I read the more I learn I am far from being the one of only a handful of writers disgusted with the present marketplace of $1/articles and SEO nightmares and spinning articles to pass plagiarism tests. Lots of us are disgusted. I found some who are simply choosing not having anything to do with any of it which is reassuring. I think of the wonder and total regard I held for writers for most of my idealistic life and I can't imagine it has come to spinning. Would F. Scott have spun a few to keep Zelda in a good secure place and to buy a few more rounds? Can you picture Virginia Woolf counting keywords? I'm certainly not putting myself in their league I'm merely asking is that what has become of writing today? Meanwhile, I continue sending and receiving e-mails from my best friend all through high school, now a grandmother. We have so much fun. She is still hunting deer every morning at 4 a.m. One more and she can stop for the season because she'll have enough to last the year. She lives in Smackover, AK but she's from the Chicago area. I told her I know what I'll serve her for lunch when she comes to see me over Christmas--something she is probably dying for because she sure can't get it in Smackover: good old Chicago pizza. My poor sister and her family just live in Wisconsin. I was there recently and they told me all about how awful all the pizza up there was. But then one night when we were all starving they went ahead and ordered one. Yeap, it was sure awful. They weren't exaggerating. I think the sauce was plain tomato paste. I can't talk about what was supposed to be the pepperoni or I'll get sick. You wouldn't think making pizza was such a secret, would you?

MONEY IS NOT ROLLING IN, BUT IT IS DRIPPING IN

This week I have received payment for two freelance articles. One was the home remedies piece. The other was an astrology newsletter for December. I hope I get picked to do another of those. It was a lot of fun. I really did research to write it. I know a lot of you probably think astrologers just pull their forecasts out of their asses. No me. So I will hereby warn you all to look out for the evil full moon on December 12th. Everybody is going to be in their crabbiest holiday stressed-out frenzy and looking for someone to dump it on. Don't be the dumpee. Avoid crowded shopping malls. Do your Christmas shopping before December 10th or after December 14th just to be safe. Try not to let critical, temperamental words fly out of your mouth during this period or they will fly right back in your face with a vengeance. Good news you ask? Yes, there is a brilliant Jupiter-Venus conjunction on the 1st that is ripe for romance and holiday festivities. Too bad it's a Monday. Make your own fun. Grab someone you like a lot, love, or would like to know better and go look at holiday lights or go cut down a Christmas tree in legally sanctioned woods. Don't waste this beautiful aspect on the mundane. And, BTW, Sagittarius, get ready for one fabulous birthday month. You deserve it because you are just so lovable. That's all true. I swear. Now I am on to bidding writing an e-book on the meaning of baby names and six articles on diet and health, something I've written about frequently. I am still bidding on the the low side, but bids that allow me to feel good about myself as I do the work. I tell you there are some ugly things going on in the freelance writing help wanted world if you've looked lately. Have you seen something like this: "Wanted 100 articles in three days, all spun from one article that I will provide, must pass plagiarism test and all must be original. Publisher can only pay $1.00 per article. SEO knowledge and experience crucial. Keywords will be provided." Sickening, huh? Who calls this writing? I am thinking of dumping Elance because they let these a-holes sign up as publishers, and I only recently signed up with them. Until very recently I didn't even know what spinning meant or that you could actually purchase a device that would spin an original article into a copy that could be tested for plagiarism and pass. I say it again. I am sickened. I see these sort of disgusting faux apologies for low rates in help wanted ads posted everywhere. Five dollars an article for a regularly written 500-600 word article is common. What kind of chimps do they think we writers are? I tell you I delight in the TV/movie writers' strikes when they stop production and make viewers realize that the shows and movies they love so much are created by writers. We need stronger unions for the little guys. We need to let these publishers know that we won't be working for $1-10.00 per article and that they are very rude to even take out an ad suggesting such a thing. I know I didn't go to college for four years, earn ten years of print and Internet writing experience and take extra writing classes on my own to earn a slap in the face rate. What about you?

"WORDS FOR WORD LOVERS"

Yesterday was my 59th birthday. This picture is of me when I was a year or two younger, and not beating the freelance road to "wealth" (purchase of real hair conditioner) quite so hard. I picked up an interesting book at the local library sale today. Alas, not as interesting as its title, "100 Words Every Word Lover Should Know." (Published 2005, from the editors of the American Heritage Dictionaries.) It flipped open to internecine, a word I've never been sure enough of to actually use. I was looking forward to learning the other 99 words. (I outgrew the Reader's Digest vocab words ago.) So, based on that one word, internecine, I bought the book only to sadly discover that word lovers apparently don't know the following words. Do you know them all too? alchemy anachrosism (not kidding you) cappuccino chortle desultory detritus hiatus insouciant facetious fecundity egregious I need my money back don't I? Now I'm going to see how many I can find that are usable and I don't know them: didjeridoo--A musical instrument of the Aboriginal people (not too usable) Wait, I found one: litotes, "A figure of speech consisting of an understatement in which an affirmative is expressed by negating its opposite as in, "I showed him over the establishment, not omitting the pantry, with no little pride, and he commended it highly. (Dickens, "David Copperfield") Good Scrabble word perhaps. Another, nictitate (nik'titat) intransitive verb: To wink. Who's pretentious enough to use that one I wonder? Here's an unusual word I don't know: humuhumunukunukuapuaa. Hint: It's a noun. Of course you want to go out and use it right away but the problem is that this word for word lovers is either of two triggerfishes native to the outer reefs of Hawaii. Damn! And I was almost as happy seeing this word on the page as I was the day I discovered a word with a built in "ha ha": brouhaha. I expected way more from the editors of popular dictionaries, who, for all practical purposes, should have long lists of less common words for those seeking to enrich their vocabularies. Well, I just found the price of admission: sesquipedalian, adj., and I can honestly say I appreciate this word for "1. given to or characterized by the use of long words. 2. Polysyllabic. I can even imagine using it in places where I don't care if I'm pretentious as long as I impress; e.g. "I don't mean to be sesquipedalian, but have you ever seen a humuhumunukunukuapuaa?" If any of you have good 75 cent words that not everyone knows, and that can actually be used in conversation or writing, please add them to comments below. The winner of the best word or words can have the useless word book I bought today to give to someone in need, like a child.

OBAMA'S GOT IT! NO PROBLEM.

Didn't my man look cool last night at the debate just grinning at the lies and stupidities that came out of McNasty's mouth? No question that he won hands down. Now we just have to wait and see if the American people are smarter than a box of rocks, which they proved not to be during the last two elections. Fine opinion piece in The New York Times. today on the debate and on what a loser McCain is. Yeah, my man cool as a cuke got McNasty so rattled he didn't know his Freddie Mae's from his Fannie Macs and his Down's Sydrome's from his autism's. Towards the end of the debate he got all bug-eyed and started to look like the bug at the top of the page.

IF I DON'T MAKE SOME MONEY SOON I WANT TO KNOW WHY

Yes, folks, as you can see I broke down and got Google AdSense or whatever Blogger is calling their version of it. Forgive me. I have been too poor to buy peanut butter and jelly as well as bread to put it on. I just got desperate and I sold out despite my big talk in earlier issues of this blog. I am a disgrace. But I am a disgrace who bought some kind of expensive apricot jelly today made with real apricots. I am expecting my Pay Pal account to soon reap enough to cover the jam. And I have been submitting a few more places too like eZine, Constant Content... I don't even know if I remember all the places. I signed up for Elance'. What a procedure that is. I don't remember any big procedure when I signed up with Guru. I had to take a test on all their boring rigamarole guidelines, formats, terms, conditions. I finally got sick of reading it all and just took the test. Luckily I passed. I submitted two proposals today with samples. They want money from you at every turn. They want money to qualify your skills. Last night I decided I would do fine in qualifying my skill with computers. How was I to know the entire test would be based on Windows? I have been only a Mac user for several years now. I forget more about Windows than I ever would have thought possible after years of fighting with the old Windows XP. Yep, I flunked. Today I filled out more of my profile for potential clients. I learned that they want $15 to qualify each job you list. They don't make this sound optional either. I wonder if their take on jobs I get is higher than on Guru? They seem like big business the way they get you coming and going. I also took the time to hook up this blog with RSS and listed it with a bunch of search engines and blog directories like Technorati. I am going to get some traffic for my new Ad words if I have to start writing about sex and drugs. Just kidding. In one of its earlier incarnations, I Don't Sleep At Night, I took up a cause when I read that out West somewhere they were using nearly naked women as targets for paintball. I was outraged. I went on and on about it until I noticed that it was my highest traffic and Google search hits ever. Did I feel dumb and used. I am not doing it again. Yeah, I even signed up to give free delivery of ten articles to eZine, but I think I may have to rethink that. If I do it I "win" a premium membership which means I get to give them as many free articles as I want. Such a deal! Starvation makes for bad bargains for sure. I even applied for one lousy little publisher that insisted they didn't really care if you could write at all as long as you could use grammar and spell. I sent them a very short sample and never heard anything. Now that's just too discouraging. But I've got to do a better job of keeping my head and scruples up now that I know my daughter reads this blog. The poor thing is trying to talk herself into starting a new job serving at a sports bar. Let's just say she is not the best at taking shit from any man so I don't know how long she'll last taking some from drunken young college students. But she is telling herself she needs the job because she does. I listened to an hour-long radio interview with Deborah Ng yesterday. It was pretty interesting. She really is still a mom who blogs which I find amazing. I keep losing track of how many projects she has in the fire. I could hear her little (age five or six) kids making noise in the background and her sort of being embarrassed about it. Embarrassed? She does all that writing and still she finds time to be a full-time Mom? I tip my hat off to her. Anyhow she doesn't think blogging for networks is going to be very lucrative much longer. She is living proof that you can do well on your own. Do you know she makes $1,000 a month just on Google AdSense? That's when I decided to sign up. I read her blog with freelance openings everyday. It's the best if you ask me. About.com has a decent section on freelance writing and getting paid for blogging Now there's a job I would have liked--editing one of About.com's departments. Specifically, I had flea markets in mind, but I chickened out because they want you to know some HTML and mine is very minimal. Until next time.

TO MY FRIENDS, THE WRITERS

Here are a bunch of writing prompts. Some are geared for students, but still helpful. Some are for fiction writers, but still will get you going. And there are a couple of cool prompt generators in here too: http://jc-schools.net/write/create.htm http://www.canteach.ca/elementary/prompts.html http://www.creativewritingprompts.com/ http://www.writersdigest.com/WritingPrompts/ http://www.cdli.ca/CITE/writing_prompts.htm http://www.theteacherscorner.net/daily-writing-prompts/index.htm http://www.creativity-portal.com/howto/writing/writing.prompts.html http://www.classbrain.com/artteensb/publish/cat_index_22.shtml http://www.ettc.net/writing/Index.htm http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/5/4wiencek.html http://www.abcteach.com/MonthtoMonth/January/writing.htm http://languageisavirus.com/writing_prompts.html http://www.tengrrl.com/tens/018.shtml http://tengrrl.com/tens/019.shtml http://www.doe.mass.edu/mcas/2004/release/prompts.html http://www.oncewritten.com/FreeCreativeWritingPrompts.php And Blue Mountain Artsis having a poetry contest with no entry fees. It's the Thirteenth Biannual Poetry Card Contest and the deadline is December 31, 2008. 1st prize = $300 * 2nd prize = $150 * 3rd prize = $50 Enter as many times as you like I found a good long list of magazine writer's markets complete with links for writer's guidelines without having to spend $29 I don't have on "Writer's Market". It's at Writing for Dollars and each listing tells you straight up whether it pays low, medium or high. There are a lot of good ones on there and I'm only up to Photolife. There are also trade, greeting card and a whole bunch of markets by topics. You're welcome. I think I am going to try my hand at writing greeting cards. I can't believe how well they pay: around $75 each. Here's one list of publishers. Wait, here's a better list with links for guidelines for those that accept freelance submissions. I have sent away for all kinds of guidelines. There was a freelance ad this week for writers to write cards for cancer patients: Freelance Greeting Card Writers Wanted by Jodee Our new company is looking for freelance greeting card writers. Specifically, for both adults and children suffering with cancer. Please submit greeting on an index card with name and contact information on the back. Thank You. Pays $75.00 per verse Contact: Tammy Maxey Maxey,LLC P.O. Box 701 Moorestown, NJ 08057 Also, looking for all categories of greeting including traditional, funny as well as spiritual. I looked around on e card sites trying to find out what passes for funny for cancer patients. It was mostly a bunch of "fuck cancer" cards. Not too funny in my book, but then my sister just died of it in December. I may have trouble coming up with funny cards.

THE WRITING LIFE OF UPS AND DOWNS AND ALL AROUNDS

Top 10 Blogs for Writers List is Out Just sitting at my desk day after day trying to make something work with my writing. Dig this. For three days I was cheered because I stayed in first place in the most recent Helium.com writing contest. I figured I'd just write one more article even though I was a shoo-in to win. Today it all came crumbling down and the peers rated me so low I am not a contender. I wish I knew how the peers rate. I think I am a good writer. I do a lot of research and really knock myself out on each and every article I write. And then I find out it was all set on sand. I have been applying for some more freelance gigs. Nothing too ambitious. Just part-time sort of fun article writing. I am wondering if Google's Knol really ends up paying anything. It's all AdSense money and I have never used that before. I am so sick of making nickle and dimes while I get my big chance at that overused want-ad word, "exposure." I need to make some money, not be exposed. I am still plugging away at 30 poems in 30 days. Here's one poem I wrote about my 18-year-old son: Bunny Boy My son, the semi-grown man-child, memorizes rap music and says fuck too much. He wanted something to love never having had a girlfriend and his Dad died. Now he has a tiny, baby, long-eared, softer than baby hair, white and brown rabbit That follows him wherever he goes. It eats bright green, crunchy lettuce from his hand. He makes little houses for it to crawl in and out from boxes. I was there the first time the little bunny let him pet her with two extended fingers. His touch was barely there, almost above her, as though he were petting her aura. His smile was so gentle and loving as he petted her the gate to his heart was left wide open. Anyone could have walked right in. I sure did. *** Anyhow, it came from my heart. My son is so precious with his rabbit, Biscuit. He would kill me if he ever read this poem, but I don't have to worry about either of my kids reading my blog. Now I am working on a Helium.com Marketplace publisher request for an article that provides "a compelling view of life between the ages of 50 and 59." They want the "most interesting, scintillating or inspiring items of news that are occurring." All I came up with is that it's making big news that Baby Boomers are rethinking retirement in view of the economic situation in this country. Instead, they are looking into second and third careers. Some talk about having to work until they are 80. A survey of 50- to 65-year-old workers done for the federal government in August found that 29 percent of 55- to 59-year-olds plan to work beyond 65. And that was even before all the shit hit the fan on Wall Street. I'm sure it's worse now. I better get some discipline with my writing life or I'm going to be one of the toothless ones asking, "Do you want fries with that?"

"AND ALL I ASK OF DYING IS TO GO NATURALLY." ("When I Die")

I have decided that I want a green funeral. I don't want it so I can be trendy, because I don't believe I'll care about keeping up with the greenies at that point in my non-life. I want it because it makes sense and it doesn't scare me. All my life I've had this crazy notion that I'm going to come to inside that steel or what have you coffin and be six feet under and wide awake and alert. I'll be trapped and alone, and have no way to scream for help. Does anyone else ever have that thought or is it just me? Besides, what could be more natural than just returning to the earth. It's the ultimate recycling after a long life of recycling. "Dust to dust" and all that. Not to mention that it is cheap and I have no life insurance. The kids could set me up on the couch if they wanted to be Irish about it, or skip the whole wake thing entirely and just have a simple memorial service in the woods some place. At least I hope they will want to do that much. My ex used to say he was going to put me in a giant Hefty bag and drag me from his rear car bumper for the dogs to get. Nice, huh? You might say what about cremation? It pollutes. It causes nitrogen oxides, carbon monoxide, sulfur dioxide, heavy metals and particulates to be released into the atmosphere when a body is cremated. Don't be a polluter after you tried not to be during your life. No embalming when you go green (ick, gross). I don't care if there's a casket really. Put me in a refrigerator box if they want. But you can get cool green caskets made of jute or bamboo. It's time to stop taking advantage of the dead and their relatives with all the expensive ways funeral directors have of trying to remove the living from the fact that the deceased is actually deceased. The dead person doesn't care how expensive the coffin is and if it's guaranteed not to rust or leak. The family really shouldn't give a shit either. The person is dead. And I don't want some male stranger even trying to fix my hair and makeup the way I wore it. I get shudders. I can barely stand to go to a new salon wide awake for fear of who they might try to turn me into. I wash my hair and scrunch its natural curl. Then I let the air dry it. Five will get you ten they would put rollers in my hair, blow dry it, and put on a lot of mousse. Then they would put bright red lipstick on me, and I rarely ever even wear light lipstick. I would sit up in that casket and scream I swear. And all my relatives and friends would be trying to say something nice, all the time thinking, "My God she looks so dead, and so horrible. And what has she done to her hair!" So I want to get back to tradition. They put the dead to rest long before there were funeral directors. I guess the hard part is finding a place to legally bury the body. I know they won't let the kids put me in the back yard like a dog. I found a great resource on green funerals that tells you about everything you need to know. According to this they have green burial specialists, so it's not the kids and you, the stiff, out in the back yard with a shovel. The next time the annoying people from Penn Life call I am going to tell them that my funeral will only cost as much as a couple of cartons of cigarettes and I don't need them.