Jump for Joy

Joy is not just for children.  Do you have a joyful life?  I believe it is part of the divine plan to have joyful lives all of our days.  There are many signs and wonders pointing to this conclusion:  Love, babies being born, the sunsets and sunrises, the oceans and lakes and rivers; the variety of beautiful birds, fish and wildlife, rainbows, music, art and so much more all around you.  But are you appreciating it and feeling the joy?


Sometimes we have mean inner critics and scolds in our head who have the voice of a parent, teacher, or spouse, and these tell us we don't deserve joy.  Wake up.  Joy is there in abundance for all of us and it doesn't depend on your worthiness.  The higher power and the universe don't play that nasty way.  It's all given to you because you are loved unconditionally.


What pleasures are you foregoing because you feel too guilty or unworthy to take part in going after them?  If reading or writing is a great joy for you, don't allow yourself to feel like you should be doing something less fun, more boring, and thankless like cleaning house or decluttering.  Puhleeze.  That's your grandmother's voice telling you that you must be a human doing not human being.  Women especially are or used to be thought to keep it all together for a family.  The mother couldn't take a day off to wander in the woods looking for faries and journaling.  She should be ironing sheets and pillowcases or cleaning in back of the stove.  What total shit.


Men can take themselves too serious too because they think of themselves as the breadwinners, sometimes even if their wives make more money than they do.  Still, a man provides for his family, and in his free time he fixes or maintains something.  There's grass to cut, oil to change, and cabinet handles to put back on.  What a load of rot.


You could be missing out on some great times and rushes of bliss by not going with the flow that leads to joy.  We need other people, activities, music, books and art or just getting away by ourselves without guilt for a day.  We are meant to be joyous.


What brings you pleasure?  Quick, while you're thinking of it, make a list of the top pleasures you enjoy.  It could be as simple as drinking your morning coffee or it could be dressing formal and going to an opera.  What lights up your board?  What are you doing at those times when hours fly by like minutes.  What do you fantasize about doing "if only you had time."


You do have time.  You have the eternal Now which is really all any of us has.  Stop living for tomorrow and take a break.  Here's how to begin:  Say these things in your mind as you inhale deeply:


I take one breath to let go.


One breath to be here.


One breath to ask "Now what?"


Centers you and prepares you for a new beginning.  Today is the day you pull out your list of pleasures simple and complex, write beside each entry the last time you did it, and start with the ones you've not done but always wanted to try and then you can move to the ones where too much time has gone by without you experiencing it.


How can you make room in your life for pleasure?  It's easy if you use your divine intuition to find the answer.  You know, you aren't the only one who can take care of your baby.  Let some other baby lover have a turn while you go to a movie or an art gallery or to a thrift shop.


Here's some ideas for you.  These are some of the things that give me the most pleasure.  Try some or noodle on the Internet to find new ways of finding joy.


I love and I get great pleasure from:


1.  Going to the library and checking out 20 books if I want to as well as buying some of the sale books.  I bring them home and drop them all over my bed and I feel like I'm six and it's Christmas morning.  I don't know what to read about first:  making jewelry, decoupaging, decorating flowerpots, the short stories and poetry of Raymond Carver or fiction in the old New Yorkers I've bought for a dime each.


2.  Browsing at stores I have never been in but meant to visit and hanging out at the Carousel Thrift Shop, my own personal Disneyland bring me enormous pleasure.  I am quite happy just looking without buying if need be, but who can resist a vegetarian cookbook for 75 cents or a pair of beaded earrings for a dollar?  I pick up cheap candles, craft paint, cups and saucers from other countries, and men's shorts because they have those deep pockets that stuff isn't always falling out of.  Browsing at a book store is always a thrill for me too.


3.  Being creative brings me lots of pleasure and causes me to lose all sense of time going by.  I enjoy art journaling where I take an old textbook and paint or cover the pages in scrapbook paper, pictures, postcards or whatever and then get as wild as I want to be.  It's for my eyes only.  I can be as opinionated as all get out, and I can enter signs and notes about my daily activities.  I might glue on a page from a menu where I  had lunch, a photo I got developed, a matchbook from a club I visited to watch and learn belly dancing or just draw and color with markers.  I feel like I'm six once again with my first big box of crayons.


4. Spending time with my adult children usually brings me pleasure and gives me raw joy that runs deep.  I am elated when my daughter invites me to go to church or to a movie with her, or when my son is actually willing to let me cook a meal for him and he eats it.  When they're not criticising me or telling me how I should live my life, I get a lot of delight out of our visits.


5. I find real joy in eating chocolate, the darker the better.  I have a new addiction:  Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with dark chocolate.  Put some in the fridge for later and then prepare to taste a bit of paradise.


There's more, of course, but I don't want to bore you.  I also brainstormed and came up with some things I'd like to try that might bring me joy like taking a Zumba Fitness class through our park district.  Zumba, if you don't know, is dancing to a variety of world rhythms like the salsa, merengue, cumbia, bellydance, Bollywood and reggaeton.  Doesn't that sound like something that could not only get you going but knock decades off your age too?  I can't wait.


Or I could join Toastmasters and learn more about public speaking.  I know that isn't everybody's idea of a good time, but I went to some of their meetings and participated enough to know that I love it.


I've been using Feng Shui to free the chi in my home office, and I really think I could find oodles of joy continuing to balance the yin and the yang throughout the whole place.  I've got colored marbles in blue-tinted Mason jars for the element of water for bringing inner tranquility, spirituality, inner development and independence.  I've got plants to enhance chi and I gave them some razmatazz with the addition of twinkle lights laced through them.  I have so many candles on my desk that I might start a fire but I will maintain chi.  I put up butterfly windchimes, and made a rope with seven metal bells on it and strung crystals and beads to hang near the window.  It is so bee-u-ti-ful!   I have many more ideas.  Now I just have to rise out of my rut or comfort zone as I call it and go have new joyful experiences.  I wish you much joy.  Now go out and find it right where it has been all the time:  in the eternal Now.



MS REFUSENIK TELLS IT LIKE IT IS: MS REFUSENIK TELLS IT LIKE IT IS: HITCHHIKING NAKED

MS REFUSENIK TELLS IT LIKE IT IS: MS REFUSENIK TELLS IT LIKE IT IS: HITCHHIKING NAKED
Look at the lovely nude family I found on Cafe Mom. Those are some natural, healthy people

MS REFUSENIK TELLS IT LIKE IT IS: HITCHHIKING NAKED

MS REFUSENIK TELLS IT LIKE IT IS: HITCHHIKING NAKED
This is my most popular blog entry according to Feedjit, and people google "hitchhiking naked" (for strange reasons I'm better off not knowing. I came back to re-read this entry, and it is just as sweet, innocent and pure as I remembered it. Folks, grow up. Our bodies are just are vessels for the soul and we all get naked some time. The point I make, as a feminist/flower child (old lady), is that when everybody is on the same child-like, innocent page without pornographic urges, it's like being a child skinny dipping in the ocean. It was magical. It's too bad such a lovely memory has to now serve as a beacon for those desperately seeking smut.

Have You Helped the World Lately With An Act of Random Kindness?








"People say what we're all seeking is a meaning for life...  I think that what we're really seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality, so that we can actually feel the rapture of being alive."--Joseph Campbell

"A human being is a part of the whole that we call the universe,a part limited in time and  space.  He experiences himself,his thoughts and feelings,as something separated from the rest--a kind of optical illusion of his consciousness.  This illusion is a prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for only the few people nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living beings and all of nature."--Albert Einstein

Want to feel happy now?  Commit a random act of  kindness  to someone you know or someone you have never met before. Research has proven that these acts of kindness actually reduce stress.  Read more research, sign up for a free newsletter, get ideas for your random acts and more at Random Acts of Kindness Foundation.org.  Be sure to check out  the kindness links to similar sites.

An act of kindness that feels small to you, like smiling and saying hello to a stranger, can be a very important moment in the life of a person who is depressed, lonely or feeling like giving up.

Other acts of kindness suggestions:

Pay Someone's Toll

We've all been there: waiting in a long line of cars at a toll booth, sometimes for up to an hour or more, simply waiting to pay our toll so we can get on to our destination. Traffic on a summer weekend or during the holidays can be awful. Why not make someone's experience a little more pleasant and pay their toll for them?


Give Carepacks to the Homeless

There are so many everyday accessories and toiletries we take for granted - toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, shampoo, deodorant.

Pay the Tab for the Person Behind You

Have you ever experienced kindness from someone you don’t know? Knowing that someone else noticed you can make your day a thousand times better, especially if you’re feeling down. Celebrate those around you by doing random acts of kindness for strangers, just for the sake of making someone else happy. Pay the tab for someone behind you in line at the grocery store, gas station or the drive-through. It doesn't have to be costly, just friendly.
Benefits

Offer to pay the tab for the person in line behind you at the grocery store or gas station. You could also pay for the drink of someone behind you at a coffee shop. If you notice someone who looks like they’re having a bad day, all the more reason to cheer them up with a random act of kindness!

When you notice that someone in line in front of you at a store is short on money when it comes time for them to pay, offer to chip in a few bucks or whatever it takes to help them afford their purchases.

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."--Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965); French philosopher, physician
beremedy.org

"Beremedy.org is an organization connecting people who need help with those who want to give it via social media. We feel that most people would help if they simply knew the needs in their local community. Through applications like Twitter and Facebook, beremedy alerts people when someone in their community needs help. Members then respond to the message or pass on the message to those they feel can.

You can be the remedy! To learn more, visit their website: "

#10 Give It Away, Give It Away Now!  from list of  "10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy,"
by Jen Angel

"Make altruism and giving part of your life, and be purposeful about it. Researcher Stephen Post says helping a neighbor, volunteering, or donating goods and services results in a “helper’s high,” and you get more health benefits than you would from exercise or quitting smoking. Listening to a friend, passing on your skills, celebrating others’ successes, and forgiveness also contribute to happiness, he says. Researcher Elizabeth Dunn found that those who spend money on others reported much greater happiness than those who spend it on themselves."

Be sure to check out the World Kindness Movement.org

There you will learn that this November 13 is World Kindness Day.  Many member countries are organizing 
Kindness activities to celebrate this day. Find out more about World Kindness Day and what events are taking place around the world.



Joy Cometh In the Morning: Bring Joy Into Your Life Now

Photo: @Sam  Young8 and That Amy Sloan: Sunday with @Photo,
by Photo
Flickr Creative Commons

I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours:  A list of a few of the things that bring me joy and put me in the Divine Now:

(If you haven't experienced any joy recently, use things that have brought you joy in the past or might in the future.)

1. Zumba Fitness - Dance to world rhythms like salsa, merengue,cumbia, bellydance, Bollywood and reggaeton.

2.  Going to new places (neighborhoods, restaurants, shops, countries, states...) and exploring.

3,  Tending plants and flowers.

4.  Reading for fun.

5.  My children (sometimes)

6.  Coffee & Diet Coke

7.  Meditating at my new altar I just made.

8.  Beautifying something somewhere. (Yesterday I painted little wooden stars and put glitter on them. Then I arranged them in beautiful glass bowl with seashells.  Attractive display on end table that brings me joy was result.)

9.  Planning meals, menus, writing list of ingredients needed, shopping for meals, and cooking them to serve with love.

10.  Dreaming/Fantasizing.

As you can see, you don't need money to go bring more joy into your life. If you needed money, I'd be one miserable old soul.  If you can't afford to travel to another country, go visit a neighborhood you've never explored. 

Now make your list:


Things, People, Adventures  & Miscellaneous That Bring Me Joy Or Might:
(Let your imagination run free.  Don't tack on any "Yes, Buts.")

1.

2.

3.

etc.-- As many as you can think of.

When was the last time, if ever, that you did or appreciated any of the things on your list?

What can you do today to raise your vibration frequency and feel joy coursing through you?

What I have done so far today to put me in the Divine Now and in the flow of  joy:

1.  Planted some seedlings in the house.

2.  Did something creative:  Wrote a senryu on FanStory.com.  (This is it:  Tornado flattened the house
                                                                                                                 Dead occupant
                                                                                                                  Still clutched channel changer.)
If only the man could have pushed a button on remote to change the weather, hug?

3.  Wrote from the heart to uplift others.  (You're reading the results.)

4. Enjoyed several cups of coffee and a few Diet Cokes in the can.  They just taste better in the can.)

5.  Read something fun and uplifting: A book I highly recommend for its secrets of joyful living and 12 tenets of awakening:

I read it today. 

6.  Sat at my new altar, lit the candle and attempted to meditate.

7.  Conversed with my delightful son and told him I'd spring for a haircut if that's something he wants.

Now what can you do today to raise yourself into the Divine Now with joy?  Make them baby steps if  that's easier for you. You can plan your adventures for tomorrow and enjoy researching possibilities tomorrow.  That could bring joy in itself. 

What else?  Can you do something creative?  With children?  Go out with friends or talk on the phone with them?  Dance wildly in your own living room?  Listen to some rock 'n roll cranked up to 10?  Bring order to your desk and/or office?  Pick some flowers or buy some to put around your house?   Get an ice cream cone and not worry about the fat and calories just for today?  Have an old-fashioned char-broiled hamburger for lunch or dinner that you made or found by googling/"Dexing" under "Top 10 hamburgers in St. Paul," or wherever you live?  Eat a banana Popsicle?  Take a scented bubble bath surrounded by lit candles?  Marvel at something that seems ordinary until you do:  a book on your desk, the rug, a bowl, a piece of lint.  Just stare at whatever it is and see it anew and marvel at it. 

I marvelled at a magazine picture I cut out and taped to the wall in my most used sight line.  I thought I hung it up to inspire me to keep losing weight and look as good in jeans as the model in the picture. When I marvelled at it though I really saw it.  It shows a woman with a cup of coffee in one hand and a sledgehammer in the other beaming before a big hole in the wall that showed another room behind it.  I realized I had actually hung up that particular picture not for the tight butt looking good in jeans, but for the contemplated power of taking a sledgehammer to some negative things in my life like my past regrets, the places where I am stuck, my messy house, my inertia...

Only you know what can bring you joy now, no waiting in line, no money necessary if that's a concern.  Get into your kid part of yourself and come up with cool, fun, easy to do things that make you joyful.  Leave me your lists in the comments section and I'll post them tomorrow with your permission.


Joy & Bliss,

MsRefusenik/Maryellen


















































FREE! Free of the Past and All Its Regrets; Free of the Worries That Are Only in The Future


Maybe you're sick of hearing people talk and write about living in the Now.  Let's dissect it one more time.  I hope you will join me in my efforts to stay in the day.  Be here now, sure, but how?
Twelve Step groups like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous teach newcomers to take it a day at a time.  We can't quit drinking forever, so there's no point in thinking or saying, "I'll never drink again."  The same thing applies to quitting drugs forever or any other dis-ease that is result of making something other than the Divine your power greater than yourself to whom you surrender all.  We sought to fill up that always ravenous, parched emptiness inside--the big hole we kept trying to fill with food, sex, drugs, booze, gambling, and so on, but it is, as they say in A.A., a God-shaped hole and only accepting Oneness with the Divine can completely fill that empty space of pain and longing.  What we cannot give up forever, we can abstain from just for a day--five minutes at a time if need be.

Newly sober and clean addicts and alcoholics are an excellent example of people who must dive in and take a crash course in living in the Now.  Their lives depend on staying out of the past and future as much as possible because they are still so close to their using and drinking and relapse may be the direct result of those thoughts.  "Just because you think a thought doesn't mean you have to entertain it," one of my spiritual teachers told me when I was new in recovery.  "You don't have to get out the tablecloth, light the candles and set the table for it."  In learning how to better meditate, hard with my monkey-mind, I try to practice what I have learned from others about just observing a thought that comes unwanted and unbidden as if it were a cloud passing by.  "Thought," the meditating mind might note, and then go back to paying attention to breathing.

One of the cruder things you might hear people share as wisdom at an A.A. or N.A. meeting is this:  "If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you are pissing all over today.  No need to get upset worrying about the wedding you must attend in four months, and whether or not you'll stay clean and sober at the reception.  If it's not today, they learn to let go of it.
 
If newly recovering people, or people who've been clean for a while, or persons without addictions (there must be some out there somewhere),  let their minds get away from this very day, this very hour, this very minute, it might take that long-ingrained habitual lonely trip back to the past with all its embarrassments, losses, shame, remorse and self-hatred. Or it might take a fantasy trip to a future that may never come where all of your worries come true:  You do end up alone, lonely and forsaken.  You do lose someone you love.  Something terrible does happen to one of your children.   So the newly recovering person gradually comes to change their manner of thinking and to let go of the dead past and the uncertain future and live at peace 24 hours at a time.  If they opt to instead dwell on the past or future, they have a good chance of using/drinking, and for them, to go back to that every day hell is to die, literally and suddenly, or just a complete going back to numbness and sickness and dying some every new day. 



I was recently reading a daily reflection/meditation sort of book that gave this exercise as a meditation: "I will meditate on how taking care of myself in the present can help me accept my past.and stop worrying about things and circumstances that aren't today."  I bet if I had the energy and the time to keep a daily log of how often I drift from the living Now to the dead past and worrisome future I would find that I spend a very small percentage of my days living in the present moment.  Yet in the present I have no fears, shame, regrets--none of  it, so why wouldn't I want to be here now constantly?

My mind, and maybe yours, is a bad neighborhood I shouldn't travel through alone.  Self-love, self-esteem and self-confidence are drowned out by flashes of scandalous, humiliating things I've done or said at some time in my life, and it could be when I was just an innocent child who told a lie to her father or stole change from my mother's purse.  Those little failures have grown large and monstrous after all these years of returning to the memories, and I cannot live at peace or love myself when the shame and self-hatred start or the fears begin to trap me and threaten to cause my heart to stop if I don't pay attention to them.

The "Course in Miracles" says that all negative things are the result of fear and that fear is a lack of love.  Get rid of those forays into the future where you are terminally ill and in a state nursing facility where you are drugged and disrespected.  Here's some things I did to rid myself of my everyday fears.  First I admitted I had fears.  That took some honesty because denial tells me that I am easy-going, mellow and go with the flow.  There are times my heart beats out of my chest and I feel I cannot draw in a breath because I have let my fears scare me so completely.   Next, I did a mini-twelth-step program fourth step and took a written inventory of what my primary fears are, why I have them, and what I need to do about each.  The A.A. "Big Book" suggests that we review these fears and ask ourselves, "Where has self-reliance failed me?  If I truly surrender to a power greater than myself, one that I believe loves me madly and forever and knows the number of hairs on my head, and just wants me to live in joy, love and happiness, I will have no fears. Love comes in and does for me what I cannot do for myself. 

Here's some closing affirmations to help you live in the divine and wondrous Now:

**Today I will look at the rules I live by and change them to fit the person I am today.  (Freeing isn't it?)

**I will cultivate and listen to my intuitive self.

**I am learning to flow with the current of life."

**I let go and let God, Love, the Universe... 

It's okay to let go.  You are safe in loving arms.  You are meant to live in joy today.