Painting: The Man On the Bed
Famous in A.A. Program and frequently hung on meeting room walls
It is picture of first two A.A. members in a hospital trying to help number three find sobriety.
It's official. I have the personality and thinking patterns of an alcoholic. I haven't wet my whistle in some time, but I found out today that I fit right in with the other misfit sober drunks in Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.). Doctors and psychologists have described alcoholics as suffering with a superiority complex coupled with an inferiority complexes.. The result is a desperate grandiosity to prove self-worth. We want to show the world we're better than they thought we were, and they didn't think much of us. We want to do big, important things that will give us more than our fair share of fame, wealth, prestige, security and romance. Some of us once wanted to be King of the World. After being sober a while many will settle for prince or princess of the world unless the honesty required to stay sober has taught them some humility.
Take me, for example. I am now willing to give up the notion of writing the greatest American novel everl, and becoming a literary giant. I will "settle" for having a stable of bestsellers and being interviewed on TV by David Letterman and Charlie Rose. Naturally, I hope that the right publications will give my books glowing reviews, and fill my fat head with far-fetched tribute phrases to keep me warm on cold nights. But enough about me for now.
This is a true story of the Pandora's box of wet dreams, greedy, self-important, delusional thinking that some early A.A. members opened after Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) became internationally famous and respected for its ability to get even lost causes sober. A.A. helped restore these early members to a functional place in society, business and family life that they had long given up hope of ever seeing again. They were amazed at this miracle, and some figured there had to be a way to cash in on this great success, especially after Jack Alexander's March 1, 1941 article "Alcoholics Anonymous" (http://www.aa.org/catalog.cfm?origpage=180&product=35)
in the Saturday Evening Post. This very positive article about just how successful the A.A. program was in getting drunks sober became hugely popular. Their was a national and international surge of interest in the A.A. program.
In 1941 A.A. was six years old and there were approximately 2,000 men and women who belonged to it, as compared to the 2,000,000 recovering people in A.A. worldwide today. The article stressed how A.A. seemed to work because one drunk, now sober, helped another. Service was and is the foundation of the fellowship. (Meanwhile, some 70 years later there is new research proving have what makes A.A. work: helping others.)
John D. Rockefeller took an interest in A.A. when it was new and struggling. He did contribute to the group's early support. But Rockefeller stressed to group members the importance of A.A.'s paying their own way, and not looking to be supported in their endeavors by outside contributions A.A. took this advice to heart and created Tradition Seven: "Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions." This tradition, as well as is one of the 12 traditions or principles of A.A. are still followed today.
The A.A. members learned the hard way that they needed Tradition Six: "An A.A. group ought never to endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." Getting back to the Pandora's box that was opened and the results which eventually led to the inclusion of this tradition, all hell broke loose after the Alexander article hit the streets.
At this time there were some 2,000 members, mostly all former falling down drunks and some skid row bums who had achieved sobriety through the program. They were back behind their executive desks, driving their trucks and taxis, waiting on customers and generally succeeding at earning an income. Their families loved them again, and most forgave them, especially as the disease concept of alcoholism became well known. Alexander did point out the theory of some that alcoholism could be compared to having an allergy. An alcoholic had a similar negative reaction to their allergen, alcohol. Or, as the old joke heard around the church basements of A.A. meetings goes, "Yeah, I had an allergy to alcohol. If I drank I would break out. I broke out in bars, clubs, restaurants, at home and even at work."
A great many of these sobered up drunks took A.A.'s new popularity and earned respect to heart. They felt that A.A. could do more for the world than just get a few drunks sober here and there. These recovering people got together and decided that now that A.A. was officially a success it could do more. Why not unleash the full potential of A.A.? They reasoned that they should go into business, and/or finance any enterprise in the field of alcoholism, They felt they had a responsibility to pay it forward cause whose time had come.
Some of the plans they came up with for how to get more deserving folks into the A.A. program were:
1. They would build their own hospital chain. (Don't we have some of those A.A.-based chains today? A.A. itself might not finance or control these hospitals, but a person who went in for rehab would soon learn treatment was the A.A. way or go out and drink again. They are offered no alternatives or choices.)
2. They would educate the public about alcoholism, and rewrite school and medical textbooks.
3. They would gather up the derelicts from Skid Rows, sort them out into groups of those who were losers and didn't have a chance and those they thought could get well. They would make it possible for these chosen few to make their livelihood in a rarefied, if somewhat quarantined, confinement away from all temptation. These new businesses would make large sums of money, and finance other good works for alcoholics.
4. They quite seriously pontificated about changing the laws of the land in line with the view that alcoholics are not bad people, they are sick. This would stop drunks from getting thrown in jails. Judges would parole them into the custody of A.A. members and groups. (This actually is the case, as anyone who has ever received a D.U.I. and been mandated to attend A.A. meetings can tell you.)
5. They further saw themselves branching out into dope addiction and criminality despite the stated and well-known to them "primary principle" of A.A. which was written in the A.A. preamble as, "Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety." Pretty clear to many, but not all, of the recovering people..
6. They reasoned that A.A. could cure anything. Hadn't it turned their own lives around? They would start A.A. groups for the depressives and paranoid mentally ill. . A.A. could handle misfits, crazies, those estranged from society and other misfits the sicker the better to prove the point. They reasoned, by God, if alcoholism could be licked, so could any problem if it used the A.A. program.
7. Some of them envisioned an utopia where laborers and capitalists would love one another.
8. The absolute honesty they must practice to remain sober, might even be applied to those in politics and a clean-up there.
9. They enjoyed their newfound happiness and just knew they could teach others how to get and stay happy.
10. They would endorse products and even take the opportunity to do P.R. for liquor companies that were requesting such representation to show the irresponsible drinker the virtues of moderate drinking. Although most did not touch a drop of alcohol, and none would ever achieve moderate drinking status based on the well-known fact that you can't turn a pickle into a cucumber again, somehow the liquor companies thought they were the people to speak to the irresponsible imbibers. Being endorsed by A.A. and recommended by sober group members would build their company's reputation and esteem in the public's eyes they believed.
Dreams die hard, of course, and it took some very bad experiences to get these early A.A. members, some still a bit mentally and emotionally under the influence, to realize the error of their ways and end the grandiose plans. They knew that the proposed A.A. liquor company reps could well end up drunk, resulting in an undesirable alteration in public opinion. They ended up taking the name of A.A. off halfway houses and clubs where there had been a few too many relapses to continue without tarnishing A.A.'s good reputation. Some members went to Bill Wilson, the co-founder of A.A., and asked about becoming alcoholism counselors in hospitals where they could receive a salary for their experience, strength and hope. In fact, Bill himself had been invited by one hospital to work in this capacity. He had seriously considered it and was excited at the prospect until he realized he could not cash in on his A.A. experience without doing harm to the program. (Many hospital A.A. counselors today don't seem bothered by their consciences though.)
The honesty and humility that these early members of A.A. learned from the 12 steps, brought them to the realization that they were, as the kids say today, tripping with their crazy ideas and plans for A.A. Recovering people didn't flock to become hospital founders or even sobriety counselors, and A.A. remained untarnished by greed and hubris.
A.A. members know they are all one drink or drug away from a total relapse. Their sobriety, they learn in twelve step programs, is contingent on their spiritual condition. The members of A.A. in 1941 finally accepted that they were tripping and that their ideas were based on character defects they needed to have removed. One man who was invited by a distillery to represent the company went to Bill W. and asked if he should do it. It was a case of merely having to hear one's self speak lunacy aloud to another and finally having the lights come on. He didn't do it, of course.
I got a kick from this story of human weaknesses, character defects, greed and extravagant pride because I could relate. I never wanted to be a worker among workers, or a cog in the wheel. I always wanted to be the star of the show and most of the production. In his article, mostly a glowing tribute to A.A. and its members, Alexander felt compelled to mention the general emotional immaturity of the alcoholic until he begins to grow up by working A.A.'s 12 steps.
I wanted to find the cure for cancer, but without taking all the tedious science and medial classes and doing painstaking research. If the truth be told, I most wanted to be a literary lion with a long trail of bestsellers and appearances on David Letterman and Charlie Rose. Writing was hard work though, and I wanted to find an easier way to become a famous, wealthy author that didn't involve so much time and energy, well, writing, for starters. I wanted fame and wealth to come and strike me like a lightening bolt. I thought about the interviews that enterprising reporters would do with my family, friends, former acquaintances and coworkers who all agreed that they just saw that flash of rare brilliance in me and knew I would shine someday. I really liked imagining those interviews and the letters to the editors of book review publications about my early signs of extreme talent.But right now I needed to take a nap.
If I had been an A.A. member in the eaely days, I imagine I would give high-priced speeches on the secrets of finding sobriety despite the fact that I only learned the secret was to surrender when the shards of my life were down around my ankles and I wasn't fit for human companionship. Who wouldn't surrender when it got bad enough? Hitting bottom is a rude, rude wake-up call to either grow up or die.
I would have been chasing that A.A. gravy train though even if I had to do it still half in the bag and thinking pathetic mush.
I would have liked to educate the masses on how alcoholics should be treated in this society. I'd rather teach than be a doer, that's for sure.
The ugly truth of this story is that I did once take that I also wanted to cash in on A.A.'s success by working as a certified substance abuse counselor for ten years. In this capacity I used little of what I learned about Counseling Psychology in graduate school, and mostly answered patient questions about the length of my sobriety, my personal story of losing all and regaining my life, and sharing humorous anecdotes about some of the insane things I did while high. These conversations brought me a decent income and some status, even as the two hats I wore grew heavier and more cumbersome. Finally, I decided I never drank or drugged as bad as most of my patients, and I could afford to have just one drink. That led to my losing everything sobriety had given me. I lost my husband, custody of my children, became homeless, unemployable and ill and lost the hope that I could ever return to the beautiful sober life I had enjoyed for 15 years.
These circa 1941 recovering alcoholics seem not to have had to ride their delusions into relapses, and I imagine that when they looked back at their thinking during that time they could only attribute this fact to the grace of God.
Many hospital treatment programs cash in or seem to on A.A.'s reputation by using their 12 step program as a treatment model and getting all patients, and clients into mandatory meetings as soon as they stop throwing up and shaking after detox. But Alcoholics Anonymous is not responsible for this commercial abuse. A.A. should not be regarded as greedy and money-seeking on this account. They still only get the one dollar or two at most that members put in the basket at meetings to cover literature, and the expenses of keeping the thing going with paid staff workers who are non-A.A. Who or what will next attempt to get rich quick on the 12 steps is only a matter of waiting to see.
I believe I have been restored to sanity and just want to leave this world a little better than I found it and I don't plan on getting any public accolades for doing so.
Showing posts with label Alcoholics Anonymous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alcoholics Anonymous. Show all posts
FREE! Free of the Past and All Its Regrets; Free of the Worries That Are Only in The Future
Maybe you're sick of hearing people talk and write about living in the Now. Let's dissect it one more time. I hope you will join me in my efforts to stay in the day. Be here now, sure, but how?
Twelve Step groups like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous teach newcomers to take it a day at a time. We can't quit drinking forever, so there's no point in thinking or saying, "I'll never drink again." The same thing applies to quitting drugs forever or any other dis-ease that is result of making something other than the Divine your power greater than yourself to whom you surrender all. We sought to fill up that always ravenous, parched emptiness inside--the big hole we kept trying to fill with food, sex, drugs, booze, gambling, and so on, but it is, as they say in A.A., a God-shaped hole and only accepting Oneness with the Divine can completely fill that empty space of pain and longing. What we cannot give up forever, we can abstain from just for a day--five minutes at a time if need be.
Newly sober and clean addicts and alcoholics are an excellent example of people who must dive in and take a crash course in living in the Now. Their lives depend on staying out of the past and future as much as possible because they are still so close to their using and drinking and relapse may be the direct result of those thoughts. "Just because you think a thought doesn't mean you have to entertain it," one of my spiritual teachers told me when I was new in recovery. "You don't have to get out the tablecloth, light the candles and set the table for it." In learning how to better meditate, hard with my monkey-mind, I try to practice what I have learned from others about just observing a thought that comes unwanted and unbidden as if it were a cloud passing by. "Thought," the meditating mind might note, and then go back to paying attention to breathing.
One of the cruder things you might hear people share as wisdom at an A.A. or N.A. meeting is this: "If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you are pissing all over today. No need to get upset worrying about the wedding you must attend in four months, and whether or not you'll stay clean and sober at the reception. If it's not today, they learn to let go of it.
If newly recovering people, or people who've been clean for a while, or persons without addictions (there must be some out there somewhere), let their minds get away from this very day, this very hour, this very minute, it might take that long-ingrained habitual lonely trip back to the past with all its embarrassments, losses, shame, remorse and self-hatred. Or it might take a fantasy trip to a future that may never come where all of your worries come true: You do end up alone, lonely and forsaken. You do lose someone you love. Something terrible does happen to one of your children. So the newly recovering person gradually comes to change their manner of thinking and to let go of the dead past and the uncertain future and live at peace 24 hours at a time. If they opt to instead dwell on the past or future, they have a good chance of using/drinking, and for them, to go back to that every day hell is to die, literally and suddenly, or just a complete going back to numbness and sickness and dying some every new day.
I was recently reading a daily reflection/meditation sort of book that gave this exercise as a meditation: "I will meditate on how taking care of myself in the present can help me accept my past.and stop worrying about things and circumstances that aren't today." I bet if I had the energy and the time to keep a daily log of how often I drift from the living Now to the dead past and worrisome future I would find that I spend a very small percentage of my days living in the present moment. Yet in the present I have no fears, shame, regrets--none of it, so why wouldn't I want to be here now constantly?
My mind, and maybe yours, is a bad neighborhood I shouldn't travel through alone. Self-love, self-esteem and self-confidence are drowned out by flashes of scandalous, humiliating things I've done or said at some time in my life, and it could be when I was just an innocent child who told a lie to her father or stole change from my mother's purse. Those little failures have grown large and monstrous after all these years of returning to the memories, and I cannot live at peace or love myself when the shame and self-hatred start or the fears begin to trap me and threaten to cause my heart to stop if I don't pay attention to them.
The "Course in Miracles" says that all negative things are the result of fear and that fear is a lack of love. Get rid of those forays into the future where you are terminally ill and in a state nursing facility where you are drugged and disrespected. Here's some things I did to rid myself of my everyday fears. First I admitted I had fears. That took some honesty because denial tells me that I am easy-going, mellow and go with the flow. There are times my heart beats out of my chest and I feel I cannot draw in a breath because I have let my fears scare me so completely. Next, I did a mini-twelth-step program fourth step and took a written inventory of what my primary fears are, why I have them, and what I need to do about each. The A.A. "Big Book" suggests that we review these fears and ask ourselves, "Where has self-reliance failed me? If I truly surrender to a power greater than myself, one that I believe loves me madly and forever and knows the number of hairs on my head, and just wants me to live in joy, love and happiness, I will have no fears. Love comes in and does for me what I cannot do for myself.
Here's some closing affirmations to help you live in the divine and wondrous Now:
**Today I will look at the rules I live by and change them to fit the person I am today. (Freeing isn't it?)
**I will cultivate and listen to my intuitive self.
**I am learning to flow with the current of life."
**I let go and let God, Love, the Universe...
It's okay to let go. You are safe in loving arms. You are meant to live in joy today.
CELEBRATE RECOVERY: IT GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS
There is a saying around Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meeting rooms: Your worst day sober is better than your best day high and/or drunk. As long as you are keeping the plug in the jug one day at a time, your sober living will absolutely get better or we will refund your misery. When you first entered the church basements of A.A./N.A. you only knew that you had hit rock bottom. You felt unsure of yourself.
Perhaps you weren't even sure who you really were anymore. You had become a drinking/using machine that only lived to satisfy its cravings for the moment, and then set out to do it all over again. Sober living seemed an impossible dream. Now you have joined with others in the bittersweet, painful process of peeling the onion layers that presently make up who you are. Welcome to sober living. First you have to peel off the user who pretended not to care about what was happening to their life as it fell apart and crumpled around their ankles.
Then you unpeel a layer in which you pretended not to care what you were doing to loved ones with your drinking/using. You let them leave and take the kids. You abandoned them and started a life without them. You disappeared and didn't contact them.
Now you are getting in touch with your feelings for the first time since before you picked up a mood-altering substance, which may put you back emotionally around age 12. As much as it hurts, it's a good thing--a healthy thing. You are coming to know your true self. It's all part of sober living. You are becoming a person who can hold up their head even when it means saying things like, "I'm scared. I'm lonely. I'm lost. I feel overwhelmed. I'm afraid I'll use again.
You decide to do what the program suggests and actually do something that doesn't even sound like anything you'd do: You ask for help. Better even than that, you ask a man or woman whose recovery program you admire to be your sponsor or temporary sponsor. Then you begin telling that person how you really feel on a regular basis. You are more honest with this person than you know how to be with yourself. You didn't think you were capable of honesty any longer, but you open up and get rid of a lot of old garbage you've been carrying around that might lead you to drinking/using again.
You learn that your sponsor really gets you. They understand at a level that only comes from having lived the same things themselves. They seem to intuitively know what the right thing is to suggest or say to you because they listen to the still, small voice within.
The result is that you are having what Oprah likes to call "Ah-ha" moments pretty much every day. You begin to feel as full as wonder as a five-year-old on Christmas morning. You are awestruck by the miracle of a second chance at life and what it means for you. You feel a thing called hope for the first time since you can't remember when. You wake up looking forward to the day ahead not cursing it. As they like to say around AA/NA tables: Instead of saying, "Oh God, it's morning," we say, "It's morning, thank you God."
One day at a time becomes another new day of growth and opportunity. You lose that sense of calendar pages being ripped off and tossed on the ground like some movie montage of time slipping by quickly without accomplishments, growth or change of any positive kind. You are growing and changing each day. The idea of using/drinking again becomes a nightmare to you. In fact, you do have nightmares about it now, and when you awake and realize it's only a dream and you're still clean and sober, you are so grateful and give thanks.
Your relationships begin to improve. Your significant other or spouse and you even start over and try to work things out after they see the change in you is for real this time and not just talk made up to try to manipulate them.
You are meeting people who did not go as far down the rabbit hole of addiction as you did. You are also meeting people who went much further down, and you marvel that they are even alive. Don't compare. There are always those who are better or worse off.
You can't believe how many new friends in the program you now have. You know most of these will be friends for a long, long time if not for life. These are the people who will be standing up for you at important times in your life and being there when it counts the most.
What also astounds you is that you are working regularly and bringing in enough money to support yourself and your family. You feel proud of your daily accomplishments and do the best job you know how to do. Perhaps you go back to school with your vision set on pursuing a dream that you've harbored as a secret fantasy since you were a kid. This is the time in your life when dreams become real. Be sure to dream new dreams, big dreams. They are no longer just grandiose using/drinking fantasies that never bear fruit
You can be proud of the person you have become one day at a time by working the twelve steps and going to A.A./N.A. meetings. If you already have a conscious contact with a power greater than yourself, you are way out ahead in the gift of sober and clean living. If you don't, hang on loosely and don't despair.
Another saying around the tables is that when you can't find your higher power, ask yourself who has moved. Wasn't it really you that moved? Your higher power has been standing with arms outstretched waiting for you to return all the time.
In sober living we get better physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The important thing is that we all make it home to our freed selves together in sober living. Even if you have a hard day at staying sober and clean, you can break that one day into five or ten minute increments and you can hold on. And then one day you're sitting at an A.A./N.A. meeting, and a person newer to the program than you takes a seat. You can feel how nervous they are. You reach out your hand, introduce yourself, and share a little of what it was like for you when you were new. You can see the relief on the visitor's face as they listen. They can't believe someone else understands so well. Maybe you even offer to go out for coffee after the meeting..
You are doing 12th step work. There are many rewards built into 12th step work in sober living and most of them come instantly. You feel good about yourself. You feel like you are a worthwhile individual. You feel like you have an opportunity to give back some of what so many people generously gave to you. They told you to expect that reward in sober living. You give the new person your phone number. Maybe they ask you to be their temporary sponsor. You feel like your flying you are so high on life.
It's called sober living and you earned it. Even better days are coming. Your close relationships, even with your spouse or significant other, are improving. The bills are starting to get paid. You feel better physically and know your body likes sober living and is healing. Your head is beginning to clear. You can even read again. Your kids seem to like you for the first time in a long time. Isn't sober living grand? It's not all going to be smooth sailing. There still will be some rough seas. But you are on your way and you are only getting better from now on. Take heart. Just for today all is well.
Perhaps you weren't even sure who you really were anymore. You had become a drinking/using machine that only lived to satisfy its cravings for the moment, and then set out to do it all over again. Sober living seemed an impossible dream. Now you have joined with others in the bittersweet, painful process of peeling the onion layers that presently make up who you are. Welcome to sober living. First you have to peel off the user who pretended not to care about what was happening to their life as it fell apart and crumpled around their ankles.
Then you unpeel a layer in which you pretended not to care what you were doing to loved ones with your drinking/using. You let them leave and take the kids. You abandoned them and started a life without them. You disappeared and didn't contact them.
Now you are getting in touch with your feelings for the first time since before you picked up a mood-altering substance, which may put you back emotionally around age 12. As much as it hurts, it's a good thing--a healthy thing. You are coming to know your true self. It's all part of sober living. You are becoming a person who can hold up their head even when it means saying things like, "I'm scared. I'm lonely. I'm lost. I feel overwhelmed. I'm afraid I'll use again.
You decide to do what the program suggests and actually do something that doesn't even sound like anything you'd do: You ask for help. Better even than that, you ask a man or woman whose recovery program you admire to be your sponsor or temporary sponsor. Then you begin telling that person how you really feel on a regular basis. You are more honest with this person than you know how to be with yourself. You didn't think you were capable of honesty any longer, but you open up and get rid of a lot of old garbage you've been carrying around that might lead you to drinking/using again.
You learn that your sponsor really gets you. They understand at a level that only comes from having lived the same things themselves. They seem to intuitively know what the right thing is to suggest or say to you because they listen to the still, small voice within.
The result is that you are having what Oprah likes to call "Ah-ha" moments pretty much every day. You begin to feel as full as wonder as a five-year-old on Christmas morning. You are awestruck by the miracle of a second chance at life and what it means for you. You feel a thing called hope for the first time since you can't remember when. You wake up looking forward to the day ahead not cursing it. As they like to say around AA/NA tables: Instead of saying, "Oh God, it's morning," we say, "It's morning, thank you God."
One day at a time becomes another new day of growth and opportunity. You lose that sense of calendar pages being ripped off and tossed on the ground like some movie montage of time slipping by quickly without accomplishments, growth or change of any positive kind. You are growing and changing each day. The idea of using/drinking again becomes a nightmare to you. In fact, you do have nightmares about it now, and when you awake and realize it's only a dream and you're still clean and sober, you are so grateful and give thanks.
Your relationships begin to improve. Your significant other or spouse and you even start over and try to work things out after they see the change in you is for real this time and not just talk made up to try to manipulate them.
You are meeting people who did not go as far down the rabbit hole of addiction as you did. You are also meeting people who went much further down, and you marvel that they are even alive. Don't compare. There are always those who are better or worse off.
You can't believe how many new friends in the program you now have. You know most of these will be friends for a long, long time if not for life. These are the people who will be standing up for you at important times in your life and being there when it counts the most.
What also astounds you is that you are working regularly and bringing in enough money to support yourself and your family. You feel proud of your daily accomplishments and do the best job you know how to do. Perhaps you go back to school with your vision set on pursuing a dream that you've harbored as a secret fantasy since you were a kid. This is the time in your life when dreams become real. Be sure to dream new dreams, big dreams. They are no longer just grandiose using/drinking fantasies that never bear fruit
You can be proud of the person you have become one day at a time by working the twelve steps and going to A.A./N.A. meetings. If you already have a conscious contact with a power greater than yourself, you are way out ahead in the gift of sober and clean living. If you don't, hang on loosely and don't despair.
Another saying around the tables is that when you can't find your higher power, ask yourself who has moved. Wasn't it really you that moved? Your higher power has been standing with arms outstretched waiting for you to return all the time.
In sober living we get better physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The important thing is that we all make it home to our freed selves together in sober living. Even if you have a hard day at staying sober and clean, you can break that one day into five or ten minute increments and you can hold on. And then one day you're sitting at an A.A./N.A. meeting, and a person newer to the program than you takes a seat. You can feel how nervous they are. You reach out your hand, introduce yourself, and share a little of what it was like for you when you were new. You can see the relief on the visitor's face as they listen. They can't believe someone else understands so well. Maybe you even offer to go out for coffee after the meeting..
You are doing 12th step work. There are many rewards built into 12th step work in sober living and most of them come instantly. You feel good about yourself. You feel like you are a worthwhile individual. You feel like you have an opportunity to give back some of what so many people generously gave to you. They told you to expect that reward in sober living. You give the new person your phone number. Maybe they ask you to be their temporary sponsor. You feel like your flying you are so high on life.
It's called sober living and you earned it. Even better days are coming. Your close relationships, even with your spouse or significant other, are improving. The bills are starting to get paid. You feel better physically and know your body likes sober living and is healing. Your head is beginning to clear. You can even read again. Your kids seem to like you for the first time in a long time. Isn't sober living grand? It's not all going to be smooth sailing. There still will be some rough seas. But you are on your way and you are only getting better from now on. Take heart. Just for today all is well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)


