IS GOOGLE SPYING ON YOU, OR IS IT JUST ME? I REALLY DON'T THINK I'M THE ONLY ONE.

It's time to take it to the streets.  Google's invasion of privacy with their Street View and the way they get their spiders moving through your personal websites and even chats was way over the top for a long time.  I started a cause against it on Facebook.  Yeah, I know invasion of privacy and Facebook is where I go to mount my cause.  I'm lazy.  But now they are personally harrassing me and keeping me from getting my writing and other computer tasks done.

Don't any  of you besides me have a selection on your popup menus that reads "Inspect Elements?"  And when you go there you  see all kinds of things to click on like resources, scripts, databases, storage, elements themselves, properties, profiles, and more.  When you click on them the writing below them changes or an entirely new graph pops up.  And there are little boxes on the bottom of the screen that change everything when you click on them.    I know I'm not explaining it too well, but I don't understand the whole code thing, and I do have a code, it's in my Google account, and if you go to red beans and rice book and read the entire code book on subversion, one of their primary codes for collecting information on unsuspecting victims. The problem is that I read it or at least skimmed it (I have ADD and found it boring in its highly technical language) twice, and all I can say is that something is up.

I first came across my computer's "anonymous" numbered entry of coded pages one day about two years ago when I was sniffing down around Adwords or Analytics or some place like that.  I recognized my websites and logins or something.  I am not too clear about that revelation because I was in a state of shock.  Now before I go any further, while you are already thinking something is far more wrong with me than ADD, my computer is also hacked, has been hacked for nearly three years, by the same pitiful ex-programmer.  He likes to follow my every virtual move, take screenshots and files of the websites I visit, and do his best to thwart my being able to complete the simplest computer action from going online to printing to logging in--he puts roadblocks in the way of getting things done. I have quit working as a freelance writer because he sabotaged my jobs, and I have ended up in the hospital due to the stress of it.

I have wasted years of my life collecting information on this guy and I have a lot. I even have his GPS coordinates which show that he doesn't live far from me. He is a 29-year-old ex-programmer who claims to know five languages of code. He is unhappily married and I think he has kids. He turned my Mac into a Server which often happens. That's all he wanted originally.  Then he began to become obsessed with my life and my friends,interests, writing, you name it. I found files he keeps on every single thing he can find out about me.  I am 60 years old and this punk kid is jealous if I write to a man or want to put up pictures of Metallica on my wallpaper. I know about him because he used to show me his writing,his toys (mostly Apple), his blog, his manifesto, and more.  Now we are back to being sworn enemies and he makes my life a living hell.

I have done all I can to get him put behind bars.  The FBI just takes my reports and when I inquire about their status tells me to file a report.  The other agencies and orgs don't do anything unless theirs terrorism, state secrets, big sums of money orchild pornography or sexual preying on children. No one cares about the cracks I fall through.


So as he moves in tp seize my fourth installation of Linux and my second computer, I focus on what I might be able to fight:  Google.  Surely there are others who can't work because of the weird things they do to your computer while spying on you.  For example, I recently was trying to write a simple article for the last freelance writing gig I still have. I was trying to copy and paste all of my research materials on one word processing doc and then write the article on there as well.  The problem was when I hit "paste" everything I have copied for the past week came running out all over the page, and it couldn't be easily deleted either.  You can't simply copy it and then select "delete."  I had to spend hours deleting by backing up one letter at a time with the delete key or risk losing all of my material.   It was like that all day. Things pop up out of the keyboard that are put there as "elements," "scripts," "resources," "profiles," etc. and then you can't get rid of them. It's a terrible mess and you can't get anything done. 





Needless to say I spent the entire day attempting to write one article that normally used to take me two hours.  It never got done and I missed my deadline.  I wanted to start grad school next month, but it's all online and I need a computer I can depend on, and with all the hacking and spying going on, I don't have reliable computing.  

There's so much more to say and facts to bring forth, but it's late and I never catch up to all the work I am behind.  I just wanted to put this out there to find out if there are others.

Hello?

1,005 check back next saturday

"Good Evening brothers and sisters of The Planetary Federation.  I'm Metallogie Q. Sunstrike, and  I have another tragic story to report on the consequences of Internet game addiction. Yes, despite medical advances, it's still the disease that won't go away. 

Two lives were shattered, however, perhaps beyond recovery. These two men have only today learned that they have lost track of over 20 years of their lives while they were busy getting their screen time.

"Yes, today we'll  hear from these two brothers,  victims of one of the most addictive games of the earlier years of this millenium, World of Warcraft, or WoW, or Warcrack as it was called back in the day.

"The drama is playing out now, as family members try to comfort the addicts  as they wait to be picked up by FlashSpeed Cyberaddict Recovery Services to be taken in for detox and rehab treatment. 

"The men are Zoroaster and Zola Chand, of the 3500 block of South Michael Jackson Lane.  They were found wandering half-naked, confused and crying this morning by a neighbor, a Henry Higginsworth.  Mr. Higginsworth found them going from house to house looking for a spare computer to use after both of theirs died around the same time late last night. They were getting hysterical and wailing because they could not play their game.

"Internet game addiction afflicts approximately 40 percent of those who play, the same percentage as before we had the Dopamine inhibitors that stop addiction if taken properly.

"Their fathers losing 20 years in virtual reality must come as quite a shock to their grown children. Sabine, the eldest daughter of Zola, told me all the kids were taking it hard despite having disowned the addicted fathers years ago.

"Together the men have five children.  Zola's are Sabine 20, Rickie-Q 19, and Ernie-Zee 17.  Zoroaster has a son Cliff 19, and a daughter, Zee-Zum, 17."

"These poor kids."  Metallogie shook her extensions mournfully. "Certainly they must be embarrassed today.  We feel deeply for them." 

"Oh here comes Sabine and one of the other ones heading towards us now.

"Sabine, and who is this with you?  Okay, Cliff. What has this nightmare has been like for you kids?"

"My childhood was worse than for someone whose Dad had the decency to leave if he wasn't going to show up and be there for the family. We were stuck with this grinning idiot on the couch who never bathed and stank up the house.  I couldn't stand to see that immobile body that never went anywhere--like to a job to earn some money. No, he left supporting us entirely to my mother.  He couldn't be expected to miss his screen time."

"And how about you, darlin'" Metallogie turned to Sabine.

"Same thing. I don't think my father ever knew how old I was at any time, or what grade I was in, if I was dating, or if I got in trouble...   My mother raised us by herself.  She didn't even try to discuss us with him, because he had no interest in anything but WoW. And that hurt...

"You poor kids..." Metallogie cut her off.  Out of the corner of her eye she saw the brothers, shuffling in the way psychotic people do,but definitely headed her way.   
   
"The brothers have finally made it over here to say a few words now.  Let's begin with you Zola.  I understand you had quite a shock today."

"Yes, I was shocked that my sonofabitchin' computer quit on me and I couldn't get my screen time.  I was going to make the next level today for sure too."

"Wasn't there something else that happened today?  Something about your wife Jonesie?"

"Oh yeah, she left me a note saying she was leaving me.  I was all crying and upset but then one of my kids, maybe it was the girl, Sabine, pointed out that the letter was dated about six years back, so why was I acting like it happened today?

"Today I was going to get to the next level, and then this went and happened.  I'll never buy another computer from Macro-Apple I'll tell you.  Garbage!  Crap!  Just got the thing not long ago too. The warranty better still be good.

"Besides, as far as Jonesie goes, she told me a long time ago that it was over when I told her I didn't want to be bothered with my bedroom husbandly duties.  I couldn't focus on anything but WoW, and it just made me cranky to have to be away from the game that long.  I don't know why it took her so long to leave.  Listen, are they just jackin' me around or is it really 2020?"

"No, Zola it really is 2020.  You've been in virtual reality since the early part of this millenium."

"I'll be damned.  The time flew by."

"Addiction is a thief of everything a person has, and we must bear that in mind," Metallogie intoned ponderously looking into the camera.

"The two emergency workers are here with the men now.  I'm going to see if we can get them to say a few words about their evaluation of the brothers.

"Obviously, both Zola and Zoroaster have not been taking care of themselves physically while living in their virtual world.  They are emaciated, suffering from malnutrition I don't doubt, have untreated bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome, report ongoing acute and chronic migraines, and Zola says that a doctor once told him he had a deep vein thrombosis from sitting so much.  The rest of their medical problems will be determined by physicians at the recovery center.

"I have seen cases where people have lost time before due to Internet game addiction, but never quite as much as 20 years. It will be one tough road back for these two guys, I'm afraid."

"Thank you.  And thank you all for watching and remember this story if you are ever tempted to play Internet video games.  That's it for tonight.  Peace and higher Consciousness, I'm Metallogie Q. Sunstrike."

http://emlynchand.com/2011/01/22/writing-contest-week-1-give-me-1000-words-on-rip-van-video-gamer/

Reminder: Enter the Contest, Two Must Have/Must Reads & Mini-Meditations

I am reading another inspiring book by the author of the book that changed my life by putting me in touch with my life's purpose:  Life's Companion: Journal Writing As A Spiritual Quest.  I can't recommend this book highly enough to anyone who wants to enter the adventure of self-discovery and spiritual insights that is journal writing as Christina Baldwin outlines it.  She learned what her life's purpose was as she wrote this book, and I felt we shared an epiphany.

If you don't journal, start with the exercises in this book.  They are not stupid, silly, superficial or time-wasters like so many journaling prompts you will find on the Internet and in books.  You will get to revelations that normally take years with a spiritual counselor or therapist, and I've compared both.

The more recent book of hers that I am currently reading is Seven Whispers.  (This extraordinary book can be had used for $2.69 today, and Life's Companion for $5. something.)

It's an illuminating book I'm sure.  The subtitle is "A Spiritual Practice for Times Like These."

It really is for times like these too.  I have a problem meditating because of my ADD and distractible monkey mind.  I started the day off badly by skipping over morning journaling for the most part, giving a big "Later" to prayer and meditation and going right to the computer.

My hacker, Dave,  was ready for me and stopped pretty much every action I tried to initiate until I felt like I might  tear my hair out at the very least.  I wanted the peace of mind I normally enjoy in the morning.   I picked up this book remembering an exercise that I had found peace from before.

Since it's not a murder mystery I'll go ahead and tell you what the seven whispers are.   She calls them "seven directions" that came into her mind over a period of months.  She writes, "They are short, memorable phrases that can be recited as prayer and remembered in moments of need.  I think of them as whispers of spiritual connection."

Because Christina Baldwin has already proven herself to me as someone intuitive, spiritually advanced, always growing and intellectually as well as emotionally brilliant, I trust that there will be much wisdom to come in the seven whispers.  They are listed as:

Maintain peace of mind.
Move at the pace of guidance.
Practice certainty of purpose.
Surrender to surprise.
Ask for what you need and offer what you can.
Love the folks in front of you.
Return to the world.

I am anxious to see what is revealed about each.  I am only up to the second one.  Back to my new mini-meditation for "times like these."   I was all jingled-jangled with frayed nerves after hassling for several hours with Dave,  and then I remembered something that helped me in this book.  She wrote about the simple teaching of the Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh.   Here it is, my new borrowed idea of a mini-meditation for those who can't sit still and don't focus too well:

Take one breath to let go, one breath to be here,  and one breath to ask now what?

I really did feel myself letting go, being present and ready to ask now what without reservation.  Try it and let me know how it works for you.  Do it now.  You can do it wherever you are. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The post I wrote about this blog's first contest in was so long I expect no one will ever read it.  I will make that a New Year's resolution:  To write blog posts that are shorter.  I will really work on this, but it may take some getting used to for me.  Let me know when they're still too long.

Let me recap the contest for those who couldn't wade through all that verbiage.

It's a contest about giving up being cool for the sake of becoming authentic as many of us have done.  It is a welcome relief to no longer feel obliged to keep up with the latest music, styles and trends in favor of that old time religion of comfort, genuineness, things that last and have lasting meaning, friendships that go deep and are lasting,  not being ashamed to enjoy the square things in life that we used to be too hip to be seen doing like playing Bingo, rink roller skating, and going dumpster diving for goods like books, clothes and household stuff (I'm working my way up to food).  Maybe that last part is a bit too real for some of you, but I bet you do things too like go to Swamp-A-Rama on Sunday mornings and I hope it's not to pick up eight-tracks or Monkey posters, but, hey, if it is, we want your submission in this contest.  

My brother-in-law who has always had the latest and best music as long as I've known him (45 years) recently confessed that he recently stopped  listening to music because he wasn't getting as much out of it as before.  Reminded me of how pot gave me up by making me paranoid long before I gave it up because I was in a recovery program for alcohol and drugs.  You get older and things change.  I don't wear makeup anymore.  I'm not out to impress anyone and Lord knows I'm not into flirting with another old fart my same age.  It would seem like some sort of weird incest I think.  You  know who you are and you know who that other person is.  There's no mystery, no allure.  How can there be romance. Okay, sisters, start writing me your comments.  My e-mail address is posted on the top of this blog.

Send in a page or two about how that change took place--gradually, radically; how it affected the significant others in your life; what new interests and hobbies came with it; do old friends believe it's still you in there building model airplanes on a Saturday night?  Give plenty of  specific examples of how you have or haven't changed.  If you are a legitimately born and bred cool dude (that's both sexes) like Johnny Depp, Jack Nicholson, Lou Reed,  Patti Smith, Cyndi Lauper or the like then tell us about how that is today,  and you might still win a prize.  If you want to know what the prizes are go back and look at that blog issue please so this post will remain short on logorrhea as promised.

http://emlynchand.com/2011/01/22/writing-contest-week-1-give-me-1000-words-on-rip-van-video-gamer/

"Good Evening brothers and sisters of The Planetary Federation.  I'm Metallogie Q. Sunstrike, and  I have another tragic story to report to you tonight on the consequences of Internet game addiction. Yes, despite medical and scientific advances, it's still the disease that won't go away. 

Fortunately, unlike so many of these stories, no one has had to die yet in this one. Two lives were shattered, however, perhaps beyond recovery. These two men have only today learned that they have lost track of over 20 years of their lives while they were busy getting their screen time, fighting each other, having online adventures, and competing with their enemies in a game without an ending.  Tragic and pointless, no?  Yes, today we'll  hear from these two brothers,  victims of the old crack cocaine-like game  of the earlier years of this millenium, World of Warcraft, WoW,  or Warcrack as it was called back in the day when over 40 percent of the people who played it became addicted to it.

"The drama is still playing out right at this moment as family members try to comfort the addicts  as they wait to be picked up by FlashSpeed Cyberaddict Recovery Services for detox and rehab treatment.  One might expect that after 20 years or more of using, it will be a long detox and rehabilitation period. 

"The men are Zoroaster and Zola Chand, of the 3500 block of South Michael Jackson Lane.  They were found wandering half-naked and confused this morning by a neighbor, who identifies himself as Henry Higginsworth.  Mr. Higginsworth found them going from house to house looking for a spare computer they could use after both of theirs died around the same time.  They were getting hysterical and crying because they could not play WoW.

WoW was once recognized by Guinness Book of World Records as the most popular MMORPG, or massively multiplayer online role-playing game, in videogame history.  Of course this was back in 2010.  Today we have the new record for popularity as well as addiction in the 2019 game, "Fifty Bucks A Month Or You Die," and this despite the fact that we now have medication that can entirely eradicate the addiction if taken before or during playing any competitive game that causes Dopamine to be released into the brain.  What is wrong with people?  Do they choose to become addicts?

"As long as we are talking about Internet addiction history,  our home audience might be interested to know that WoW once had 10 million registered players and only cost fifteen dollars a month to play.  The other game at that time that was equally as addictive, according to social scientists, was Everquest, called Never-Rest for its negative effect on normal sleep cycles.  That game, a granddaddy of the MMORPGs came out as long ago as 1999.

"Internet game addiction afflicts approximately 40 percent of those who play, the same percentage as before we had the Dopamine inhibitors that stop addiction if taken properly.

"Who knew when these two discovered Super Mario Brothers that saving a beautiful princess could lead to a zombie life of degradation, loss and ruin?  And now we're told the brothers, don't know what year it is or acknowledge that 20 years have gone by unnoticed while they were deep into their virtual world.

This, of course, comes as quite a shock to their grown children, Sabine, the eldest daughter of Zola told me,  and she was taking it hard.  Together the men have five children.  Zola's are Sabine 20, Rickie-Q 19, and Ernie-Zee 17.  Zoroaster has a son Cliff 19, and a daughter, Zee, 17."

"We are going to try to get some of these kids to go on camera and talk to us about what they've suffered while growing up and currently.  Certainly they must be embarrassed today.  We feel deeply for them."

"Oh here comes Sabine and one of the other ones heading towards us now.
Sabine, and who is this with you?  Okay, Cliff.  Could you please come on and talk for a few minutes about what this nightmare has been like for you.  I know it had to have affected you for most of your lives."

"Hell and damnation, Lady," Cliff's voice was raised, "My childhood was worse than for someone whose Dad had the decency to leave if he wasn't going to be present and show up for the family. We were stuck with this grinning idiot on the couch pushing his carpal syndromed thumbs like it was going to change the world or something.  I know I couldn't stand looking at his worthless face and that body that never got up and moved around or went anywhere--like maybe to some place where he might earn some money.  No, he left the job of supporting us entirely to my mother.  It was important that he get his screen time, and we were raised to understand that nothing could stop the game or interfere with it."

"And how about you, darlin'" Metallogie turned to Sabin.


"Same thing.  Lights were on but nobody was home. I don't think my father knew what age I was, what grade I was in, if I was dating, if I got in trouble...   My mother raised us by herself.  She didn't bother trying to even discuss us with him, because he had no interest in anything but WoW and he made that clear.  That hurt!"






"You poor kids..." Metallogie began, but out of the corner of her eye she saw the brothers wandering in a mental hospital shuffle way towards her.  Then as if tackling the quarterback, a man leaped on stage and landed spread-eagled.

"Mr. Ned Cassidy, the men's uncle, wants to say a few words, "Yeah, well I'm Ned Cassidy of the 3800 block of Michael Jordan Boulevard over in Let-Us-Rock-You, California.  "It started innocently enough for Zo and Zoro when they were boys and used to spend hours playing paper ball wastebasket basketball.  But they were kids.  You don't think much of it.  I used to have a few Freezies to relax, and bet with my drinking buddies on which boy which make which baskets.  No harm in that.

When they got older it moved up to Beer Pong and  it wasn't long before Guitar Hero was moved over to play the first generation of original Disc Junkie edition of Starcraft."

"Thank you, Mr. Cassidy.  That is helpful."

"Yes, that was the beginning.  I'm Ned Cassidy and that Starcraft or was it Halo was the true beginning of their decline into slavery and madness."   He clearly was on a roll now and meant to get his few minutes of fleeting fame if he had to break the TV personality's arm.     

Metallogie had dealt with his type many times before.  She quickly made the sign to go to commercial, and then punted him off the stage with her boot.  She was back on camera smiling and collected as the commercial ended.

"The neighbor reports being shocked to discover that one of the brothers, the one he describes as having 'large pieces of bagel hanging in his waist-length beard,' mentioned that the computer was purchased new in 2002'  and then, sadly, added that it  was 'only a few years old.'  He said it probably was still under warranty and he planned to have Macro-Apple replace it.   Good luck with that fellows.  Not too many warranties are good for 18 years of non-stop usage.

"But the brothers have finally made it over here to say a few words now.  Let's begin with you Zola.  I understand you had quite a shock today."

"Yes, I was shocked that my sonofabitchin' computer quit on me and I couldn't get my screen time."

"Wasn't there something else that happened today?  Something about your wife Jonesie?"

"Yeah, she left me a note saying she was leaving me.  I was all like crying and upset but then one of my kids, maybe it was Sabin, pointed out that the letter was dated back in 2014 so why am I acting like it happened today?  I have enough problems today.  I was going to get to the next level today, and then this went and happened.  I'll never buy another computer from Macro-Apple I'll tell you.  Garbage.  Just got the thing too.

"Besides, as far as Jonesie goes, she told me a long, long time ago that it was over when I told her I didn't want to be bothered with my sexual husbandly duties.  I couldn't focus on anything but WoW, and it just made me cranky to have to be away from the game that long.  I don't know why it took her so long to leave.  Listen, are they just jackin' me around or is it really 2020? 

"No, Zola it really is 2020.  You've been in virtual reality since the early part of this millenium."

"I'll be damned.  The time flew by."

"Addiction is a thief of everything a person has, and we must bear that in mind.

"The two emergency workers for the FlashSpeed Cyberaddict Recovery Services are here with the men now.  I'm going to see if we can get them to say a few words about their evaluation of the brothers.

"Well as I am sure you can see for yourself, both Zola and Zoroaster have not been taking care of themselves physically while living in their virtual world.  They are emaciated, suffering from malnutrition I don't doubt, have untreated bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome, report ongoing acute and chronic migraines, and Zola says that a doctor once told him he had a deep vein thrombosis from sitting so much.  The rest of their medical problems will be determined by physicians at the recovery center.

"I have seen cases where people have lost time before due to Internet addiction, but never quite as much as 20 years.  True, they don't hold down jobs, but both of them have children who have grown up while they were lost in Cyberville, and their bodies have aged, people close to them such as their parents have died, we've had a world war which they seem to have taken no notice of, and they haven't a clue that there are medications you can take today which prevent Internet game addiction by thwarting the Dopamine elevation if you do go ahead and take the risk of playing anyhow.

"It will be one tough road back for these two guys, I'm afraid."

"Thank you.  Thank you all for watching and remember this story if you are ever tempted to play Internet games.  That's it for tonight.  Peace and Higher Consciousness, I'm Metallogie Q. Sunstrike."

Authentic Self Real Self Or King of Cool: It's This Blog's First Contest

My computer hacker, I call him Dave because "Hacker-Cracker" wasn't always kind or necessary,  sees to it that no e-mail written by me leaves without being given a special signature of:   "Love, Peace Higher Consciousness To All."  It's written in magic blue sparkly fairy dust or some beautiful thing.  When he's pissed he makes me write the entire letter in that paint.  I was trying to send a press release request for submission to the woman in charge of the Chicago Sun-Times and most of the surrounding areas.  It was written in Dave's Blue Period.  Guess what? No Sun-Times press release for me.

Anyhow, I have had several copies of this book, Handbook to Higher Consciousness,  over my long lifetime.  Tonight somewhere on my desktop or e-mail it said "Google" and then the "signature."  There are wonders, signs in everything and synchronicity never sleeps, so I did.  What you see below is the first Google  entry for it which says my signature is taken from that book.

I didn't recognize it.  I wonder if ever read the book cover to cover or just made sure it was on my bookshelves to convince people,  that I  actually was in pursuit of more than a roll in the hay, half a dozen or so cold brews, music to get ripped by, some ups/some  downs, and some pot, and, of course, the pretentious  person's catalyst: someone to impress. 

(Let's take a Bob Dylan moment only because it fits here.  This refrain popped into my brain's songwaves as i wrote the above, "Ah but I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now." (My Back Pages.)

Clean and sober and free of so much pretentious, phony crap. So much of it was just mental masturbation and mental clutter. Here's the authentic stuff now:   I am not a vegan because it's too much work.  I'm planning to become a vegetarian again as soon as I make some chicken Chinese and Thai foods, and maybe eat one more steak to say adieu. 

I'm over my beat-up 60-year-old self today and not out to impress anyone. I never was all that.  I am not by anybody's rating, hip, cool, rad, awesome or whatever the current word for that bridge that separates people so well.

 I attempt meditation for ten minutes a day (on good days) with my monkey mind and my adult attention deficit disorder and it's like sitting on a trampoline full of Sumo Wrestlers battling beneath my feet while I attempt to create Bobbin lace under a magnifying glass.  I smoke, only cigarettes. 'Nough said?   I haven't read the great classic, Moby Dick, and I was an honors English major.  I just don't care for all that nautiful crap.

I may be the only college educated American of a certain age who never got past the first two chapters of M. Scott Peck's The Road Less Traveled and if his latest book about exorcisms is any indication of his inner turmoil and beliefs, count me out reading any  more.  (For M. Scott Peck bashing read this mean-spirited article that pulls no punches.)

I have not read  many, many great works of world literature including the Bible if you include it in that category (you do? really?)  It's just too negative and violent and too many "begets." I am shamed into remorse and genuine sorrow when I think of how much breathtaking poetry is simply lost on me because I lack the connections, and the language and knowledge of poetry to appreciate it properly.

I have a B.A. in English and make simple mistakes in spelling, capitalization, rhetoric, grammar and am guilty of using trite phrases and the latest pop catch phrase worn out before it's a month old.

I make myself sick I am such an intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical slacker.  I don't know what has been on my goals list longer--doing yoga or quitting smoking.  I can say that with God's help I don't drink, or take drugs unless prescribed for me.  Becoming  whole means  I don't stay in bed depressed for days, weeks and months.  I no  longer wish I was a writer because I do write regularl y.   I don't fear letting my grown kids see the real me and I know my kids love me and they know I love them.  I know I am a wiser, more loving parent and more flexible.  I watch far less television.  I read more non-fiction than novels.  I don't hate my parents anymore or  blame them for my mistakes.  I've learned to let go and let God.   You win some.  You lose some.  Why stop and try to put useless pieces together if it's broken.  Leave it in the dead past.  "Let the dead bury the dead."

I never again in this life will be capable of believing that I need to exchange my precious time, creativity and inspiration for a paycheck to buy crap I don't really want or need.  If my work doesn't bring me joy, I'm not going to throw away my hours on it for somebody's idea of what I should be doing with my life.




My God, my Higher Power (H.P.) I know, is large and infinite enough that no has to be excluded due to narrow dogma.  Everything  is inclusive, freeing, joyous, and sacred  in a natural flowing miraculous way.

 My God loves me exactly as I am and this same God loves a murderer, rapist, child pornographer, wife beater and coward exactly as they are because they were created in the image of God and are perfect.  Forgiveness needs to be  the immediate response.  The action must come without even the thought of holding a resentment or, I hope for me  someday without the ruffle of an irritation or annoyance.

I'm building up my way to respond with compassion to all of life just as I respond to love with love most of the time when I am open and trusting.  I want my heart to take the compassionate stance first and always and then to act on it.  The Dalai Lama is one model.  Mother Teresa is another.  There are many great and good compassionate people.

I have a far way to go.  I'm selfish, self-centered, grandiose, full of wants for petty things like fame, money and a good reputation.  I dream of world peace and man's reaching a new stage in evolution in my lifetime.  I also dream of living near the ocean, traveling world wide, and eating out more often.

Oh, you sweet man, Walt Whitman who expressed for us what we all are:  large and containing multitudes.  I, too, contradict myself.  I abhor killing for fur but am considering wearing the mink hat that my friend inherited and then gave to me.  It is warm and it's so funky and unlike me.  Progress not perfection is my goal.

Let's hear about you now.  Please write and tell us--share with us--whether you are cool, hip, rad, awesome, real, authentic, free or whatever the words are today and why or why not.  It's so freeing to let go of more inauthentic clutter and just be the very one you are.

Pretentious things I have done in my prideful life:

One thing I metaphorically did a lot of in the Sixties and Seventies that I don't do anymore:   I might NOT be movin" to Montana to raise dental floss.  (Thanks to Mr. Frank Zappa.)  I might be going to Vermont to study how to be a spiritual, mindful business person, but not because everybody's doing it and I think it would be an amazing thing to do, although I do find it somewhat amazing.  More in future blogs.

1.  Subscribed to the Village Voice as a 15-year-old suburban teenager and didn't understand most of what I read about.

2.  Taken an honors poetry l writer's workshop poetry session taught by a visiting Harvard Professor who awed me and whom, I believed, must know all there was to know about poetry.  But I was so stiff, scared and 'cool' that I did not write one word of poetry the entire quarter, not even the simple exercises he requested as homework, because nothing I could write would be good enough for a class like that with a professor like that and God forbid if the really smart grad students in the workshop mocked me or put me down.  In other words I destroyed the entire experience for myself.  It could have been so damn educational, freeing, joyous, a big step towards getting to know and understand poetry, but I cared more about seeming jejune, naive, untalented, ignorant or stupid.  Sometimes I look back at my wasted years and have to work to forgive myself yet.


MS REFUSENIK'S FIRST ANNUAL NOT MOVIN' TO MONTANA TO RAISE DENTAL FLOSS CONTEST  (Montana Lyrics.)


  But let's make it interesting.  The least inauthentically hip, cool people based on their posts to this blog will win 1st, 2nd and 3rd place prizes directly from my clutter collection. If you can't help it that you are authentically hip or cool, don't worry.  As long as you are yourself you are an eligible winner.  What would I tell Johnny Depp to write or Jack Nicholson.  You may be a Cyndi Lauper or a Patti Smith, and no one is going to expect you to act like anyone other than hip, cool, fabulous you,.

Don't get too excited about the prizes.  I am a person living on a fixed income so they will be things like my unopened  back issues of the Reader's Digest, or a handmade collage made by yours truly of all the unhip things that make life a celebration when we're authentic,  like bluegrass music, popcorn dripping with real butter, reruns of The Andy Griffith Show or Mr. Rogers--wait, wait.  I have to focus on unhip things I can produce as prizes.

First prize then will be my entire carefully collected collection of ...  care to guess?  Hint:  Not old Rolling Stone Magazines, not old "LSD not LBJ" type political buttons, though your getting warm, one last guess---a how to guide on sending yourself off with a green funeral?  No, I'd use it if I had one and I wish I did.

First prize = my entire thrift store and garage sale button collection.  Buddy, some of these buttons are very unique.  You don't see ones like these every day. Use them in your art or is that so funky it could be considered cool?  That's authentic.  I just thought of it again now that I am giving them away, having procrastinated and never used them in my art.  There's lots you can do with them really.  Some  are so special I planned to remove every button from clothing items like denim blouses and replace them with tiny little boats or some bit of whimsey from the 1940's/1950's.

Second Prize = Tapes (Cassette, not 8-track) of music and spiritual talks we couldn't appreciate when we were cool and had to keep up with the popular music that everyone listened to. Leave the selection to me or maybe I'll print a list and we can vote on the best ones.  Examples from my L-7 but sort of new agey collection are most of the tapes of Marianne Williamson, Course in Miracles principles, P.M.Dawn (most Soulful of HipHoppers and the Bliss Album), Drew Carey Dirty Jokes and Beer: Stories of the Unrefined and Learn to Relax: Self Hypnosis and many more.  We'll vote.


Third prize is a book or two.  I have lots of books for the authentic person.  I'll publish some titles and you can chose.  Or you can give me a list of interests and I'll try and match them.

So send in a couple or so double spaced pages about all the ways you are more free, less pretentious, more laid back and more at peace since you traded in your cool stuff for sacred space.  Why you are an authentic old square today and how it feels.  Give plenty of examples. How have your values changed?  How did continuing to grow spiritually change your personality and lifestyle?

I hope you'll send pictures and testimonials from spouses, significant others, friends and children, but if you want to remain anonymous that's fine too.  I get a lot of blog comments from Anonymous.  Some are pithy and have some substance, but one Anonymous just writes spam about viagra and growing your penis to new lengths the size of football fields or something.  Do cool men want that?  Penises that collide with their toes when they walk?  I don't get it myself.

I have some awesome surprises for you in the next few weeks.  These things really are awesome, but I should fine myself $5.00 every time I use that overused trite word that has come to signify something teens think is cool.  What other words can we use?  Let's rescue our language of joy, bliss, wonder and awe.  I love the word wonder.  I feel so in touch with the child still within me when I can spend a few days wondering or even five minutes.  I will be providing some things to make you wonder.

Send in your language suggestions or comments here.


Authentic Selves Vs. "Might Be Movin' To Montana To Raise Some Dental Floss" Contest ends Feb. 7, 2011.  More about additional judges later.
 ******************************************************************************************************

1

 sky within, by Cternetea
 Photography Macro Nature
 Deviant Art
***************************************************************************************************************


Finally, here's what I Googled from my signature.  It must be meant for one or all of you.   It fits nicely here naturally.  Oh sweet sacred serendipity.

Send contest entries to:  missmarymac0040@sbcglobal.net by midnight Feb 7.

*************************************************************************************************************

The following is from the higher consciousness classic,
Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes, Jr. 
        which explains the Living Love system to higher consciousness.  
        
        
                    T H E   T W E L V E   P A T H W A Y S
                      To the Higher Consciousness Planes 
                      of Unconditional Love and Oneness

        FREEING MYSELF

         1. I am freeing myself from security, sensation, and power
            addictions that make me try to forcefully control situations
            in my life, and thus destroy my serenity and keep me from
            loving myself and others. 

         2. I am discovering how my consciousness-dominating  
            addictions create my illusory version of the changing world 
            of people and situations around me. 

         3. I welcome the opportunity (even if painful) that my
            minute-to-minute experience offers me to become aware of the
            addictions I must reprogram to be liberated from my robot-like
            emotional patterns. 

        BEING HERE NOW

         4. l always remember that I have everything I need to enioy my
            here and now -- unless I am letting my consciousness be 
            dominated by demands and expectations based on the dead past 
            or the imagined future.  
             
         5. I take full responsibility here and now for everything I 
            experience, for it is my own programming that creates my 
            actions and also influences the reactions of people around 
            me. 

         6. I accept myself completely here and now and consciously
            experience everything I feel, think, say, and do (including 
            my emotion-backed addictions) as a necessary part of my 
            growth into higher consciousness. 

        INTERACTING WITH OTHERS

         7. I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to
            fully communicate my deepest feelings, since hiding in any
            degree keeps me stuck in my illusion of separateness from 
            other people.  
        
         8. I feel with loving compassion the problems of others without 
            getting caught up emotionally in their predicaments that
            are offering them messages they need ior their growth.  
        
         9. I act freely when I am tuned in, centered, and loving, but 
            if possible I avoid acting when I am emotionally upset and 
            depriving myself of the wisdom that flows from love and 
            expanded consciousness. 

        DISCOVERING MY CONSCIOUS-AWARENESS

        10. I am continually calming the restless scanning of my 
            rational mind in order to perceive the finer energies that 
            enable me to unitively merge with everything around me.  
            
        11. I am constantly aware of which of the Seven Centers of 
            Consciousness I am using, and I feel my energy, 
            perceptiveness, love and inner peace growing as I open all 
            of the Centers of Consciousness. 

        12. I am perceiving everyone, including myself, as an awakening
            being who is here to claim his or her birthright to the 
            higher consciousness planes of unconditional love and oneness. 

        ****************************************************************
         The following is from a classic of the higher consciousness
        frontier: The Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes,
        Jr. which explains the Living Love system to higher
        consciousness. 


                       THE SEVEN CENTERS OF CONSCIOUSNESS
         
        1. THE SECURITY CENTER.  
        This Center makes you preoccupied with food, shelter, or
        whatever you equate with your personal security.  This
        programming forces your consciousness to be dominated by your
        continuous battle to get "enough" from the world in order to
        feel secure. 

        2. THE SENSATION CENTER.  
        This Center is concerned with finding happiness in life by
        providing yourself with more and better pleasurable sensations
        and activities.  For many people, sex is the most appealing of
        all sensations.  Other addictive sensations may include the
        sound of music, the taste of food, etc. 

        3. THE POWER CENTER.  
        When your consciousness is focused on this Center, you are
        concerned with dominating people and situations and increasing
        your prestige, wealth, and pride -- in addition to thousands of
        more subtle forms of hierarchy, manipulation, and control. 

        4. THE LOVE CENTER.  
        At this Center you are transcending subject-object relationships
        and are learning to see the world with the feelings and
        harmonies of flowing acceptance.  You see yourself in everyone
        -- and everyone in yourself.  You feel compassion for the
        suffering of those caught in the dramas of security, sensation,
        and power.  You are beginning to love and accept everyone
        unconditionally -- even yourself. 

        5. THE CORNUCOPIA CENTER.  
        When your consciousness is illuminated by this Center, you
        experience the friendliness of the world you are creating.  You
        begin to realize that you've always lived in a perfect world. 
        To the degree that you still have addictions, the perfection
        lies in giving you the experience you need to get free of your
        emotion-backed demands.  As you reprogram your addictions, the
        perfection will be experienced as a continuous enjoyment of the
        here and now in your life.  As you become more loving and
        accepting, the world becomes a "horn of plenty" that gives you
        more than you need to be happy. 

        6. THE CONSClOUS

WHY EVERY FREELANCE WRITER SHOULD BE READING THIS BLOG.

MsRefusenik is going back to the roots of her Tell All Blog today and talking about writing, particularly about a resource for freelance writers that they absolutely must have now.  Excuse me if I sound overly
enthusiastic, but I am so excited by this finding I feel like getting back to some serious freelance writing myself.  I have been out of the bid wars for a while working on social services interests, but that rush for a gig worth doing is always there.

You know there are so many good blogs and websites for writers it is overwhelming to try to choose a few to read regularly.  I started collecting bookmarks on freelance writing blogs and there were quickly so many that I didn't pay attention to any of them, to be honest.

Finally, in the past few days, I have found one shining blog that is so far above the rest in terms of quality, real substance, line for line resources you need and can readily use and ideas enough to soar on for months, that I must tell the world about it.

The world already knows about it apparently.  It was only me in my bat cave who didn't know about this winner of the top top ten blogs for writers' winner.  I only found out about the contest after already being a huge fan of the blog and seeing it somewhere.  It certainly deserves that distinction and many more

Unlike so many blogs for freelancers, this one is not guilty of running all the standard posts you normally find on how to make more money, writing the perfect query, breaking into print magazines, how to market yourself, etc.  Nor does it address the original posts it does cover from fresh perspectives in ways we have read before and heard until we are sick of them.  And, what I appreciate most, it is not a Cliff's Notes but the novel itself.  There is meat on its bones.

Let me give you some examples of the kind of high priced spread that Carol Tice's  Make A Living Writing is.  When you subscribe,  which is somehow unbelievably free for all that you get, you get a free copy of a report that is easily worth paying big bucks for: 40 Ways To Market Your Writing.  This well-researched, life experienced based treasure has so much more than the average e-book or article on the topic it deserves a Pulitzer.  I plan to use my copy on a daily basis from now on.  In fact, I just was away from this paragraph for about an hour and one-half because I fell into the report while looking for all the good things to tell you that it has.  She tells you what should be on a business card and then recommends the company that she uses for hers.  I went to look at their cards and they have the most beautiful spiritually themed cards (not too holy roller) for a reasonable amount.  Then I had to open a new business e-mail address to put on the card.  Just trust me. You will find things in this 40 Ways that you don't come across all the time--some lists and web addresses that are of major importance for marketing that I never knew existed are on it.

Carol Tice, the woman who uses her own life experience to write this wonderful blog,

Saying Yes To The Universe In So Many Ways Including Support Groups

This is from my e-mailed  Daily OM*  which I really love and appreciate most days.  It is about the power of Yes which I want to talk about in terms of my new support group which met for the first time last evening.

"The hardest thing about saying yes to the universe is that it means accepting everything life puts in front of us. Most of us have a habit of going through our days saying no to the things we don’t like and yes to the things we do, and yet, everything we encounter is our life. We may be afraid that if we say yes to the things we don’t like, we will be stuck with them forever, but really, it is only through acknowledging the existence of what’s not working for us that we can begin the process of change. So saying yes doesn’t mean indiscriminately accepting things that don’t work for us. It means conversing with the universe, and starting the conversation with a very powerful word — yes.

When we say yes to the universe, we enter into a state of trust that whatever our situation is, we can work with it. We express confidence in ourselves, and the universe, and we also express a willingness to learn from whatever comes our way, rather than running and hiding when we don’t like what we see. The question we might ask ourselves is what it will take for us to get to the point of saying yes. For some of us, it takes coming up against something we can’t ignore, escape, or deny, and so we are left no choice but to say yes. For others, it just seems a natural progression of events that leads us to making the decision to say yes to life.

The first step to saying yes is realizing that in the end it is so much easier than the alternative. Once we understand this, we can begin examining the moments when we resist what is happening, and experiment with occasionally saying yes instead. It might be scary at first, and even painful at times, but if we continue to say yes to every moment through the process, we will discover the joy of being in a positive conversation with a force much bigger than ourselves."


______________


You can subscribe e-mailed Daily Om messages like this one at no charge.   Register  here

They also offer about 40 spiritual growth, self-improvement, alternative health and personal growth online courses that come weekly as web pages most with accompanying audio tapes.  These courses are nearly all for a voluntary donation of $1-$25.  Take a look at their offerings and you're bound to find something.  I sign up for so many I forget to keep up, but it's okay because they keep them posted for a long time and you can go back. Most or maybe all courses have online discussion and e-mail forum sessions as well.  I recommend them highly.  Go take a look if you're like me and have to know this minute,  but you have to promise (please) to come back and read about the first meeting of the support group I started for adult attention deficit disorder.

Yeah, so the main reason I have been such such a slacker blogge on here is because I have been spending so much time trying to start a support group in my area for people with adult attention deficit disorder  (ADD or AD//HD).  It has taken me months, but I did it by the grace of God and it is all open to anyone who thinks they may have the disease for free.  All those kids with ADD/ADHD don't outgrow it.  They grow up and instead of having problems with learning disabilities, behavior, school rules, acting out inappropriately, etc. they have problems telling bosses what they can do with their jobs and their rules (lots of unemployment).  Instead of being distracted by a passing garbage truck during math class and having the teacher yell at them, now they are distracted by passing sports cars while their date or spouse is sharing something very important to them.  (They have more than their share of dating problems, relationship problems, divorces, etc.). They are still impulsive only now they don't go play hookey from school with some kid they met while waiting for the bus.  Now they decide to soften the blow of having been fired again so they stop on the way home and buy a in-home theater complete with all the speakers and techno toys any movie lover would lust after for thousands of dollars on the credit card.  


There are approximately 15 million Americans today with this neurobiological imbalance.  It seems to be genetic but even the exact causes aren't fully known yet.  Since I have had ADD all my life and been treated for it the past ten years I wanted to get involved more in my own recovery and in helping others to recover.  


Well let me tell you I was thrilled that eight warm, encouraging, open and enthusiastic people showed up and said that not only do they intend to keep coming every week, they want to pass out fliers and let more people know about it.  I feel like all the work and time was worth it.


If you want to learn more about our group because you're wondering if you have ADD, check out our website and Twitter account, SteadyRecovery.  The group is:  Journey To Joyful Wholeness: Recovery From AD/HD.  The website is at: http://journeytojoyfulwholeness.blogspot.com/.


There's a lot more information there that I won't bore you with here.  


I know I lost lots of readers when I stopped blogging regularly, but I just couldn't do it all and I knew this was important too.  Now I can let other people take over  some of the responsibilities, and go back to my regular life.  Thanks to any readers who hung with me.


How are those contest entries coming?  If you don't like to write, send me a note by e-mail and I'll make arrangements so you can send me a tape, CD, drawing, collage, action figure, avatar, clay model, fingerpainting, or wherever inspiration leads you to create.





Dare to Change: If Change Is Warranted.

"Dare to change.  All true things must change, and only that which changes remains true." --Nietzsche

I was mindful a while today and learned my theme for this portion of the day was change.  Synchronicity reinforced it with as excellent an article on the topic as you could ever hope to come across in your e-mail.  I will link to it at the end of this post.   Do you think I want you scampering off and not reading my blog post, which I promise to work my best to write?

It started I think with a collage I made for my son Eric who turned 21 yesterday.  I had had the idea several weeks back that I would like to make him a collage, and include lots of his sterling positive traits. I think he needs to work on building self-esteem.  (The whole thing may have backfired when he told me after receiving it that having someone work to build your ego up gives you low self-esteem.  I knew what he was saying.)

But I wasn't aware of this bit of psychology yet, and spent his birthday afternoon making this tribute collage, and serendipity was my friend because the dumb stick-on letters didn't include enough vowels,  so I ended up cutting the positive qualities out of  magazines (I recommend O for plenty of warm fuzzy and descriptive qualities).  He is currently exploring reflexology and I found "body wise" which I thought apt. I also discovered:   lures butterflies, genius for sensitivity, sheer genius, supernova. forgiving, fresh (in big colorful letters), not your average joe, edgy and peppery and sweet (which if you knew him you would agree fits).  

My adult attention deficit disorder negative traits had me leave a huge mess scattered all over the living room floor of cuttings, gluey paper towels, ripped up magazines, family photos and rejected magazine pages.  Eric had just cleared a path in that space the previous day and happened to mention that.  I set about picking up my mess without resentment, although as a disorganized, lazy, chaos dweller who lives with incomplete tasks as a rule, I still found it a boring and rude time-waster.

Then I needed a new box for my family photos because the old one had fallen apart.  I looked and looked but there was no recourse but to empty one of the many filled boxes  stashed with paper clutter still collecting dust and pop cans from weeks ago.  That's when I gave my bedroom to my son and moved all my crap out in less than two hours by shoveling it into boxes.  Naturally, since I am the uncontested Queen of Chaos and Disorder, the box could have been labeled "Miscellaneous Mystery Paper Clutter--Some Vitally Important, Some Sheer Paper Clutter Junk--Gathered Anywhere From Ages 12 through 60."  

So, leaving a small unsorted pile of clutter papers, I decided I had had enough and it was time to go play on the computer. But something nagged at me. I was leaving another mess just as large and scandalous for Eric to forage his way over as before. I decided I needed to journal and have a cup of coffee, and then for sure I'd go back to it. Odds on that by those who know me well were about 20/80 because, as some of you know, everything that happens under the sun is apparently under the 20/80 rule, also known as the Pareto principle, aka the law of the vital few, aka the principle of factor sparsity. This rule states, quite brazenly and without discernible cause if you ask me, that for many events about 80 percent of the effects come from 20 percent of the causes. Some carny huckster invented the rule of science, I'm betting on it. It is pure shuck and jive.  (Freelance writers learn some weird-ass stuff.)

I got my coffee and started to do some of the stack of new journaling exercises I had found.   The first one was titled, "What I really need in my life now is more..."

It didn't say it was a journaling exercise, but it sure worked well as one. I don't make New Year's resolutions.  I used to always break them so I don't trust them.  Besides if I see "Quit Smoking" on that list one more year, I may just take up smoking hash every day all day to spite myself.

I do set goals. I have also written down a sort of outcomes wanted list and sealed it in an envelope with the date on it.   Then I tossed it in the bottom drawer of my desk. What do you know but when I opened that sucker a year or so later most of those intentions have been fulfilled into real actions and accomplishments by osmosis or some other psychic phenomenon I can't pretend to understand--maybe maybe the 80/20 rule, because, come to think of it, about 80 percent were fait accompli. I tried this no effort method for several years, and every year I could check off nearly all (except 20 percent) of the intended desires for change or action.

In case you want to do this in the home audience, here are some of the words:

*accomplishments
*activity
*health
*strength
*energy
*fitness
*nutrition
*self-control
*confidence
*opportunities
*variety
*structure
*romance
*intimacy
*imagination
*money
*education
*freedom
*understanding
*sensitivity
*tenderness
*generosity
*laughter
*support
*self-expression
*companionship
*harmony
*beauty
*centering
*awareness
*solitude
*devotion
*contemplation
*serenity
*trust
*joy
*commitment
*forgiveness
*surrender
*faith
*purpose

Now I hope you did more than circle them. Write notes to yourself as to exactly what you need to change and how to get more of it into your life.

I'll tell you a few of mine. This is when I began to realize change was in the wind as surely as if the winter solstice and lunar eclipse had both phoned me of their arrivals and departures, and the rest of the world quitting smoking, going on a fad diet, and trying to cut down on drinking, which never works.

I could see I really needed to make some changes. My idea of a day's structure was to sleep and sit at computer. That's it:  Two daily activities unless you count bathroom trips.  As far as my joy register goes, I haven't experienced that kindly friend since I lost my solitude when Eric moved in.  I truly am meant to be a loner, but I try.  I realized I lost not just solitude but, in my mind a host of things that go with it--contemplation, harmony, opportunities (I didn't write any more, I didn't blog). My accomplishments were down to ashes in the cold fireplace.  My nutrition was an apple fritter a day chased down with chocolate covered Oreos, and  I recommend you stay away from those cookies if you, too, have an addictive nature. Worse, I had stopped going on the "Artist's Dates" recommended by Julia Cameron in several of her books on creativity, especially
(BTW, you can get a used copy of this book that doesn't add "spiritual practice" onto the title for less than four bucks in paperback copies, but this is a very nice book.)

 Julia recommends that to stay fresh, writers, painters, dancers--all artists--need to take themselves off by themselves on what she calls artist's dates. (They can be free or low cost so don't use money as an excuse not to do it.)  They are basically field trips to get you away from the computer,  blowtorch or what have you, and have you get out and be alone with get inspired,  and remember exactly who you are,  and how you view things.  When is the last time you saw something beautiful, captivating or exquisite up close and personal?

Make a list of places to visit/things to do that  you always meant to get around to,  but never quite made it or haven't in a long time. Or go on an adventure and let your wild spirit lead you to tour an unknown, interesting boho or ethnic neighborhood. Be really unfettered and alive and dine at an ethnic restaurant where the food from that particular country is something you've never tasted before, they don't use silverware,  or speak any English, nor have anything on the menu translated so you don't know if you're eating hippopotamus testicles or snake stomachs. Catch yourself by surprise by doing something uncharacteristic like going cosmic bowling. Go on a one-day spiritual retreat. Attend a lecture on something your intrigued with,  but know nothing about except for one article you once saw in Utne Reader.   Go to a book signing by an author you've never read because you like the cover and the brief quotes on the back.    Be very brave, brave as jumping out of a plane, and go tryout for a local theater production.  That should get you started.

So I now know a few things I have to change. I have to make room for solitude, and stop pretending that just because someone else lives here I can't be caught praying, meditating, contemplating, doing my daily spiritual reading, writing daily (my novel would a good place to start), blogging daily, getting out and taking a walk, and for crying out loud,  find something to do besides sleep and sit at the computer all day.  And I have to go back and pick up the messes I make without being begged to do it.  I changed. 

Okay, now here's a great article on change written by Phillip Moffitt.  
The author has studied Raja Meditation since 1972 and Vipassana Meditation since 1983.  The article gives the three questions you need to ask yourself before making a change.  Very mindful stuff.  It also gives the Buddha's  five qualities or spiritual faculties that can be a great help in making changes.