1. Toska
Russian – Vladmir Nabokov describes it best: “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of soul,a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.”If you liked those, here's 20 more awesomely untranslatable words from around the world.
We can always get back to what I learned tonight, but I do want to tell you my great new word. If you already know this word like you know the words ignorant, unread, stupid, uninformed, forgive me. I went to a state school. This brilliant black opal of a word is: MISONEISM. I don't know how I struggled through this world this long without it, and you really do need to invent a word like it if it didn't exist. It means a deep and unreasoning fear and hatred of the new, especially of new ideas; a deep and superstitious fear of novelty. We are plagued with misoneism in this society. It's a wonder the wheel was invented, and I never knew of this word before. God bless Carl Jung for sharing yet another important finding.
You wouldn't believe what I had to go through to get those two links for you. I am on a different operating system than when I started these 1,000 words. Something is wrong with Linux's Wary Puppy Live CD. I think it definitely has the mange and it might be rapid. It keeps taking me to the backs of these closets where there is nothing, and dumping me there to figure out a way out. The damn Sea Monkey can't stay open on a web page without getting a cramp that makes it suddenly close. It's a nightmare I tell you. And don't even get me started about my Windows XP with its dueling Internet Explorer and Google Chrome browsers that both pop up so they can try to take over, although I will say Chrome has more manners in this regard than I.E. So I'm back home on Knoppix, but it's not the old Knoppix 6.2; this is 6.4 and it's flashy with it's fractal art on the landing page and it works, so far, like a well-oiled bicycle chain, something I rarely get to experience because I'm a lazy fuck.
Oh so much for computers and their headaches. It started off being a great night. I am reading this fantastic book I got from the library about keeping your dream alive and what you need to do to make it happen. It's not a bunch of the usual doggerel--it's really mindfully written and it speaks to me. I was wishing I didn't have to take it back to the library, when synchronicity stepped in and I found where I could download a free copy. I'll give you a couple of quotes from it and you can decide if you would like a copy too.
The author, Susanne Falter-Barns, hopes that people will use the book, "how much joy can you stand?" to start joy clubs where friends spur each other's dreams on and celebrate together when they happen. The book, she says, are short essays meant to pick up any flagging enthusiasm. And, I'll tell you, the book gets me dreaming like I'm 20 years old and just graduated from college, and have inherited a million bucks to do whatever i like. She makes it all seem within grasp. She helped me get in touch with my personal power that I am forever pretending not to have because what would people think if I became the mouse that roared and everything was not hunky dory. I would have to roar and take my power and use it to take control of my life situation and make sure that it worked for me. Because I am tired of being nice and waiting for the world to notice that I NEED A BREAK. I am not going to get a hand up from somebody who takes pity on my poverty and various disorders and diseases that I use as excuses to not further myself to where I want to be. I need to get up off my lazy, procrastinating butt and take charge.
One way I am doing this is by learning to trust my intuition. I get good intuitive messages and I immediately rationalize them as worthless or just old tapes or any excuse not to pay attention to them. From now on I am paying attention. I am reading an excellent book on how to do it by Shakti Gawain ("Creative Visualization"). It's titled "Developing Intuition: Practical Guidelines for Daily Life." It is a super book and right on the mark. I am right now on the chapter that talks about how to tell your inner wisdom intuitive messages from other voices and other selves. Today I listed, at Shakti's suggestion, my fears that keep me from taking the risks of following my intuitive messages.
If I had followed my intuition recently and put my bike in the house when I saw somebody had unlocked it and moved it, I'd still have a bicycle. Now I have divine inspiration, I believe, to write a book that has never been written. If I don't listen to my gut feelings on this and let this opportunity pass me by, it will be a real shame. I am going to breathe life into this dream and some other dreams I have about contributing to the world.
Which brings me back to sharing some of "how much joy" with you. She says you need to stick to your dream and have a "fire in the belly." Here, I'll let her tell you: "The fire in your belly comes only when you're willing to work at your dream for no good reason. You don't pursue the dream because you'll be famous someday, because the work is going to make you rich, or because it will make for better cocktail banter. You design, teach, invent or serve because this is what you are meant to do. Getting the fire in the belly means simply surrendering to the truth." (pp.20-21).
I have frequently written in this blog about finding your purpose in life, your soul's mission that you came here to fulfill. This book is a how-to-do-it on that It's not about establishing a platform or a brand or how to successfully market via e-mail, it's about how to make damn sure you get to do what you were born to do.
We know what our talents are, unless we've really been stomped into the ground, and then we need help getting up and recognizing them. Everybody has talents as great as the greatest artists, composers, scientists, and saints. We just listened too well to critics who told us we were shy of the mark, even when they were our own parents we listened and believed that we weren't as good at something as we believed we were. We lost so much joy in being able to practice that gift in our lives. Now it's time to claim it, rename it and make it yours for life.
Here's the exercise at the end of chapter, and I love these. She titles them simply, "Try this," and I do them in my morning pages or journal. Here's the "Try this," for this:
"You have three minutes. Make a list of everything that you are truly passionate about. Include anything you can think of, from eating imported chocolate to having great sex to fly-fishing on the Snake River. Then think about what characterizes those experiences. Do you go into a trance and lose track of time? Does the experience leave you feeling like a better, stronger person? How often do you let these passions into your life? Are there any you need to pursue now? Keep this list and return to it whenever you feel the need to stoke your fire." (p.21)
There's really too much for me to type that is great about this book. She is helping me put flesh on my dreams and I thank her. If you want a free copy of this beautiful, inspiring book, go here.
And I am going to go check and see if that's 1,000 words, because I have dreams to stoke and I need to be working at them, following my intuitive messages, of course.
That is 1,735, and I am out of here. I hope I gave you something you could use.
