MY THANKSGIVING

"You know some mothers drink. It could be worse," I told my petulant 22-year-old daughter as she was driving me home, at her instigation, from what has to be called a lackluster performance at my brother's for Thanksgiving dinner. "I wish you did drink. At least you'd be awake. You'd be participating. It would be better" was her response. I don't mean to be a miserable old sot that embarrasses her children on social occasions. I do try not to dribble down my front as my heavy chin hangs down the front of my blouse. And I know I do that stir-crazy move. You know the one--the nodding person suddenly realizes she's asleep, shakes and stirs herself completely, sits a bit more upright, and goes right off into another nod. I am a miserable old mother. My vice? I write. I write all night long night after night, and then when holidays happen, and I must go out during the day among the living, I get caught in the glare of everyday reality. I am a writing junkie who just can't say "when". Okay I can try and say "when". But I know I'll do it again. I'm an addict. I'd rather write than sleep or even eat for that matter. Anyone who's been there can tell you it's useless to attempt questions to ease back into the conversation. They know you've been sitting there nodding off and they don't feel like helping. They just laugh at the ridiculousness of your question. "Why were the children baking their underwear?" "Go back to sleep, Mom." Laughter. "I'm sorry," I say now. "No you're not. You'll just do it again. You'll say you won't but you will." She knows me too well this daughter of mine. And I know her. And then it hits me why she's really pissed. She had a big job interview Tuesday. She tried to call and tell me about it and I didn't pick up. I hate the phone. I let the machine take the calls. If i don't hear my kids' voices, I don't bother going over to the phone. She called and didn't speak just so she could be the victim. The brat. I had thought the interview was Wednesday and when I did end up calling her a day late I caught some hell about not being there for her the day before. I've looked and the closest self-help group I can find online (of course, ) is Internet addicts. But that doesn't quite cover it. If I didn't have my Mac I suppose I'd be shaking out my wrist at three in the morning as I turned the pages of my spiral notebook, writing as furiously as I could. Do I have to go live in Las Vegas to be among my fellow time travelers of the night? I think all the noise and action would interfere with my concentration. If nothing else, the heat would keep me from writing. Oh, let me tell you though, my family and friends all have one answer to my problem and it's the same for all of them: Go to bed earlier and keep regular hours. Don't make me laugh. The writing genie only comes out to play at night. Who can concentrate with the neighbors listening to their televisions as though the sets were in another house adjacent to theirs? All the mundane stuff, the everyday trivial bits take up the daylight hours and leave the best time for writing.

FENG SHUI YOUR OFFICE SPACE

Here's one from my archives.  Something to do over Thanksgiving to get those writer juices flowing more freely.

How do you feel when you enter your office at work or at home? Do you feel the way your body feels when it is uplifted with high energy from high negative ions in the forest after a good rain? Do you feel that sense of peace and well-being you get from walking on the beach at dawn? Or do you feel more like you have just entered solitary confinement in a falling down, filthy jail? Somewhere in between perhaps? Help is available.

Feng shui, the Asian art and science that unites energy, time, space, people and the environment can help you increase your work productivity and feel much better while you're working. It requires a few simple changes in your working environment.

Feng shui has been around for over 3,000 years in China. It consists of a complex body of knowledge that determines how to balance the energies in a space. It is based on Taoist vision and an understanding of nature and the idea that everything in it is alive.

Perhaps you would be surprised to learn that Donald Trump, Tiger Woods, Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg and some of the largest companies in the world including Coca-Cola, Sony, Shell, Procter & Gamble and Citibank use feng shui.

For our purposes here--to come to your immediate rescue--we're not going to get too technical or have you use the Feng Shui compass and the Ba-Gua, a chart you make which outlines the entire space you are in. Plenty of further information is available on the Internet if you wish to delve deeper.

Chi is the term for the universal energy that permeates everything around us from the inside of our bodies, the inside of buildings and on to the outside. The primary goal of feng shui is to direct the Chi inside the space you work in so that it nourishes a good flow of Chi inside your body. Then you can approach your tasks feeling energized, inspired and in tune with nature.

Here are some feng shui basics that will not only get you started but will provide almost immediate results.

The first step is very important. Clear out the clutter. Get rid of everything that doesn't belong in your office, that is ugly and unnecessary. Initially it requires some effort to light the load but keep in mind as you take things out of your environment that don't need to be there, you are lowering your stress level. Clutter can rise to the ceiling on a bookshelf. It always has an oppressive, overpowering feeling. You are freeing the Chi, or life source energy, to flow smoothly around you and keep that energy moving.

According to feng shui doctrine, the position of your desk dictates your power. It should be as far away from the door as possible. You should have an unobstructed view of the door from where you sit. If this is not possible, use a feng shui cure such as setting up a mirror to enable you to see it.

Don't face a wall while you work. If you can't reposition yourself, hang up a picture that provides an eye level scene of something like a long winding road or river.

Define your personal space. A small mat or area rug at the entrance to your work space will inhibit people from walking in unannounced. Hang a bell to alert you to visitors if you can.

Do not let things pile up on the floor. This keeps you stuck in the past, making it hard to finish projects or meet deadlines. Sort through your papers once a month and discard what is unnecessary.

Use symbols of future goals just above your eye level. If you wish a promotion, put a tall plant on top of a bookcase or file cabinet. To reach a sales goal, write your target number in red marker on a green piece of paper and post it over the door.

Integrate organic materials into your work space such as wicker baskets, wooden paper trays, crystal paperweights, and potted plants. These will encourage people to let down their guard with you because representations of nature are reassuring in a business environment.

Keep your dreams. If your job bears no resemblance to the work you dream of doing, incorporate water into your office. Try an indoor fountain or a picture of a moving body of water. Aquariums are wonderful and relaxing. Water keeps you tuned into your desires and encourages you to take steps toward your real career goals.

Don't let items pile up on your desk. Clear your desk at the end of each day. It will be so much nicer to come in the next morning to your clean desk free of clutter.

Have good quality air and light in your office. Keep the office windows open often or use an air-purifier. Use as much natural light as possible. Think about using full-spectrum lights.

Color is very important in feng shui and each color offers different subtle characteristics that affect the mood and tone of your office. If you can't paint, set out objects like rugs or pillows with the color. Live with the colors you love. Light colors invigorate, and dark colors can make you feel oppressed. Use lively, energetic colors like orange or yellow to accent and uplift the energy. This will help not only your productivity, but also your morale and creativity.

Idea Catcher Notebook for Magazine Article Ideas

Okay, knowing your niche market. getting paid for freelance magazine article work, all that's left to grow is to keep those article ideas green and growing. Certainly the clippings files of interesting ideas are growing fatter and staying organized. What's left to do? What's next is to start your ever-present notebook idea catcher, or if there already is one, to expand on how its used and keep it going. They don't get carried around day-in and night-out for only the most profound thoughts and headiest quotes. Those kind of journals end up under the bed covered in dust. They are for musings, intriguing comments and questions heard or stumbled upon, reactions to news, relationship updates, reading responses and questions; descriptions and solutions to problems--you could even draw mini mind-maps. There is so much to write about that will jar loose so much more. Perhaps you're on a bus or a train and it's going to be a moderately long ride. Get out your notebook and write about what your life's mission is. Take the position of a soul searcher, a seeker after truth and justice, an adventurer or a wanderer and write what you think, feel and observe from one of those identities. Go to a movie and if it affects you, write a mini-review. Record dreams and fantasies. What do they suggest about your waking life? Put yourself into the life of an intriguing stranger you noticed. What is their life like? What do they do? What do they dream about? What do they believe? Do they love? Get into it. Get into objects. Arrange them into still lifes and try to understand them from an artistic perspective. What do you do to them and why? Which do you prefer? Write about the experience. What did you learn? Describe your pets. Write characterizations about them. You didn't know them as well as you do now when you named them. Do they suit their names? What would you name them now, if not. What one word would you use to describe your pet? What do you think your pet thinks about, if you think your pet thinks? List major changes in your past life, present life, those coming up and those you would like to make in your future life. Remember as you write to be as specific as you can. Use plenty of sensory words that also can jar the memory and bring forth ideas. Create the sights, sounds, smells and textures for the reader even if the reader is only going to be you. At times go back over earlier entries and rewrite something that grabs you or fashion it into something else--perhaps an article? Take yourself on field trips just for the sake of your idea catcher: a walk in the woods, a trip to the park, a walk along the beach, a trip downtown--all enjoyed in detailed description in your notebook. Sit at a coffee shop and collect bits of overheard conversation. Some people make entire blogs out of these bits and some imagination. The part of the conversation you're not privy to is as engaging as what you do hear. Soon these snippets will grow and flower and become living, breathing articles. Each notation is like a dandelion after the flower has faded and only the skeleton is left. Blow on this feathers and watch what they can become.

Some All Too Common Mistakes Made By Novice Freelance Magazine Writers

1. First big mistake: sending in a totally wrong query letter. Now this query may be wrong because you didn't bother to read the freelance guidelines which clearly state that article submission is preferable to sending a query. Or it may be wrong because you never bothered getting a sample copy of the magazine and, therefore, have no idea what the demographics are--who they write for, what the tone is, what the features usually address--nothing--and this shows through loud and clear in your query. Maybe if you had read the guidelines, you'd know that they only deal with writers' agents and you could have saved yourself some time and trouble. Too bad you're too cheap to buy or subscribe to "Writers' Market"? Or perhaps the query is so terribly wrong because you didn't bother to even run the spell check no less proofread it for mistakes of capitalization, punctuation, grammar, etc. and you've just told an editor you're not really a writer just a mad typer. Finally, it could have been so far, far from being the right query letter because a good query convinces an editor that an article would be right for his magazine, meaning that it is sizzling, attention-grabbing and well-written. And you practically skipped over the expected paragraph about why you are particularly well-suited to write this article for this magazine. Having a B.S. in Biology doesn't convince an editor you are qualified to write about home decor, nor does college membership in that sorority you mentioned. 2. The article you submitted had no lead, for starters. It not only didn't grab the reader, it was so mundane and run-of-the-mill it made him want to just set down the article down and walk away. 3. The flat writing continued throughout the article like last week's 7-Up. There was no inspiration, no real shred of interest shown by the writer. There were too many cliche's and adverbs and not enough facts to make the generalizations ring true. 4. Again, how does a writer submit an article in today's cyber world without at least running the spell check on it? And why not just get a red marker and write "amateur" across the top of the thing if you insist on giving "it's' an apostrophe for possession not "it is"? And what about misspelling simple words like "decor" and "scheme". And if it had been proofread by anyone, perhaps someone would have noticed the use of the word "marvelous" in every other sentence. That is called gushing and it really doesn't have a place in most objective magazine review writing. 5. You submitted a seasonal article for a seasonal issue the magazine already put to bed three months ago. Publishing time is not like real time. In publishing time, Christmas has come and gone and so has Valentine's Day. 6. Your article is 1,500 words long. Had you read the guidelines you would have known that the maximum length they accept is 600 words. 7. Having shared some ego-deflating truths about the query and article, one can't help but wonder if it were actually wise and expedient to call the editor three times to inquire about its status? 8. It's a mistake to grieve early or even middle or late rejections. They are as much a part of writing as buying another ink cartridge for the printer or researching freelance help wanted ads. Paper your walls with them like some of the great writers did. Don't give up--just vow to do better next time. Spend more time on getting to know the market and the magazine. Do your homework. Research your demographics. Outline your articles. And, please, ask at least three friends to proofread and edit it for you.

Meet ED2010: A Website Every Freelance Magazine Writer Should Know

It may  the best magazine writing site going. It has lots of what you need and want. And it's not written in a slick, hard to take business style but a down-to-earth conversational one. ED2010 writes on its "About" section that it is: ...a community of young magazine editors and magazine-editor wannabes who want to learn more about the industry so we can fulfill our dreams of landing top editing and writing positions in the magazine industry... They go on to say that it was born in New York City, but now they have chapters in cities across the U.S., Canada, and in the U.K. They also have college campus chapters. It costs nothing to join. They only ask that you read their blogs, comment on their message boards, and look over the WhisperJobs. Oh, and they sponsor happy hours in your town and towns across the country. Great networking, huh? There is a lot of talk in the freelance press and Internet websites now about what rates freelancers charge, and what rates they should charge. Deborah Ng of Freelance Gigs did an anonymous survey recently, and the results weren't pretty. They were especially ugly now that there seems to be an increasing number of job postings that want to pay one dollar per article. ED2010 has real magazine industries anonymously post some of their positions, geographic locations. job perks and salaries. You can get a solid idea of what actual people at your level are making as they begin their careers, and an idea of what to hope to make later on. ED2010 provides an indispensable glossary to the jargon of magazine writing and publishing. Here's one acronym you don't want to find on your draft from your editor: "MEGO" = "my eyes glaze over". There are many more, including what all the position titles mean from market editor to copy editor. There are resources galore. "Extensive" barely covers all the job boards, freelancing sites, newspaper sites, magazine sites, writing, media and professional resources. The WhisperJobs are from all over the country and include online jobs where you can work from your home. ED even provides human resource email contact info with company email address formats for magazine staff at publishers like Conde' Nast, Hearst, and Time, Inc. There are lists of mailing addresses and phone numbers for quite a few of the heavy hitter magazine publishing companies as well. The college students' section offers internship listings, message boards, advice, and the opportunity to start an ED chapter at a college as well as attend an ED networking event that isn't a happy hour. Speaking of networking, they help manage ED book clubs across the country and will help start one in the area of any person who requests one. But don't think ED is all frivolous, light-hearted fun, games and finding jobs. There are serious blog postings about subjects like whether teen mags are going to be able to sustain their reader base because most teens want to read Cosmo; ad pages everywhere being hit by the recession; will college grads be able to get jobs in this economy next September; and are we soon going to witness the death of print magazines. The interns who write these posts include their complete profiles along with access to their other ED blogs like "Ed's Intern Diaries". The links alone would be worth the price of admission, if there were one. And there's something called "The 60-Minute Mentor Program" for new college grads seeking advice. ED2010 is the place to be for anyone who wishes to write or edit magazines

TODAY IT'S ARTICLES ON MAGAZINE WRITING

Today I am using this freelance writing blog to inform and entertain you the reader, I hope, as I publish three articles as writing samples for a position I am applying for at Suite 101.com. I have finished my first three months there, and now I am eligible to apply for a promotion to a feature writer. I just found out that there is an opening in magazine writing. I need to submit five articles on the topic with my request for this job. I wrote three so far today. I am publising them in the blog so they'll look good and be easier to attach with my request. I hope you find them useful. Okay, let's start with the next post.

Just a funky mood I'm in. It's 6:18 a.m. and I haven't been to bed yet. Been working every freelance want-ad and market write up ad I can find. I want to write something exciting for money. I got two checks this week and it has gone to my head. I'm only happy when I'm writing. But I guess you figured that out by now. I wrote two astrology things--sort of funky soul mates based on sun sign astrology and one what to eat when you have PMS article all for Helium.com Marketplace. I am also working on a few others for them. One about what to eat to prevent cancer and one on Chinese New Year. Yeah, coming up soon the year of the Ox. That's what I am. A quiet, hardworking ox. The more freelance writers blogs I read the more I learn I am far from being the one of only a handful of writers disgusted with the present marketplace of $1/articles and SEO nightmares and spinning articles to pass plagiarism tests. Lots of us are disgusted. I found some who are simply choosing not having anything to do with any of it which is reassuring. I think of the wonder and total regard I held for writers for most of my idealistic life and I can't imagine it has come to spinning. Would F. Scott have spun a few to keep Zelda in a good secure place and to buy a few more rounds? Can you picture Virginia Woolf counting keywords? I'm certainly not putting myself in their league I'm merely asking is that what has become of writing today? Meanwhile, I continue sending and receiving e-mails from my best friend all through high school, now a grandmother. We have so much fun. She is still hunting deer every morning at 4 a.m. One more and she can stop for the season because she'll have enough to last the year. She lives in Smackover, AK but she's from the Chicago area. I told her I know what I'll serve her for lunch when she comes to see me over Christmas--something she is probably dying for because she sure can't get it in Smackover: good old Chicago pizza. My poor sister and her family just live in Wisconsin. I was there recently and they told me all about how awful all the pizza up there was. But then one night when we were all starving they went ahead and ordered one. Yeap, it was sure awful. They weren't exaggerating. I think the sauce was plain tomato paste. I can't talk about what was supposed to be the pepperoni or I'll get sick. You wouldn't think making pizza was such a secret, would you?

MONEY IS NOT ROLLING IN, BUT IT IS DRIPPING IN

This week I have received payment for two freelance articles. One was the home remedies piece. The other was an astrology newsletter for December. I hope I get picked to do another of those. It was a lot of fun. I really did research to write it. I know a lot of you probably think astrologers just pull their forecasts out of their asses. No me. So I will hereby warn you all to look out for the evil full moon on December 12th. Everybody is going to be in their crabbiest holiday stressed-out frenzy and looking for someone to dump it on. Don't be the dumpee. Avoid crowded shopping malls. Do your Christmas shopping before December 10th or after December 14th just to be safe. Try not to let critical, temperamental words fly out of your mouth during this period or they will fly right back in your face with a vengeance. Good news you ask? Yes, there is a brilliant Jupiter-Venus conjunction on the 1st that is ripe for romance and holiday festivities. Too bad it's a Monday. Make your own fun. Grab someone you like a lot, love, or would like to know better and go look at holiday lights or go cut down a Christmas tree in legally sanctioned woods. Don't waste this beautiful aspect on the mundane. And, BTW, Sagittarius, get ready for one fabulous birthday month. You deserve it because you are just so lovable. That's all true. I swear. Now I am on to bidding writing an e-book on the meaning of baby names and six articles on diet and health, something I've written about frequently. I am still bidding on the the low side, but bids that allow me to feel good about myself as I do the work. I tell you there are some ugly things going on in the freelance writing help wanted world if you've looked lately. Have you seen something like this: "Wanted 100 articles in three days, all spun from one article that I will provide, must pass plagiarism test and all must be original. Publisher can only pay $1.00 per article. SEO knowledge and experience crucial. Keywords will be provided." Sickening, huh? Who calls this writing? I am thinking of dumping Elance because they let these a-holes sign up as publishers, and I only recently signed up with them. Until very recently I didn't even know what spinning meant or that you could actually purchase a device that would spin an original article into a copy that could be tested for plagiarism and pass. I say it again. I am sickened. I see these sort of disgusting faux apologies for low rates in help wanted ads posted everywhere. Five dollars an article for a regularly written 500-600 word article is common. What kind of chimps do they think we writers are? I tell you I delight in the TV/movie writers' strikes when they stop production and make viewers realize that the shows and movies they love so much are created by writers. We need stronger unions for the little guys. We need to let these publishers know that we won't be working for $1-10.00 per article and that they are very rude to even take out an ad suggesting such a thing. I know I didn't go to college for four years, earn ten years of print and Internet writing experience and take extra writing classes on my own to earn a slap in the face rate. What about you?