WE HAVE BEEN INVADED!
Yes, I was almost invaded myself this morning. I thought well, why not, the rest of the Internet community is always a buzz over selling blog space, I might as well get with it. To tell you the God's truth, and it's shameful, I had moved over to WordPress because I saw in ads that people wanted you to be familiar with it. Then I came back to Blogger and read about this new AdSense thing, and I had been a little bummed that I couldn't use the new Google AdSense I was just dying to try at WordPress so I moved back. Taking my blogs back and forth like a teenage newlywed going back and forth to Mom and Dad's after learning what marriage is really like. Well, now I'm back and I figured today I would get me some of that big money and sign on for AdSense. It was much easier than I had let to believe. I first looked it up in FAQ and boy did that confuse me. I ended up downloading some WordPress template that I had no idea how to install. Finally I figured out it was a "gadget" listed on layout and I only had to make a couple of clicks. And there on my beautiful page with a poem about my daughter and a picture of a wood thrush meant to represent her as she leaves the nest for good, was an ad, first about making big bucks doing some damn thing, and, the second one was about "blogging for dollars". I simply could not live with myself. And for what? Two cents a day? No thank you. If I sell out it's going to be for larger cash. You know I write now for Suite 101.com. I just started freelancing regularly for them. I feel like it's sort of a real job in that I filled out an application with writing samples and got accepted and all that. As you can see from link, I have a profile and a list of my articles and my picture and everything. Well, yesterday I almost pissed where I swim. I was anxious to fill up that list of articles written by me and was lunging around desperate for ideas. I hate when I get like that. I am totally burned out but won't admit it. I had spent three days on that 2,700 word "History of Coffee" piece. (I used three books for reference and a bunch of Internet sites.) I was crunchy. Anyhow, I started doing what I do when I am fresh out of article ideas. I went to 2007 Google Zeitgeist, Google Trends and Hot Trends for the day and previous few days, and then I went to AOL's blog on their day's trends. They were writing and listing bizarre celebrity spa treatments like fanny facials, snake massages, snake venom creams, cupping, nightingale dung facials, lava shell massage, 24-carat gold facials, human placenta facials, hyaluronic acid (key component of human tissue), and, oh, yeah, fish nibbling at your toes pedicures. And let's not forget Demi Moore's admission on Letterman this past March that she went to Austria to have leeches suck the old out of her and then she laid in a bathtub of turpentine to "detoxify" her body. Is a younger man's attention really worth all that? Well, I had names of which celebs did what. (Madonna-placenta, Gwyneth-cupping, snake venom and, I'd say, pretty much whatever; and I even got Oprah down for hyaluronic acid, although I like to think of her as too ethereal for all of that nonsense.) Well I had the thing pretty much written and went to paste it on the little machine that takes the articles. The f'n machine just spun around and the words went into cyberspace. I tried it about three times. It just wouldn't take my junky, crappy, low-life article that was only geared toward keyword optimization and nothing else much really. I woke up grateful today. I am ashamed and sorry, but I still may go write it for Helium. I spent too much time on researching who did what to blow it off completely. I only wish I knew if it were true about Halle Berry putting coffee grinds on her butt to get rid of cellulite. It sounds kind of out there, but what if it's true? Some so-called expert says that because coffee is a stimulant and a diuretic that when applied on the skin it increases blood flow and thus detoxifies and breaks up cellulite. Pretty to think so, eh? Oh, well, it should get me high ratings on Helium for the dish. Damn Helium. They owe me $70 for an article I sold on, get this, the body language of horses. Tell me that didn't take some research. I put in for it weeks ago, before the first of the month, as specified. I actually expected to see it in my PayPal account yesterday. Still not there today. No sign of it in my "earnings" report except as an "adjustment". I sent them an e-mail. If they don't pay up this entire blog may be changed to the Helium.com is a Con and a Thief etc. Blog, making sure I use all the right key words to get it Googled regularly. Ta Ta for now.