"I Look At All the Lonely People. Where Do They All Come From?"
Just a reminder for you poets out there, and those of you who have the heart for poetry but have lacked the nerve. The time is now. Poe announced today that tomorrow begins the annual 30 Poems in 30 days. See last year's line-up: You can post them or take up the offer to do the whole thing privately. It is an opportunity no poet at heart should miss. And September is a great month for poetry if you ask me. The leaves are changing. The wind is blowing that incredible new feeling of beginnings and green hope promise of better days and nights. Pick up that pen/cursor and follow me. And just who are all the lonely people the Beatles asked, and I ask you tonight after reading Google's Zeitgeist 2007. I read it, of course, along with AOL Top Searches, Google Hot Trends and Yahoo Buzz to see what's been going on and maybe still is going on that I can use for an article idea. Yeah, I know it sounds like cheating, but I just started writing for Suite 101.com and I want to see my articles page fill up. Under the category "Top of Mind" in the 2007 Zeitgeist are some disturbing searches. Now remember that these searches have to occur often enough to be recorded as a trend. No single fly-by-night searches count. I want to meet the people who typed these words into the Google search box and comfort them. Here's what they thought Google could help them with: Who is God? What is love? How to kiss? How to dance? How to levitate? not to mention, hello?, "who is this?" Maybe I will just let that last person be. They may have been over-served. But doesn't it just break your heart that people turn to Google to find out who God is, what love is and how to kiss? And just imagine the lonley, gawky teen or pre-teen who wants to go to the dance or just be popular but doesn't have anyone to show him/her how to dance. That is just so unkind of life. Well, frankly, neither did I. I never did learn how to dance either, and, believe me, I was embarrassed to death because of it many the time. I used to just cat around on the floor like I was Mick damn Jagger. Usually I had to be blind drunk to get up and get out there. Then I'd fall down or just plain make a fool of myself. One time I was so damn drunk I fell down and just kept dancing on the floor like it was part of my act. Tsk tsk. The memories of an alcoholic life are not attractive ones. I'm sure that last paragraph will be up on Google tomorrow morning. On a hunch I googled "MsRefusenik" for the first time yesterday. What an eye-opener that was. It was like I had been living with an evil roommate who was systematically sending random bits of embarrassing documents from my computer to Google. Shit I didn't even know existed. Real personal stuff too. Can somebody tell me how you get that stuff off of Google? The last time I had to get something off it was an application form to buy Phentermine with a made up, inflated weight and my age on it. I had to contact the pharmacy to say that I thought that medical records were confidential. Oh no, they assured me, from some foreign port city. Anything that is on the Internet is fair game for online publication. I haven't ordered anything online since. But I was able to get that awful thing off of there. I didn't even want anyone to know I was wasting my money on that crap. (But should you decide to waste your money on this not-bad speed replacement, be sure it is phentermine and not phentramine or some damn synthetic imitation that costs much less.) Thank God I get regular Adderall from my doc now. I really do have ADD. So who are these people who want Google to tell them how to kiss? Could they be any more innocent, sweet and helpless? Again, why is no one there to show them--even if only on their hand. Isn't it one of our inaliable rights? That we know how to kiss before we meet the boy or the girl? And Google just goes right ahead and tells them how to do it in no nonsence terms. There are two Wiki posts on it, and something called videojug has a video on how to kiss passionately. Do you think that is what Mr. or Ms. Lonely Hearts is really looking for? Do they have to be quite so corrupted so swiftly? I can barely stand to tell you what Google spits out for "What is Love?" That's right, the YouTube's Roxbury version of the awful disco song. On a less plaintive note, under Zeitgeist "Ringtones" I have some questions also. Just who are these people looking for "mosquito", "spider pig", "crazy frog", "office" and "silent" ringtones? Please don't stop searching until you find what your heart is seeking.