Writing and Freelancing Links You'll Thank Me For

 

 Writers, and freelance writers, want to be productive each day.  They really want to meet the writing goals they have set for themselves for that day.  But first, you have to check your e-mail in all your e-mail accounts and respond to it.  Several e-mails offer newsletters to read, and that takes time.  Writing back to the people who wrote  you, and on and on until you're entirely sucked into the vortex  of e-mail for hours or even most of the day.  

Then you start researching for the article or story you want to write, but Google or whatever search engine spews out some intriguing links that you absolutely must check out.  Then maybe you start wondering what social  interactions you are missing out of  on Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn or Twitter.  This distraction also eats up your time.  

Then it's time to quit for the day to see about dinner, the kids, the spouse or keep a social engagement.  And not one thing can be crossed off your To-Do  list.  Another day shot, and you are not feeling too good about yourself.  

Does this happen to you?  Are you driven to distractions when you are trying to accomplish set tasks?  And it's even worse if you have adult attention deficit disorder, I can tell you.    Some days it's like sinking into quicksand and nothing happens with your well-intentioned plans and projects.

Well I came across the best free e-book that helps you lessen distractions and even disconnect from them.  It's called Focus Manifesto and it's written by Leo Babauta from Zen Habits.   All 28 chapters won't cost you a thing, although there are books for sale in print and Kindle editions. This book helps you feel that you might have a chance to start finishing the daily tasks you set for yourself.

The book is very thought-provoking.  Babauta talks about the side effects of living in our information age such as creeping fears arising when we aren't updating information and learning about the lastest happening. We feel something bad may happen to us if we don't stay informed.  Anything could happen, right?  Someone may judge you as ill-informed or you could miss an opportunity.

This book is way beyond helping you stop playing solitaire at work and gambling at home.  It's about learning how to slow down, enjoy life and have personal freedom in which to read a book, take a walk, listen to music or go camping for a week without a computer.   It tells you how to not live in your inbox.

The book doesn't insist you disconnect from all distractions at once.  It respects the fact that some distractions are necessary and important.   The goal is to find balance.  There are many suggestions for how to accomplish this; for example, each hour focus on tasks for 40 minutes, then take 20 minutes for distractions.  It sure beats all distractions all the time.

I hope you get as much out of the book as I did.  I was desperate to start accomplishing goals and stop my days and nights of noodling on the computer.

Here are some good newsletters for any kind of writer including those who freelance.

Here's a link for you literary folks. Garrison Keillor of radio's Prairie Home Companion has a daily newsletter called "The Writer's Almanac."   You can subscribe for free here.  Each newsletter begins with a unique, usually clever, poem in print and in audio with the poet reading it.  The rest of the newsletter is the most interesting, compelling facts about whatever authors were born on that day.   I am amazed at his information.  I don't know where he digs it up, but he talks about writers I studied in college as an English major and thought I knew, and comes up with off-the-wall stories that would be good reading about Joe Blow.  Really.  If you love books and writers, don't miss this.

Here's a newsletter for freelance writers that I read and enjoy.   Get it free, The WM Freelance Writing Connection.  It has free e-books on marketing yourself and your writing, job listings, and many other resources.  It's also the only place I've seen where you can get a writing buddy to bounce ideas off and to spur you to keep on keeping on.  You write out what you're looking for in a writing buddy and it's matched up with others' requests.  Cool, huh?

One of the absolute best newsletter you can subscribe to for free is Carol Tice's "Make A Living Writing.  When you subscribe (free) you'll get a free copy of her invaluable e-book, "40 Ways to Market Your Writing."  This is an award winning blog, and it was voted one of the top ten writing blogs of 2010.  Carol writes that she started the blog in 2008 because she was and is passionate about seeing that writers get paid what they're worth.  And she knows what she's talking about.  She shares her unbelievable income from her various writing projects and webinars, and she is raking it in.  The articles are outstanding and always about something you can use.  She recently announced that she felt it was only fair to pay guest hosts $50.  See the blog to apply.

Speaking of freelance writing, it was in "Make A Living Writing" that I learned  of a lucrative freelance market in writing textbook supplements.  The guy who guest hosted shared how much he makes and how to get into it.  Read all about it here.

No hand holding. No coddling. No crap freelance writing jobs. Just serious advice for serious freelance writers — that’s what you’ll get from All Freelance Writing.

All Freelance Writing is a freelance writing blog managed by Jennifer Mattern, a freelance business & PR writer, professional blogger, e-book author, and Web developer.  The "About" section says this: "no hand holding. No coddling. No crap freelance writing jobs. Just serious advice for serious freelance writers — that’s what you’ll get from All Freelance Writing.  

In addition to unique and timely articles that aren't same old same old like you often find in these blogs and newsletters for freelance writers, there are job listings, a forum, and other resources including my favorite, "Freebies."    Here you can get various tools and calculators for figuring out freelance hourly rates, e-book sales conversion, keyword density analysis, free Word Press themes and web templates.  But what I have most appreciated are Jennifer's e-books on how to write an e-book in 14 days, and how to write a press release, which includes free distribution companies' addresses.  Not to be missed.

Another helpful newsletter for writers is "Confident Writing." That's where I heard about "Focus Manifesto."   They usually have some great articles too that are not run-of-the-mill.

There are other writing links under links on this blog.  You can get a free education as well as tools you can use and job opportunities.

The Wrong Kind of Risks: Fiction

I wrote this short story yesterday and it's not bad.  In fact, I'm sort of proud of it.  I wanted to share it with you.  Please leave your honest comments and tell me what you think.  I think you will enjoy it. 

        
 Photo: Archetype: The Shadow, by Jone Reed



  The Wrong Kind of Risks, by Maryellen Grady/MsRefusenik




"Good does not become better by being exaggerated, but worse, and a small evil becomes a big one through being disregarded and repressed. The shadow is very much a part of human nature, and it is only at night that no shadows exist." Carl Jung*





"If only someone had stopped me," Jane wrote in her journal. "What happened is in the dead past and can't be changed, but I can change, and I will," she added.

No one tried to stop Jane from what her shadow self was up to, because no one knew. Her friends she never saw or talked to, co-workers, family, and that was a very small group of people, had no idea.

Jane couldn't remember the first time her shadow self had emerged. It might have started after the break-up of her long engagement, or maybe when she was fired as a mental health counselor and told by Jan, the psychiatrist, that she needed help. Something switched in her. She felt out of it and sort of drugged, when she went from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, but she also loved the adrenaline rush, the thrills, and the danger.

She knew from her studies of Carl Gustav Jung in college and since, that a small evil becomes a big one through being disregarded and repressed.

She knew her shadow archetype was running her life, but she didn't have the necessary self-knowledge to make it stop.

Jane had always been a cautious girl, and grown up into a cautious adult. As a child. she refused swimming lessons, rides on Ferris wheels and roller coasters, because she worried she would die. As an adult, she had been at her low-paying, dead-end job for six years before getting fired, ignoring her dream of becoming a writer. Writing was too much of a risk she believed. Other people would judge her writing and find it lacking, her inner critic told her. If she submitted her writing to publications, or sent a query, she would be rejected and she could not face that.

Jane was 31, had a B.S. degree in psychology, and never took risks or chances. She was a woman who owned several umbrellas and used them in the slightest of drizzles. She also wore galoshes to work on days the weather forecaster said there was even a tiny chance of rain. She ate the same seven frozen dinners every week, and was afraid if she altered her diet, her health would suffer. She was attractive but not stunning. She had the same hairstyle she had at 14: Her long copper-colored hair hung long and straight from its part in the middle. She only read New York Times' best sellers, and travel and self-help books along with some biographies and memoirs. She read fiction that had met her standards and values. She avoided authors who drank too much like Hemingway, Faulkner and Fitzgerald. She herself never had more than two drinks at a time. She had given up pot, psychedelics and pills when she was a sophomore in college, after giving into peer pressure freshman year.

She rarely left her comfort zone--her apartment--except to buy groceries, and go to the library or work. She avoided her family, and she didn't believe in socializing with coworkers. She didn't get out to have fun, and mostly forgotten what it was to laugh till your stomach hurt.

Jane wished more than anything she could stop taking admission information from mental patients and make a living writing, but she was so scared of failure. She preferred believing she had a gift for writing, and could write well any time she wished, rather than face failure and be forced to give up that fantasy.

Then one night she slipped into an unlocked car and discovered booty. She loved the thrill of it. She loved the adventure, the danger and the fact that she was actually taking the first major risk in her life.

She started her late night prowling more frequently until she found out she'd made it part of her daily routine. She dressed in pretty much the same outfit everyday: Black jeans, black hoodie sweatshirts in cooler weather and black T-shirts when it was warm. She wore black Keds with black socks, and elbow length black leather gloves to hide her white flesh and prevent fingerprints.

She learned to wear a large backpack and carry a gym bag for all the loot she found in unlocked cars. She was initially amazed by how many people didn't bother locking their cars or turning on their alarms, except for sports cars, luxury cars and SUV's. Although part of her was proud that she never broke into a car by force, she did wish that slim jims worked on the newer cars. She had read up on car alarms and how they were installed, and she always looked for the tiny blinking "courtesy light" showing the alarm was on. A few times she hadn't seen a light, and the alarm sirens went off as soon as she mashed in the door handle with her thumb. She was glad she had on her fast Keds those nights.

After a couple of months of daily night prowling, she started taking more risks. She entered cars parked in private residence driveways and some parked on busy streets. One day she found herself silently opening up a Volvo station wagon door. The Volvo was full of bags, boxes and groceries. She could see paper money on the panel between the front seats. She started to move towards the glove compartment, when she caught herself and asked what the hell she thought she was doing. It was broad daylight, and the car was parked in front of a house. The owner was probably coming to get the stuff out of the car any minute. That incident scared her. Was she cracking up? She wondered.

It was an addiction, she rationalized, and she was powerless to control it. She was addicted to all of the different smells in each car, seeing the various contents of the glove compartment, and checking to see if the trunk was unlocked. She liked to pretend she was invisible. Thinking if she didn't see anyone no one saw her, she moved with confidence, ignoring the lit windows and the cars driving down the streets.

She had grown quite a collection of found sunglasses, filled coin changers for the tollways, flashlights, pens and even maps. She liked to look at them and fantasize where she would move to if she ever felt she was close to getting caught. When that would be, and what would indicate it, she couldn't say.

She also had a nice supply of prescription pills from the glove boxes, and she spent a lot of time looking up the various drugs in the Physicians' Desk Reference she had found in what was probably a doctor's car parked outside a hospital. She was tempted by the codeine, Vicodine, Adderall and a few others. She hoped she wouldn't go back to pill popping. She learned a lot of people must have acid indigestion and reflux. So many medicines for those two things, and Pepcid tabs in every other car. And what was with all that gum, hard candy, Tic-Tacs, breath spray, breath drops and breath mints? The average person must do a lot of kissing, she figured. She left those alone. She hated holding something in her mouth like that.

Before her shadow had had enough of her always cautions ways and refusal to take risks, she had a handful of C.D.'s that she listened to on a little boom box. She had the usual Yanni, Michael Jackson, old John Denver, and Johnny Cash C.D.'s. Now her C.D. collection took up a whole wall in her living room and a large corner of her office. She'd had to buy storage containers for them. She once had been as frugal as her mother. Now when she accidentally brought home duplicates, she just tossed them in the garbage.

Jane had always been on the thin side, now she was wearing a size 2 in jeans and knew she had lost a lot of weight. She just couldn't make herself stop her appointed nightly rounds to go get a bite to eat. Her skin was sort of gray, but she ignored it. She didn't see anyone so no one commented about the changes in her appearance.

She was intrigued by her new behaviors and looked up psychological interpretations online. She was fascinated by Jung's archetypes, and wondered at her own shadow self.

As Christmas approached that year, Jane began to hit a pirate's treasure chest of loot in the cars. Wrapped gifts included things like "Apple® iPad® 2 with Wi-Fi + 3G - 64GB (Verizon Wireless) - Black," according to the box label. She found digital cameras, camcorders, Playstations, and Nintendo Wii players. Her nephews and nieces would love her Christmas presents this year. She had so many cell phones that she stopped taking them. She just couldn't take the risk of trying to sell any of the stuff she found.

Then one freezing cold December night a week before Christmas it happened. She was in the middle of packing up her gym bag with wrapped Christmas presents that covered the entire back seat, when she heard one loud short alarm of a police car. No gumdrop red lights flashing, but the car pulled up and a police officer knocked on the back window and mimed rolling down the window. The cop had appeared so suddenly out of nowhere she couldn't even think about making a run for it.

She rolled down the driver's side window, smiled her best practiced smile and said, "Yes officer, what can I do for you? How's it going?"

"It's kind of late to be out here by yourself, Ma'am. Is everything okay?"

"Oh fine. I was just getting ready to sneak some Christmas presents into my house while my husband and kids are sleeping."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, I hear what you're saying, but I still need to see your license and registration."

"Please Cosmo, the Universe, or a Higher Power of any kind, let there be a registration in the glove box," she prayed. Her former good deeds must have brought her good karma because there it was.

"Here's my registration, Officer, but I didn't bring my purse with my license, since I was only going to my own driveway. I wasn't driving any place."

Now she felt currents of sweat dripping down her arm and onto her breasts. She hoped he couldn't hear how loud her heart was pounding.

"Okay, then, I'll let it go. It's Christmas. Do you need some help bringing in the gifts?"

"No, I'm fine. Two people might create noise and wake up my babies. They all still believe in Santa. I really don't want them to see me with these gifts."

"Sure. I'll let you get back to work. Please get back in your house and off the streets as quick as you can."

"I will, Officer."

He hadn't driven off the side-street she was on, when she went back to stuffing mystery gifts into her backpack, gym bag, and a new black duffel bag she had found in somebody's car. Then slowly, calmly and quietly she opened and closed the car door without a sound--something she had learned to do with practice.

That morning she looked online for more about Jung's Shadow Archetype. She read this by Jung:


Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants to be. Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it. Furthermore, it is constantly in contact with other interests, so that it is continually subjected to modifications. But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected.**

She was glad her consciousness was very aware of her shadow. She may have repressed this knowledge at first, but now she accepted it. She wondered if she got into her shadow because of repressing risk taking. Perhaps she had a need to take risks that she denied, and it had gone to the shadow self to see that those urges were fulfilled.

Two nights later she hit the parking lot at the train depot. She figured the cops patrolled it, but told herself she would be careful. She saw a newer red Buick LaCrosse and no little lights were blinking on the dash. She carefully pushed in the door handle and no alarms when off.

The Buick's glove compartment held her third money bag of some business's undeposited money and checks for the night. People were so busy at Christmas time they must not take ten minutes to go to the bank she thought. She didn't see much else, not even any C.D.'s, and she scooted back to the driver's door to go looking for more money bags.

Suddenly she saw a car with its brights on headed down the row of cars she was in. She did her best to duck under the dashboard, being grateful she was only 5'2" or there would be no way. It was one tight squeeze. A flashlight beam ran across the back seat of the car and moved forward to the front. She tried not to move and didn't dare scratch the itch on her nose. She waited for the cop to leave.

The bright beam of the flashlight then hit her in the eyes. She'd been spotted. She was going to be caught red-handed. Those money bags would give her away as soon as she was searched. There'd be no lying and pretending tonight.

"Come out with your hands up," yelled a woman. Now Jane could see the police uniform and the squad. The cop pushed her against the side of the car and demanded that she spread her legs. She searched Jane thoroughly and patted her down after first asking if she was carrying any weapons, a question which Jane couldn't even believe a person like herself would ever be asked.

Jane didn't use the shallow pockets of her jeans for anything but a little change. Clean sweep of her clothing and body. She waited.

"You want to tell me what you were doing in there hiding?," the cop snarled. She was chewing and popping gum loudly. She had short, helmet-style dyed black hair pressed to her head beneath her hat. She must have weighed over 200 pounds. This was one big woman.

"Officer, a man followed me from Nick's Cave down the street. He started screaming at me to come to him. I ran like hell and jumped into the first car I saw and hid."

"You know you're still trespassing on private property no matter what your excuse is? Are those your duffel bags?"

"No, Officer. They were here."

"Well you're wearing the backpack so I know that's yours. Do I have your permission to search it?"

"I'd really rather you not go through my private belongings. There are some personal things in it," Jane managed.

"I can get a warrant if you want to play it that way, but I'll have to take you in and lock you up while I fill out the forms and make the phone calls."

"That won't be necessary," Jane said in her most polite, friendly customer service voice that she used to use on the mental patients. "Here. It's mostly Christmas presents I picked up earlier."

Jane saw her hand's shaking as she handed over the backpack. She hoped the cop hadn't noticed.

"What's your name?" The cop was pulling things out of the backpack.

"Cindy Sue Helper," Jane said, and had to wonder where in hell that name came from.

"These are some expensive Christmas presents--electronics, stacks of C.D.'s, some without cases, and these. She held up the three money bags. These are from three different businesses. Are they your businesses?"

"No, Ma'am. I work for those three businesses, and it's my job to put the day's receipts in the bank."

"What's the names of the businesses, since you work there?"

It was over Jane realized. She hadn't looked and didn't have a clue. She hadn't seen anything but the 20, 50 and 100 dollar bills.

"I am bringing you in on charges of suspicious behavior and car burglary--a felony--by the way. What other crimes have you committed? What will I find on your record?"

"Nothing except a ticket for going through a red light. It was an accident."

She read Jane her rights and handcuffed her. She pushed her by the neck and shoulders to walk to the squad car and get in the back seat behind the steel gate that separated it from where the police sat.

She was terrified. A felony? Shit and goddamn! Didn't you have to commit a misdemeanor first? She couldn't believe this happening to her, Jane Ulrich, cautious, law-abiding Jane for most of her life.

They put her in a cell by herself. She heard male prisoners hooting and hollering at her. She really wasn't in the mood, and hoped they shut up soon.

After an hour or so, a different cop, a gruff male one, came and told her she could make her one phone call now.

She had no one to call. For sure she wasn't calling her mother, sister or brother that lived in the City, or any former coworker. She was so desperate she even considered calling her ex-fiancee for a minute. Finally, she asked to see a phone book.

After wasting $1.00 calling "24-hour" help-lines at two legal aid places and getting recordings, she got a human being. She told the woman her story, and asked if she could help. The woman told her that she would bypass the waiting list since she was arrested and in jail. Someone would be there to represent her later that day.

The lawyer, who didn't show up until after Jane's brief court hearing, told her that since she didn't get probation, and she had no one to pay her $10,000 bond or $1,000 cash, she would probably be sent to Cook County Jail soon. She also learned her new court date wasn't for ten days. She started re-thinking calling her mother.

She finally decided not to upset her mother, and to call her brother. She begged the cop that came to her cell bringing breakfast to make one more phone call. He finally relented, saying it was almost Christmas.

Bill was cold as Frosty the Snowman as soon as he knew who had called. She spit out her plight, condensing it as she told it. She boiled it down to the $1,000 bond, and Bill told her absolutely not. He didn't even have $1,000 he claimed. He'd just paid for his new car in cash, and he was out of "mad money." He chuckled at something, what it was, Jane had no idea. "Sadistic S.O.B." she muttered into the phone, but did not repeat it when he asked what she had said. He abruptly hung up on her without saying goodbye. "Rich f'n bastard" she told the desk phone now back in its cradle.

She spent ten of the worst days of her life locked up in Cook County Jail. She felt like she could write a book about the cruelties, injustices and general horrible and demeaning treatment inflicted on her.

Her lawyer, looking even younger and more wet behind the ears to her, met her in the room outside the court room, where she sat handcuffed to a folding chair. He told her there was a plea bargain on the table and that she should take it. If she didn't accept it, she was looking at the possibility of doing three years in Dwight Women's Prison.

Jane knew that prison had to be worse than jail, and she didn't think she could handle it. She decided to have the word "felon" behind her name on her records for the rest of her life. Now she had to work for herself. She was sure no one would hire her after a background check.

After a few weeks of being home, she began writing about her jail experience. She told the whole story including details about what she had done to get put in there. She revised it and polished it many times, and sent it off to three magazines. "Reader's Digest" bought it. They planned to use it as a deterrent for boys and girls who were considering committing crimes.

Jane framed her first check and kept on writing. She set up a writer's website and began marketing herself as a freelance writer. Soon she was making enough to comfortably support herself.

She was fearlessly taking risks--healthy risks. She was doing what she loved. She didn't catch her shadow side lurking in the background any longer. Everyday she was grateful for this second chance and for the opportunity to follow her bliss.



*"A Psychological Approach to the Dogma of the Trinity" (1942) In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.286

**"Psychology and Religion" (1938). In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.131

Author Notes "The Shadow Archetype of Carl Gustov Jung: The shadow is an archetypal form that serves as the focus for material that has been repressed from consciousness; its contents include those tendencies desires and memories that are rejected by the individual as incompatible with the persona and contrary to social standards and ideals. The shadow contains all the negative tendencies the individual wishes to deny, including our animal instincts, as well as undeveloped positive and negative qualities. The stronger our persona is and the more we identify with it, the more we deny other parts of ourselves. The shadow represents what we consider to be inferior in our personality and also that which we have neglected and never developed in ourselves. In dreams, a shadow figure may appear as an animal, a dwarf, a vagrant, or any other low-status figure. The shadow is most dangerous when unrecognized. Then the individual tends to project his or her unwanted qualities onto others or to become dominated by the shadow without realizing it. Images of evil, the devil and the concept of original sin are all aspects of the shadow archetype. The more the shadow material is made conscious, the less it can dominate. But the shadow is an integral part of our nature, and it can never be simply eliminated. A person who claims to be without a shadow is not a complete individual but a two-dimensional caricature, denying the mixture of good and evil that is necessarily present in all of us."*** ***"Transpersonal Pioneers: Carl Jung, the Shadow," Institute for Transpersonal Psychology, Palo Alto, CA http://www.itp.edu/about/carl_jung.php

Pays one point and 32 member cents.

I Want To Go On A Retreat, Do You?

   By gurdonark -  Robert Nunnally
Creative Commons Share License
http://www.flickr.com/photos/46183897@N00/with/244845125/

Let's call this unnamed photo the quiet purple trail.  I wish it showed a lake or ocean beach too, and then it would be a perfect place to have a camp out retreat.

I have had it on my list of goals for a year to go on a spiritual and/or writing retreat.  So many that I have found in my searches are just too far or too expensive.  Then today I picked up a catalog that was sitting in my unread mail for weeks.  It's for R&R or spiritual or yoga or whatever kind of retreat you want at The Omega Institute in the Hudson Valley, New York.  Sign up and get a catalog because there are workshops, courses and events that you will be excited about if you're at all interested in spiritual growth, mindfulness, learning more about writing, creativity, yoga, chanting, comedy improv, songwriting, raw foods & healing herbs and so much more.  The tuition for these runs about $250-$425.  You can save money by commuting and not staying at the beautiful 90 acre community built with a lake on it for swimming.  Without courses, workshops or accommodations, the R&R retreats are only $25/day for weekdays and $38/day for weekends.

One of my favorite writers gave a workshop in May.  Julia Cameron, "The Artist's Way, was there.  There's a women's wellness retreat August 14-19, 2011.  it runs $425.

They do offer partial and full scholarships, but except for women with breast cancer or survivors of the disease, most are gone this time of year.  The scholarships and the seasonal jobs which offer free courses, yoga, open workshops, the lake, a library and more start going in February.  You get free room and board, three vegetarian meals a day, a small stipend and other perks.  If you can do office work, wash dishes or cook, be a lifeguard and similiar seasonal jobs, you have a good chance to spend your summer there at no cost to you.

For more suggestions, try "Retreat Finder." Retreats are listed both by state and region of the U.S.  Some are very reasonable too.  They run the gamut from solo silent retreats to writing, arts and spa retreats.

Or you can always search for a retreat coach, rent a facility, and have your own retreat.

I hope I get to go to one soon.  I need to be rejuvenated and tuned into that still, small voice.  I want to get away from all the distractions and live in nature somewhere, preferably near a lake.

A Letter From An Angel

 Angel (fragment of the Baronci altarpiece)--by Raphael.jpg



I hope it's okay with the angel if I share the letter they sent to me.  I think it is good for others  who believe and those who would like to believe to know there are angels among us.

I was recently noodling around the Internet, looking up creative visualization or affirmations or something for my article.  I came to a Web site that had a smallish link for if you wanted to ask an angel a question.    There was something sacred about this Web site.  They didn't ask for money either.  So I wrote the following question to the angel:


On 6/14/2011 12:29 AM, Maryellen Grady wrote:

  Holiness,
  How do I know which of my dreams are what my life's purpose is?  I
  have so many things I want to do with my life yet, even at age 60, and
 I have a hard time getting things done.  How do I discern which paths
 are most important and in keeping with my life's purpose?

 Blessings on you.  Thank you for helping me.


--
Peace. :Love & Higher Consciousness,

Maryellen

(MsRefusenik)

------------------------------

This is what the angel wrote back to me:

Beloved Maryellen,
You are living your life's purpose with each breath. You do not see
what we see from our perspective. We see that for your time of 60
years your light has  touched many with love and generosity of heart.
Be at peace dear one with each day. Laugh with yourself and and allow
each moment to be a gift unto itself. Experiment with your dreams as
if you are trying on new clothing to see what feels wonderful, and
when you you feel joy in your expression proceed. You may do this as
you sit in a space you find peaceful, then choose to visit your dreams
one at a time. There are those that you will release like a feather to
the wind,  you will find clarity in this simple exercise. You are
asked to relax into each blessed moment and let go of your need to
qualify your worth. Know that as you believe  in your Sacredness,
Grace will guide you in ALL WAYS.
Love surrounds you.








It is perfect for where I am at in my life and the confused state I have been in.  I looked for the return email address and it was a different email account of mine



So what do you think of that?  I wish I could give you the name  and address of the Web site where I found the link to the angel, but I didn't pay attention at the time.  How was I to know that a real angel would be answering my question?

Pay attention, be mindful and listen for the still, small voice within and you too will be guided to miracles in your life.   I know and believe it.  Give synchronicity  free rein  and don't rationalize the miraculous coincidences when they visit your life.

Peace and Joy to you,

Maryellen

(MsRefusenik)

You Are What You Think

 Photo by Shellorz
Creative Commons Attribution License

You’ve heard the expression “You are what you eat?” More important than this notion is the truth that you are what you think. We create our own realities with our thoughts.
Quantum physics and quantum mechanics have shown that everything can be reduced to subatomic particles,  which consist of photons, leptons, electrons, neutrons, quarks, etc. and ultimately that all matter is actually pure energy. We have come a long way from the solid matter of Newtonian physics since Einstein gave us E=mc squared theory.


Quantum physics has also taught that what an observer sees depends on the observer observing. The power of thoughts creates energy that wouldn’t be there if no one was observing.
If we have this power to alter energy and transform it, wouldn't we want to use it to improve our lives?  Your vibrations from the thoughts you project create what you experience for better or worse.  Why not use mind programming techniques to have prosperity, health, love, opportunities and happiness? Change your negative thoughts  to the power of positive thinking.

You can't do this through willpower or some special discipline because the subconscious cannot be coerced.  It knows you are struggling and so creates a reality in which you struggle. 

You can have what you want and need by clearly knowing what that is, and using those thoughts to let the universe know what kind of reality you want to experience.

So you are reading this and you're  thinking "Just change my negative thoughts into positive thoughts and everything will be gravy.  Ha!"  It does sound unlikely from that cynical perspective.  First of all you have to learn what to do with the negative thoughts. 

It is very important not to limit yourself with negative thoughts of lack, illness, unhappiness and not believing that you are meant to be joyous in this life. The Dalai Lama writes that our main purpose in life is to experience joy. Joy is possible for all of us if we believe it and if we think it. We often limit ourselves with our thoughts and beliefs, and cannot look beyond the limited boundaries we have set for how much good we will allow into our lives.   The more open we can be towards the possibilities that exist, the bigger we dream and believe, the greater are our opportunities and abundance. 

What kind of a life are you creating with your thoughts? Limited thinking can result in not having what we need and want.  We know from research on the mind-body connection that we can create illness, health or healing with our thoughts.  We can also think ourselves into impoverished, sick,  unhappy, miserable lives.

How can you change your thinking to change your life?  How do stop the negative thoughts? Simply by not reacting to them or giving yourself to them. They lose their power and they fade away. Do not tell yourself I have to change my thoughts. Instead, relax, slow down and let the thoughts be. Alpha waves created in a relaxed state help the process.   Let the negative thoughts  do their own thing. Do nothing with them. Do not pay attention to them, and do not try to fight them. Don’t tell yourself you must stop the negative thoughts. Do not try to stop them.  It's like being on a diet and telling yourself, "I will not think about pizza."  The more you try not to think about pizza the more you obsess about it.  Soon you can  practically smell the sausage and onions and taste the cheese.  "Diets are made to be broken" you tell yourself as you grab the first slice. 

You may not be entirely comfortable with the concept of "re-programming" the mind, as though you are asking to have yourself brainwashed  to change your way of thinking.  But it is the fixed mindset that has been programmed into you already by your teachers, parents, government, society and the culture to consistently produce negative results.  You were born into a belief system that venerates the logical mind over all else including anything that can't be seen, touched, smelled, heard or tasted.  Your mind believes this is the case when it discounts things such as intuitive messages, vibrations from what you think and feel, and the power of the unconscious when it sends us dreams. 

The false self, the ego, guards and defends the mind to maintain the status quo. It is the false self ego, the karmic consequence of negative actions, that promote the negative thinking.  

The only way to defeat the negative, and the programmed logical mind is to identify and expose the components that form the sophisticated system of philosophical/psychological mind control we are all born into.  When you  know how to do this, it is a simple act to just remove the negative, which always begins with a thought and convert that negative into the positive.

Positive thinking is powerful and it changes realities. The universe is created through positive spiritual laws constantly and consistently converting the negative into the positive--the first law of creation.  Individuals, governments, corporate thinking have all used the the counterfeit world of a negative and false model which throws us into conflict with that first law of creation.

You can add the methods for treating negative thinking with affirmations and creative visualization.  Creative visualization is a mental technique that uses the imagination to visualize the life you want to have.  Once you can clearly see it, it will become your reality.  Creative visualization can improve our lives and bring forth new opportunites  and prosperity. It is a power that can alter our environment and circumstances, cause events to happen, and attract money, possessions, work, people and love into our life

We know that creative visualization is used by athletes with much success.  Basketball great Michael Jordan says he used to see the basketball going into the net before he shot it.  Golfing stars like Tiger Woods  hold the club at the ball and first visualize where they want that ball to go before swinging.  
  
The law of attraction is not a new idea. It has always been here from cave-dwelling times when hunters painted successful hunt scenes on the walls of caves.  They  used the law of attraction, and sodo people in business who visualize themselves successfully completing goals. You use it too, whenever you think, make plans or daydream.We attract into our lives what we believe and think.  


Use affirmations to strengthen your desires.  These short sentences should be in the present tense, positive and said aloud with feeling and gratitude as if they had already occurred.  For example, "The abundance that surrounds me has given me freedom to do what I love."    "Money comes easily to me as I am inspired and blessed with new opportunities each day." 


Set up a quiet location where you will be undisturbed as you say your daily affirmations aloud, and feel the impact of the images you are visualizing.  Watch for the positive changes that will come into your life once you begin this routine.  The  negative thinking will be a thing of the past and no longer in charge of your life.

I Am Enough! You Are Enough--Now, Not In 5-10 Years

Yes, as the motivational speakers like to say, we truly are human beings and not human doings.  You wouldn't know that or stay mindful of what that beings from the information we are deluged with on the Internet and everywhere else on productivity, personal development and schedules for it,  getting things done, becoming an entrepreneur, doing it, just do it, what we should with any free time,  and the whole "Be All You Can Be" themes of the writing, speakers and culture.  Let's not forget the emphasis in these medium on how to make more money.  That must be the hottest ticket on the auction markets for keywords.

Why can't we be enough just as we are for a minute?  Aren't I good enough as I am?  Why does everyone want to convince me that I'm lacking, a slacker and a bum if I just want enjoy who I am today and what I do?  Who do we have to be and what do we have to do to be loved, which is really all we want?  Can even God love me as I am?



Here are the top 50 productivity blogs for those of you who are human doings.  It wears you out just to read the titles of the articles:  "Five Ridiculous Reasons You're A Couch Potato," (being tired and wanting to rest is no excuse) (Dumb Little Man); "Top Ten Reasons to Upgrade Your Daily Routine, " (Lifehacker), "Tying to Pursue Too Many Goals At Once," (Lifehacker); "Thinking Only in the Short Term Halts Your Ability to Pursue Multiple Goals," (I feel another stern lecture coming on.  Lifehacker); "Putting First Things First," (Get Rich Slowly.  Are you surprised to learn that "first things" aren't developing more compassion, peace, your life's purpose, or anything that can't be measured, seen and touched.  No, things mentioned as coming first are investing as you can as early as possible for retirement, building an emergency fund ASAP, paying your bills as they arrive, being fit and following a fitness program and eating a good breakfast.) 

Oh there's so many more it makes me tired just to read the titles.  Why do we have to spend every free moment improving ourselves by making more money, working out, losing weight even if we aren't obese, building a platform, having good branding, on and on.  It never lets up.

Is it any wonder that there are so many unhappy frustrated people not getting enough rest or sleep who are driving themselves to early strokes and heart attacks because they cannot believe that they are enough as they are? 

The ego is driven.  The ego hates rest and tells you why you should pull another all-nighter on a work night.  The ego wants more money, fame, glamour, beautiful sex partners, and self-importance.  It wants you to make out that damn daily schedule where you write down what time you expect to be brushing your teeth at night and eating meals at six o'clock exactly, and making sure every free minute is scheduled for productivity and self-improvement. 

What do you want?  What does your higher consciousness want for your inner life?  What are your values, intentions and beliefs, and let's knock off goal setting for one day.  I don't want to learn more efficient ways to multi-task.  I have ADD and barely get things finished as it is. 

Don't I get a break at for what I have accomplished?  Doesn't any of the accomplishments we already have count for something?  Maybe only on LinkedIn and our resumes.  Some of us have had to overcome some major obstacles in our life such as alcoholism, addiction, mental or physical illnesses, losing loved ones, losing custody of our children, being homeless, being poor, being unemployed for long periods--just plain playing the cards we were given.  Don't these people get to rest on their laurels just a little bit?  Put that whip down please.  I never joined the Marines.  I don't want to go to boot camps of any variety.  My goals have subgoals and I work towards them everyday. 

I don't know about you, but as a result of all the mental conditioning to be more and do more and get more done, I don't let myself slow down for a minute.  I have too much to do to take the time to visit a friend or even call one.  Too much to do to read all the interesting information that drifts to my browser, but I really wish I could stop and read that.  I have too much to do to be bothered with taking walks, nature, meditation, cleaning and organizing, being compassionate to all, asking to know God's will for me...

Is God's will for me to go to grad school?  I hope not even if I can help others more with an advanced degree because it's more of too much to do.  I am already or planning to work on improving myself by learning French, Web design, digital photography, publishing my two novels, writing e-books, submitting mindful articles to major publications or at least getting the nerve up to query some of them, grant writing, start a grant writing business, start a nonprofit and mange it, find a solution and work towards using it on problems like homelessness, poverty, injustice of any kind, illiteracy, legal rights for only those who can afford them, Big Pharm's latest assaults, the artificial interference with our food, pesticide loading on fruits and vegetables, and more every day. 

What is my soul's mission and what was I put here on this Earth to do?  I hope it has nothing to do with Pilates, running, not eating cookies, shopping at Aldi's instead of health food grocery stores, being frugal till it hurts, having a brand and a platform, owning a second home for retirement, building anything with wood, bricks or paint, or reading more teeny tiny print and government publications.  I hope my soul's mission is to be joyous, learn, help, give, appreciate, develop and use my talents for the benefit of others not just me, provide humor and beauty to my small patch of the world, be a good role model for my children and others, listen to people with concerns and problems, and things of that nature.  Mostly I think I am here to love:  myself and my neighbor and everyone in the world. 

The Dalai Lama says we are here to find joy and be joyous.  I can go along with that.  It is the result of loving and giving.  I wasn't born with a soul and consciousness that are only meant for tangible accomplishments that result in getting more done, making more money or being successful in the business world.

I am enough.  I am enough right now, today, and I am worthy of love as I am.  I am enough in what I have accomplished and persevered to do,  and it's good I have dreams and plan to continue to contribute in a lot of different ways, but I need to make sure that I am not blocking today's self-acceptance on what I have yet to do to win approval by the world's standards.  It's good to  slow down to be attentive to the still, small voice within, and to pay attention to the synchronicity that delights with miraculous wonders and is always on time.

I think that for now I will just row, row, row my boat and be mindful that life is but a dream.  It is not a competition or a race.  There's no prize for who gets there first, wherever "there" is.   I will live in the eternal now or keep trying.

Medicare pays for smoking cessation counseling

Medicare will now pay for smoking cessation counseling. "It is considered preventive service if you haven't been diagnosed will an illness caused or complicated by tobacco use. As of Jan 1, 2011 you pay nothing. They also will pay for 8 face-to-face visits in a 12-month period if you're diagnosed with an illness caused or complicated by tobacco use, or you take a medicine that is affected by tobacco. You pay the doctor 20% of the Medicare-apprived aniybtm tge the Part B deductible applies."

It's all in prevention I guess, but they're mighty cold to those with smoking related diseases if you ask me.

Just Don't Drink Or Drug If You Can't Write and Try These Suggestions

This picture looks like the hills of Southern Illinois just south of Carbondale where I went to S.I.U. on the 10-year "never graduate or they'll make you get a job" plan. I used to like to take bicycle out on the paths through the hills and woods. I like to look at this picture and pretend that's my bike there, and I am off looking at a cave or rock formation.

I love getting comments on this blog, and I got a good one yesterday. It's published somewhere on here I think so I guess it will be okay if I reprint it here to share:

"Don't drink much anymore, maybe too young to die but already too old to die young....Great, visually attractive blog you have here. I'm supposed to be writing, have a 300 page memoir in need of a publisher or agent, and don't seem to be producing much these days, have to work to make the landlord's mortgage payment, keep the credit card companies at bay, subsidize fat bonuses for executives, and make sure the bombs keep falling....this, not writing could drive me to drink, illegal drugs or suicide, although the final option is highly unlikely, no matter how bad it gets, I have to find out what happens in the next episode..."

By D Mage on Writers Drink Too Much and Then They Kill Themselv... on 6/10/11

I can really identify with what this person says. (Thanks for the compliment on the bloc's looks. She's do for another makeover soon.) It's tough when your day job interferes with your passion. I really believe writing is sort of like drinking/drugging in my experience. If you don't write every day, things are not good in your world. If days and weeks go by, God forbid months, and you are only signing checks as far as writing goes, you get in deep shit.

When I don't write for even a day, I get down. I don't get seriously depressed, but I don't feel the surging of the spring of joy I like to have in my emotional fountain. I am just not right. I get irritated by store clerks, annoying phone calls, and focus on what my son who lives with me, age 21, isn't doing. As usual, I am in shit when I start wanting to control other people. It's usually when I am mad at myself for breaking my vow to myself that I will write 1,000 words a day.

Until two days ago I was really feeling bored, restless, negative. I was finding easy rationalizations for why I wouldn't write an overdue article for my alternative health job. Worse, I would not make myself write the articles on intuition and mind programming that I am hired to do. I wouldn't allow myself to go out anywhere or go get together with a friend. I couldn't do that or I'd be breaking the unspoken rule that if I am not writing, and I stuff that I should definitely be writing, then I am not allowed to have much joy or loosen up and have some fun. It's sort of like calling in sick for work. You hang up from talking to the job and start feeling, "Yeah, I am a little sick. I have a tickle in my throat and my tooth hurts." This way you don't feel quite as guilty for leaving the coworkers short-handed or missing a work deadline. Am I right?

So sometimes I must prefer spending my day feeling bummed, negative and guilty. Maybe it's my Catholic upbringing and I just feed the need to feel guilty once in a while. I mean I don't deserve to have a clear conscience. I don't put on stockings and skirt in the morning and report to my job in the cubicle working for the man. I haven't worked outside my home for years. I am sleeping when the employed people in the neighborhood have their lights on because it's some ungodly hour in the morning and they have to get ready for work. Some of them may be trying to get in some writing before they have to shuffle down to the job and put their creativity and inspiration on hold for eight or nine hours. Then they go home and they're too tired to write, or it's time to give the family some attention and time.

And all I have to do is write an article on mind programming, and I stubbornly refuse to do it because I am a life-long rebel and usually refuse to do what I'm supposed to when I should be doing it. No, I enjoy feeling free and joyous at times because I don't have a job to bring me down, but rebel because money is dirty and I'm getting paid to write or I'm not writing what I want to write but what someone else wants.

Childish and not pretty---those are the facts of my twisted thinking. I'm lazy and I procrastinate because I'm convinced I write better when tomorrow is the deadline and I've got nothing to submit. This is a lie. I really write during these all-nighters with acid in my stomach from the 12 cups of coffee I drank, sweating real B.O. sweat, and feeling that I need some drugs, some old-fashioned speeders to help me accomplish the task That was how I got through college as a straight "A" student: writing all-nighters fueled by white crosses.

Anyhow, before I went on an ADD distraction detour there, I was saying that I was recently feeling lousy because I have all these big plans to write a daily reflections sort of book, my articles are due, and I am still not submitting to major magazines so I can get some good clips for my portfolio--also so I know that I'm worthy and capable as a writer.

Wouldn't you know it? Synchronicity saved me again. I do try to keep in mind what the Divine wants me to do with my life, what my soul's mission is (to benefit others through my writing), and to be mindful and listen to the still, small voice of intuitions. As a result, I often get synchronicity shooting me signs, opportunities, reassurances and support among other things.

This time I was at the library getting books on developing intuition, when I happened to see my old friend, "The Artist's Way--A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity," by the brilliant and wise Julia Cameron. I also spotted her "Walking in the World," which I hadn't read. There was nothing for it but to add these two to the 25 other library books I currently have checked out. (Most are on grant writing though so I don't them as part of my greedy total.)

Julia Cameron is famous not for the books, plays, and entertaining gigs she used to do, but for two other things that get written about in every book of hers, I think: The artist's date and the "morning pages." Julia is the one who helped me see how twisted and antsy I get when I don't write. She writes about the enormous difference in the lives of people who started writing three pages by longhand, absolutely stream-of-consciousness, every morning when they wake up.

So I was reading about all the bad things that happen to people who get out of their morning pages habit, and I realized I felt like dog dodo because I wasn't writing. Just wake up, grab your favorite writing implement and get anything from a journal to a notebook to a legal pad, and start putting down whatever comes into your head with no censoring or worries about grammar, punctuation and spelling. You are not supposed to re-read the pages when you are done. No second drafts of from the mind, heart and soul writing.

There's no wrong way to do these. Put down what's bugging you, your worries and why you're mad at yourself like I did this mornings. Even if something pops in your head that seems teeny weeny and too petty to write, put down that you are going to make yourself banana pancakes later in the morning.

Julia tells people how important they are for all writers and artists, anyone who wants to tune into more of their creativity, and people who just don't want to stay in shit all day. Read about it. You can go to The Artist's Way: Basic Tools Web site and download the first chapter. You can buy the book on Amazon for $15.99 hardcover, Kindle $13.99 or pick it up used for around $2.44. You should be able to get your library to get it for you, or maybe all the copies aren't checked out and it's on the shelf like it was for me, right when and where I needed it.

I needed to re-read it for a lot of reasons, but one major one was that I have been promising myself for months to go on an artist's date, but I just "couldn't" leave my work (Internet noodling). I tell you I am going to make a big, mean and menacing looking official sign to put over my desk that says, "Miss, step away from the computer." I may need someone with a gun to force me to step away as often as I should though.

An artist's date is a weekly one to two hour or more jaunt to some other place that you do solo. It helps put you back in touch with someone you haven't seen in a while: the real you. The kid inside you gets to explore, have an adventure, experience something they don't every day or have never experienced, and generally get their juices flowing again. We all need some time alone to get renewed and replenished, especially if you are blocked and not writing.

You set this artist's date on your calendar, and you keep this important appointment to "nurture your creative consciousness, your inner child." And it's just for you time. Don't bring a friend and go shopping because that's not an artist's date, although it's good to "get out and blow the stink off of you," as my dear, departed old Irish Dad used to say to us kids.

Make it a real adventure and take yourself off to some place you've never been: a museum, art gallery, neighborhood, a factory that makes something interesting like stained glass, or an ethnic restaurant you’ve never tried. Or you can keep it low-profile, and do something that tickles you when you let yourself slow down enough to be aware that your doing it. This could be like browsing the books at the book store, checking out what's new at the bead store, going to a automobile showroom or lot.. I don't know what in your world equals cotton candy at the carnival when you were five, but make a list of possible artist's date destinations and put them on your appointment calendar. Keep these appointments with yourself as you would if they were lunch dates with friends or a dental visit.

When synchronicity shined that big light bulb over my head, I realized how overdue I was for an artist's date. The kid in me doesn't like it when I keep breaking my promises to go. By the grace of God I was able to "step away from the computer" with my hands up and free from drafts I should revise. I took myself to one of my most favorite places, the Carousel Shop thrift store. I have wanted to go there for weeks and pick up some shorts and speakers for my computer. They didn't have speakers this particular day but often synchronicity sees to it that you find the perfect whatever it was you wanted.

The Carousel has a deal where you can fill up a regular size shopping bag with used books for a buck. I kept myself slowed down enough to look at every book. I was looking for books and magazines with pictures for the vision board I have started making, but I found a lot more. I also took my time looking at every craft and kitchen item in the store. I found the shorts I needed but in my distracted artist way lost them between the dressing room and the cashier so now I have a reason to go back.

Or you can break a dry period by writing out a weekly schedule and putting down what time you will report to the computer and for how long. Go for long walks every day or 20 minute ones, but get out of the house and into nature.

And don't forget to have a candle on your desk burning for the all the people you hope to touch with your writing by writing something they need or wanted to hear that benefits them in some way.

I broke my 1,000 word article cutoff promise to readers. This is over 2,000 words, but it was an important message to share with my reader who went to the trouble of leaving a comment and all readers.

Why don't you leave me a comment too? It doesn't have to be about the blog post for today. It can be about anything. Good quotes are also always appreciated and vocabulary words I may not know that might come in handy are a joy. Yesterday I learned the word "bedizen" from Julia. Here's the definition if you also don't know it. It's a good word to have in your toolkit:

Definition of BEDIZEN

transitive verb

: to dress or adorn gaudily

— be·di·zen·ment noun

First Known Use of BEDIZEN

1661

Love, Freedom & Lots of Belly Laughs,

MsRefusenik or is it Maryellen today?

Writers Drink Too Much and Then They Kill Themselves or Die Young

I am going back to 1,000 word a day commitment.  It keeps me writing, and it keeps my garrulousness in check, sort of.  I am too windy, I know.  I will really shoot to keep the limit.  I really will.

I've been reading sad things today about how the book is going out of style and soon will be nothing but trash heaps and memories or somethings.  People like Jane Friedman, media specialist, media critic, writer and professor with a new book, The Future of Publishing: Enigma Variations, you can read a free excerpt from on the future of publishing.  You can get 39 pages of the book for free if you follow the directions and go pay $1.99 to Scribed.   She thinks the end of normal published books you just buy in stores is within shouting distance.  She blames Google, Apple and Amazon for taking over publishing and leaving writers in the dust.  She says that multimedia is the future of writer's writing, and look for more online and Web site multimedia non-books.

That is exactly what my brother is intuitively doing with his book that I am editing, "A Fairy Tale Life Is No Fable, by Michael Grady.  It is aimed at teenagers, and he knows from having his own kids, now young adults, how hard it is to get them to read a book that's good for them.  It seriously would save any teen agony and tragic mistakes and show them how to lead a joyous, responsible life and be a contributing member of society.

Listen to this.  Mike was a C.P.A. before he retired and he knows a lot about investing money.  When he wrote the first version of this book, he put in a surprise for his wonderful children whom he knew were just waiting with bated breath to read his book.  He wrote right in one of the later chapters on investments that he was giving each kid a big sum of money to invest as they wanted with the advice in the book.  He also told them where and how to get the money.

Neither kid ever got that money because neither read the damn book their father spent all that time and energy writing. I begged my son, a teen too at the time, to read it.  I wrote him a long letter about all the mistakes in my life that I might have avoided had I read this book as a teenager.  I implored him to save himself some misery and just read the book, which I view as the instruction manual God didn't think to give us when we were born.  He would not read it.  He has a second chance now and not much is different in his sleep all day party all night life.  We'll see what happens.

Jane Friedman's newsletters and blogs are the greatest thing.  She writes about writing for writers.  She also gives away rare nuggets of goodies and information like the old drunk lady on the corner used to give out Halloween candy.  She is so generous.  If you don't get anything else, get these five free ebooks  she recommends and links you up with. If you're a writer or media entrepreneur wannbe sign up for her newsletter too.

About that title of this post...  I just recently submitted this blog to Top 100 Sober Blogs Directory.  The blog has to be about that. Hey, this blog is sober and so am I:  Two years sober this month--today for all I know. I am a proud recovering alcoholic/addict and I do try to instill hope and recovery from several things. I try to  help others find their purpose in life, grow and develop as human beings, and learn more about my personal story, what kinds of things I write in Chicago Alcohol &; Recovery Examiner, and recover from everything that keeps you a slave and doesn't let you be fully human, alive and bursting with joy, and free.

So the title, "Writers Drink Too Much and Then Kill Themselves or Die Young," is about what I most aspired to when I was in college.  I wanted to be like these writers--"Top 10 Drunk American Writers."  Check out those quotes below their name.  At least they were honest:

""First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." -- F.S. Fitzgerald.  


I wanted to go back in time and hang with all those expatriate drinkers/writers in Paris in the 20's and 30's like Fitzgerald, Hemingway and go visit Henry Miller, Gertrude Stein, Anais Nin (not a drunk), and just be wild, free, creative, brilliant and drunk. 


Like this quote from a recent New York Times review of "Midnight in Paris."


"Many a writer or artist has longed to travel back in time to the sizzling Paris of the 1920s, to sip absinthe with Hemingway at Les Deux Magots or dine on choucroute garnie with Picasso at La Rotonde. Imagine the conversation! What has beguiled audiences about the new Woody Allen movie, Midnight in Paris is that the protagonist, Gil, a disenchanted Hollywood screenwriter played by Owen Wilson, gets to live exactly that fantasy."


It goes on with all the delicious details of drinking, writing and carousing in Paris that I know so well since I think I believed when I was a coed that I was not just some drunken, obnoxious, know-it-all but one of the hippest pack of them all.  If I had to be a woman I would be June Miller or Anais Nin.  I preferred to think of myself as that poor, tragic souse Fitzgerald with his partially glamorous life when he wasn't bankrupt, taking Zelda, his wife, to mental hospitals, or puking on his shoes while trying to get a loan from somebody like Max Perkins.   "Those were the days.  I thought they'd never end."   


My glamorous fantasy fueled by non-stop drinking and drugging (and the occasional college class) came to an abrupt halt.   I had to sober up at 28  or die.  I had to accept my complete ordinariness that came with homelessness, poverty, a liver that stuck out and hurt, an extra 50 pounds of beer bloat, a head so fogged I couldn't remember what address and phone number I was using when filling out job applications, and nursing a broken heart because my true love had just drowned.   Oh, yeah, and I didn't write shit, just as I had written not a whole lot of anything  in college in my creative writing workshops.  I cared too much what other people thought.  I worried the  hip cat graduate students might mock me, scorn my writing and pass swords through me during the public evaluation of my writing.  


What a crock!  


And that's 1,127 words, but some were quotes I didn't write.  See you later alligator.


Peace, 

Help Me Write You A Free Ebook You Will Really Love and Get Something From

It's 9 a.m. and I haven't been to bed yet.  I am too excited over the gold rivulet I found among the fools' gold on the Internet last night.  I have some real gifts for anyone who writes, wants to be an entrepreneur in a non-conformist way, wants to be a really good as well as successful blogger, is interested in traveling the world, wants to know more about the state of publishing in these digital times, and more.  Get your clickers out and clear your storage space--some of these are pretty big pdf's.


First off, as a result of all the freed up, wild, non-conformist, passionate writing I was reading all night, I am ready to write an ebook and give it away for free.  I have my book from "Plain Language At Work Newsletter," and i give up trying to get the web address right on that. Just Google it and it comes up right away. Then among the many interesting facts about writing in clear, easy to understand English, on the right side of the newsletter cover in the second box down you'll see "The Principles of Readability."  If you write much, download this free pdf file. It is like taking the gauzy film off your eyes when you see how simple it really is to make sure your writing is clear and understandable, and you are not talking down to your reader either.


If you are a writer who for most of their life has written for print mediums, do yourself a favor and order "The Yahoo Style Guide: The Ultimate Sourcebook for Writing, Editing, and Creating Content for the Digital World."  It has got everything you need to become digitalized and not turn readers off because you have dense, packed words with no empty white spaces that help the skimming digital reader feel he can quickly make short work of speed reading your content.  You also have to learn about navigation, coding, that "e-mail" is actually "email" and the old rules that no longer apply: (hold your hats on now).  The old "rules" that no longer apply in this cyber world of fast, loud music and most of your information in audio and video form, are:  1. Never split an infinitive.  2) Never end a sentence with a proposition. 3) Never start a sentence with a conjunction.  What a relief to step out of those chalk lines, especially since I frequently do all three.


But get this book, which if I have a criticism, and, of course, I do, it's that the generation digitalizers that wrote this book don't know how to write for print. In print there are no links to click on, but these writers don't let that stop them from giving you whiplash damn near as each sentence you read in the order that the book was supposedly written, the conventional order of page one to page 509, from front to back, sends you on a hike off to Chapter 11 or Chapter 14 or somewhere other than the next sentence.  It is maddening.  It's as if I am writing here to you and I tell you, wait, there's a better explanation and more examples of what I'm saying on page 295, and page 302.  Go check those out.  So you shuffle through the damn book, look at the measly little extra information or examples, come back to where you were and try to get your concentration back, and the very next section sends you scurrying to Chapter 14 and Chapter 16.  I tell you it's maddening.


Otherwise, I recommend you buy this book, but write and ask them if they plan to release it online anytime soon first.


I have been getting email from this guy for over two years I bet, and I have always meant to read one of his free ebooks, and finally last night something I read struck a chord in me, and I began to read in earnest. I'm talking about Chris Guillebeau, world traveler, writer, and guy who by his wits and non-conformity has never been anything but self-employed.  Go Chris.


I used to think he was sort of a wack job, but now that I want to do exactly what he's been doing these past years--writing for himself, making a little money but not selling out, and traveling around the world, he sounds like the first time I heard "I Am the Walrus."  I will be giving you some links to get his free books. If you've got money, maybe you'll buy some of his carefully selected products for sale that he lives off when he's not giving everything away.


He wrote this.  I like it's boldness. It's fresh.


Ways to Be Unremarkably Average


1.  Accept what people tell you at face value.

2.  Don't question authority.

3.  Go to college because you're supposed to, not because you want to learn something.

4. Go overseas once or twice in your life to some place safe like England.

5. Don't try to learn another language; everyone else will eventually learn English.

6. Think about starting your own business, but never do it.

7. Think about writing a book, but never do it.

8. Get the largest mortgage you qualify for, and spend the next 30 years paying it off.

9. Sit at a desk for 40 hours a week to do an average of 10 productive hours.

10. Don't stand out or draw attention to yourself.

11.  Jump through hoops.  Check off boxes.



If you haven't read what this free spirit has to say about ethically making a living by using your talents, and avoiding office cubicles like Tramp in Lady and the Tramp avoided the dog catchers, you get inspired like I did.  He also introduces you to some very interesting people who are characters in their own right.  Here is 279-Day Overnight Success.


I really think he is a visionary, and i respect what he's doing.  I hope to follow my dreams as courageously as  he.  I want to travel worldwide solo couchsurfing.  I want to support myself by doing photojournalism and travel writing.  I hope to soon learn how to write a grant proposal, and start a little home business writing grants. Then I'd like to choose a world problem that touches me like hunger, homelessness, untreated alcoholism and addiction, corruption of our food by Big Business, BigPharmaceutical pushing their poison on the innocent who don't know what's coming...  oh, there's so many.  Then I'd like to be like my hero, Scott, who went from whoring and partying his life away to starting a nonprofit charity called charity: water that has provided clean drinking water in so many countries and got contributors to give so much money for the cause.  

Until then I continue in my dream of recovering from alcoholism, addiction, ADD, depression, and bipolar disorder and feeling better and stronger every day.  I am sober two years this month.  I once was sober 15 years, and another time 5 years I think it was. I am not going back to hell this time.  The thing is you stupidly lie to yourself and say "I'll just have two beers," and you don't set that drink down for 5 - 7 or 12 years.  Time flies when you're busy leading a double life, retching, falling down, alienating your kids, and being a slug that just takes up room on the planet unnecessarily.


So I want to write an ebook and give it away.  I want to write about something  that I know well, that will benefit others and give them hope and maybe even joy.  Please help me choose a topic.  Again, here are the conditions and diseases I experienced, overcame and continue to heal from:

1. Bipolar disorder.  Diagnosed at 42. I am furious about the horrible drugs they give "crazy" people, even when they know like they did with those with dementia in the nursing homes that the drugs they were feeding these patients to keep them quiet and manageable were most likely going to kill them.  I call that murder.  I want to write about how a person with bipolar disease can get off the worst of the poisonous drugs.


2. Adult AD/HD (ADD).  I am thinking of writing a journal of recovering thoughts they can add their own insights to. I don't want to say too much because mine would be the first or one of the few.


3. Coping with depression.  I used to spend weeks and months just lying in bed too depressed to get up.  Today I don't go through depressions like that any more.  I want to help others who are told by friends and relatives to just "snap out of it" to find peace and some joy.  Healing is possible.  Snapping out of it isn't.


4. My heart aches for non-custodial mothers. I lost custody of my children when they were small because I had a bipolar breakdown and then I relapsed on alcohol and drugs.  My heart broke so badly I felt the rip and the hole.  One thing that helped me get through this dark, horrible, hell on earth period was the support of other non-custodial mothers in an email organization just for that issue.  I got help from so many women whose hearts were  also broken, but  who still could care about others.


5.  I know a lot about herbs and smart drugs.  I would like to put together some "recipes" for things like fatigue, lack of concentration, fogginess, distractibility like those of us with AD/HD suffer from, insomnia, chronic fatigue syndrome, PMS, and other physical, mental and mood disorders.  It's a crime what we have to go through to get smart drugs known to be safe and effective but unavailable in the U.S., although some are but only by prescription.  I want to track them down all over the world and find safe, secure distributors.


6.  I know a lot about alternative, complementary and holistic health.  I would like to write a book of remedies and advice for various conditions and complaints.  The medical doctors don't let you in on information that is not traditional and standard, even if it's been used  in Europe for decades and proven to be safe and effective.  Also, I would list all  the various branches of these schools of medicine and outline what they are, how they work, what the pros and cons are, and how to find a practitioner. These would be things like energy medicine, chakra cleansing, meditation, the mind-body healing connection, Traditional Chinese Medicine, some of the many successful uses for acupuncture, and much more.  I can't get enough of healing and medicine and have been interested in it all my life.


7. I want to write some kind of book to help lonely people find a way out of their self-created prisons.  I want to give them some hope.  I would not tell them, like most of the books, to go volunteer, get out of themselves and give to others and get a pet.  Sure, that's all good advice, but you have to understand that a really lonely person suffers from such self-loathing, and lack of self-confidence in social situations, they are almost paralyzed by their own inner thoughts and feelings and cannot do things like reach out to others.  They are in too much pain. I have been there, and I was blessed to climb out of that pit.


8. I studied creative writing as my specialization in college.  I have written short stories, poetry and now novels for most of my life.   I also took classes that taught how to do it.  I could write about some aspect of writing.


What would you like to read about that couldebooks about:  SEO, keywords, entrepreneurship, start-ups, making money online.  Although I could write about how to get freelance writing jobs that pay enough to be worth doing and are about your niche  areas of interest.


Let me know.  Write me an email at msrefusenik@gmail.com or leave a comment.  Thanks a lot.